Aibu on flight

[perroy]

I was on an plane today. Family of four were travelling. One child with father in the seat in front of me and mother with another child in the seat behind me. Children were shouting, beeping a fictitious horn, making motor noises all through the flight. The parents were tickling them and making them squeal with laughter. It was a plane full of children and this family was noisy throughout the flight. All the other children had settled down in some time.

After the fifth time the child with the mother had got up on his seat and squealed in my ear I turned around and said SSSh quiet to the child.

The mother used profanities, showed me the finger and told me her child was only two.

Was I wrong to address the child when the parents were not taking any efforts to settle the children?

You suck it up OP. Toddlers have the right to travel too. If you had an issue tell the mum or the air steward.

I detest that high pitch scream that children do. Parents should be discipline there kids when they do it. You were right what you did. The parents were rude and prob thought it was cute, not everyone wants to hear kids scream and be loud.

@Boshmama so the mother’s abusive reaction was justified? Because the OP dared try and hush a small child who’d been disrupting the whole flight and who’d been shrieking in her ear?

@Mummyshark2019 did you actually read the OP? The parents were encouraging the noisy and disruptive behaviour with little care for anyone else. Then the mother simply swore at the OP and made excuses for it. So she was hardly reasonable was she?!

I would have fully reclined my seat and that would have been a good bargaining chip for you.

YANBU. Thankfully only a few posters on this thread say otherwise but it’s actually worrying how they’re so focused on you saying ‘shhh’ rather than the abuse you got in return.

I flew alone long haul with mine regularly through the toddler years because we lived overseas. There's no excuse for letting kids disrupt other passengers, you go equipped with distractions and bribes - this was before smartphones which are even better at keeping them quiet (with headphones!). That said speak to the parents not the kid

I flew home on an evening flight with the husband & ds who was 17 months. Half the flight including husband had food poisoning & only one of the toilets on the plane was working, many people on the flight didn't get to the toilet in time. Ds was hyper all the way home despite already being dressed for bed & having a bottle as we were taking off. I was so grateful to the other passengers who offered to cuddle ds so I could deal with my husband. Someone even offered to help at baggage reclaim as I rooted in the bags for some clean clothes for my husband so he could bin what he had flown home in due to unfortunate accidents on the plane. I have never been so glad to get off a plane in my life.

YANBU but even as a mother of 6 my tolerance for noise and other peoples kids is nil.

ALWAYS take headphones on every form of public transport, ALWAYS.

She sounds like a right chav and they probably don't fly often so it's a big deal to them to be on the plane.... I saw a LOT of these parents on our flight the other week. You can always tell.

Family on hols.....holiday started the second they hit those seats and sod anyone else in their way. Now....personally I’m old school....in PUBLIC kids should be seen and ( a bit ) heard. Not my kids not my racket pls. Play at a park / home / anywhere but NOT in my ear on a plane and the parents are the worst sort to say ‘ it’s a happy child your a grinch’. NOPE>>>>>>its a very annoying noisy child whom everyone else on that flight was hoping would shhhhhhhhh so they could get through the journey. I’d never have shusshed someone’s kid but I’d have been more ..”FFS!!” Really loudly and made it realllly obvious I’m at the end of my tether before saying something like ‘ fucks sake Please can you keep the noise down !’

wasnt Duchess Kate & Prince William was it?

You suck it up OP. Toddlers have the right to travel too. If you had an issue tell the mum or the air steward.

Oh please FFS.

Tell the air steward - really ???

No one has to 'suck up' annoying children.

You should have said something to the parents but if it wouldnt have worked anyways fair enough.

Profanities and giving you the finger in front of their child? No need for that.
The child may be only 2 but behaviours are learnt and it shows what kind of parent she is.

I reserve the right to shush a anyone, of any age, who repeatedly squeals in my ear. If your toddler is made of glass and cant cope maybe stop them squealing in strangers' ears. One of them may be as curmudgeonly as me.

there is a huge contrast between the way that some kids are brought up. The other week I was on a flight where the 2 children across the aisle from me were sitting on their own (parents behind) and they were an absolute delight. Quiet, calm, polite, self-assured (so not scared to make a sound), chatting with each other but not screeching. They didn’t kick the seats in front or run up and down. They had iPads and were mostly watching those. Sometimes they turned round to ask their parents questions (intelligent kids too, by the sound of it, wirh enquiring minds). After they’d eaten they put their rubbish in the bin bags the crew brought round. They were about 6 and 8, a girl and a boy. Some adults in that plane could have taken a leaf out of their book. I really wish I had said something to their parents about how well-mannered they were now. Years ago that kind of behaviour in children would have been the accepted and universally applied norm. Now, sadly, it seems it’s literally remarkable.

I haven't read all of this so I am sorry, but my response is the same even considering any updates I've missed.

The reason I do deem to be unreasonable is only because it's incredibly unlikely to quiet the child shush, as the chances of parents shouting at you and deeming you "that horrible lady", is high.

Poorly parented children still understand the human experience, so I would definitely have made a comment to the child given that they're only young, friendly and reasonable that "oh please not in my ear, I'll end up with a headache won't I!?" Or "oh! Please don't be so loud when there's nowhere else I can go, I don't want to get a headache".

I find that making "complete" and rational comments to children are entirely valuable because they understand not wanting a headache and know that loud noises make them. Plus, any parent arguing that you shouldn't have said so, would just be publicising their own ineptitude, so unlikely. Takes a village and all that, I figure I'll try to instil what their parents aren't bothering with and hope the glimmer of empathy and sense sows some kind of seed. Naive I know!

Parents needed pulling up on this.
Don't see a problem telling someone else's kid off - teachers will be doing it soon enough. (Though telling off a 2 year old probably doesn't work)
If someone had to tell my kids off for being annoying, my first reaction would have been embarrassment that they needed to!

Seems to me the parents better prepare to get used to people telling their kid off!

I'm surprised that you were so restrained OP.

If they didn't want their child shhhing they shouldn't have let then shout down OPs ear. Selfish bastards.

I think YWBU to be honest. You'd have been better to address the mother, not the child.
That said, I can't see that you'd have got a better result.

The child was 2! Do you have children? Yes you were bvu! Would you rather the child be entertained and laughing or being ignored and left to scream??? You are the kind of person that needs to go and live under a rock. You were a child once! 🙄

Oh dear. The mother gave you the finger for saying Shush to her little rapscallion ? There’s no way that child should have been allowed to stand on the seat and shouted in your ear . As a lone traveller I find you can tune out to a lot of noise from children .... but not what you had to deal with - seat kicking is my all time hate. Good parents will at least try to amuse and tone down even a two year old .

Yes you were wrong. You should have asked the mum.

I've been trying to think of this from the point of view of the mother. Would I feel any happier if the OP addressed me with her complaint instead of shushing my child? Probably not. It's still a criticism of (a) the child and (b) my parenting.

So YWNBU. You couldn't win either way.