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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think labour can’t be THAT bad?

802 replies

Bumpingbumping · 23/08/2019 13:15

Potentially being extremely naive, and of course this is excluding exceptional circumstances/emergency situations.

But aibu to think labour can’t be as horrific as people make out? I’ll be giving birth in 10 days time following an induction and everybody keeps asking me if I’m terrified and telling me how awful it will be.

Surely if it was THAT bad people just wouldn’t do it? Or would opt for a c section?

Again, feel free to hit me with the facts because I’m possibly being naive. But does anyone have any nice birth stories? Particularly following an induction?

OP posts:
Thehop · 23/08/2019 13:17

People who say you forget are wrong, it’s just absolutely worth it.

Can’t be that bad, I had 4. One induction, 3 back to back and one emcs.

I’m still sad I can’t have more.

QueenofmyPrinces · 23/08/2019 13:17

But aibu to think labour can’t be as horrific as people make out?

Grin Grin

That’s funny!

GillT333 · 23/08/2019 13:19

I thought my first labour was horrific and that I’d never have any more. However I recovered physically within weeks and mentally within months so had another.
I was nervous with my second but reminded myself how quickly I felt better afterwards.
So I’d say brace yourself but it’s worth it and the feeling of achievement is amazing.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 23/08/2019 13:20

Dude, it's fine.

Like particularly savage period pain. But you get painkillers, a bed, a nice lady to talk you through it.

I had stitched which wasn't fab but totally bearable.

You'll forget all about soon enough afterwards. It's like any other 'injury'.

MockersthefeMANist · 23/08/2019 13:21

....Oh.

Sorry

Thought this was another Corbyn thread.

BinkyandBunty · 23/08/2019 13:21

Yes, it's horrific. And I say that as someone who had 2 relatively uncomplicated births.

I didn't expect there to be so much blood and guts, or vomit.

But it's all over the second the baby's out and it's all worth it. That's why women go back and do it all over again.

TimidLividyetagain · 23/08/2019 13:25

Well I thought that and had fairly easy births untill the third one. And that was horrific bit not wanting to say this to a pregnant woman. It's can be as bad as people say. But it's worth it as you love your baby. And it's not as simple as asking for a C-section that isn't easy either. Hope you have a manageable birth and all goes well though.

YourEggnogIsBetterThanMine · 23/08/2019 13:25

Hahahahahahahaha!

Is this real? It feels like you're being turned inside out. It's fucking horrendous ime. The squishy baby and tea&toast help though. Good luck.

Pinkblueberry · 23/08/2019 13:25

YANBU OP. Obviously all births are different - some are really difficult for all kinds of reasons, but especially when they last long. I was in labour for 5 hours, so it wasn’t too bad. Pushing a baby out definitely didn’t hurt anywhere near as much as I thought it would, but the contractions were a killer - I just had gas and air but if you have an epidural or other stronger pain relief then they’re probably not as bad as mine were. I would pick a day in labour over a day of morning sickness anytime!

Biscuitsneeded · 23/08/2019 13:26

Well it hurts more than anything else that's ever happened to me. Think really bad stomach virus pain combined with leg cramps except they are in your pelvis and back. But it is all, absolutely worth it.

NovemberWitch · 23/08/2019 13:26

No, it wasn’t that bad for me. I managed with gas and air, first one was under 6 hours, second was around 4, third was 3 1/2. Hard work, but not excruciating. Pregnancy was a doddle too.
Completely unlike my SIL’s experience.
So each experience is unique to the individual.

Flatwhite32 · 23/08/2019 13:27

Sorry to break it to you OP, but I found induction contractions absolutely excruciating, and I have a high pain threshold! The problem with mine was that I hardly had a break in between. I had diamorphine in the end which helped quite a bit. I didn't find pushing the baby out as bad as I thought it would be, although I was lucky enough not to tear badly.

LittenKitten · 23/08/2019 13:27

I didn’t find it horrific, but every labour will be different.

For me, yes to it feeling like especially bad period pains. And then you get The Fear when it’s nearly time to push. But not horrific no. Pushing felt like doing a giant poo to be honest. I did cling to the gas and air like it was life itself.

And then - all being well - you get a baby and feel like superwoman and have the best tea and toast you’ll ever have in your life.

whattodowith · 23/08/2019 13:28

Sorry but it can be pretty fucking horrific. 2/3 of my vaginal deliveries were traumatic. Think emergency forceps because baby was stuck, back to back contractions, failed epidural, haemorrhaging due to retained placenta and needing blood transfusions, stitches up to my buttock...

Third delivery was fine although was another back to back delivery so contractions were incessant.

Had an ELCS with DC4, best thing ever Grin.

GummyGoddess · 23/08/2019 13:28

I had two home births and I found them both positive experiences. Dc2 was delivered by DH as I didn't realise how far along I was and didn't call the midwife back in time.

Contractions aren't pleasant, but as soon as you reach the very peak the pain is manageable as you start dropping down the other side of it. I only had a tens machine for the majority of both labours and didn't have it for either delivery (dc1 I had got out of a pool, dc2 I leant on the button and didn't notice I'd turned it off).

If I have a third dc, I'd have another home birth, if I thought the pain was that bad I would go to the hospital. It does seem that the level of pain is different for everyone though, some people say it's easy, some say they wanted to die. You won't know which you are until it starts, do whatever you need to do to make it as positive as possible.

HeadintheiClouds · 23/08/2019 13:29

No, it’s all a conspiracy. Of course it is.

burritofan · 23/08/2019 13:29

Like particularly savage period pain.
Ahahahahaha if your periods are like your spine has been transmogrified into a white-hot corkscrew that an evil giant is trying to tear out of your anus while your entire being becomes molten lava and you threaten to jump out of the window, then... sure. Like a period.

OP, it's different for everyone. Some bits are worse than others. Go in with a TENS machine and an open mind; hope for gas and air but don't rule out a lovely, lovely epidural.

CoffeenWalnut · 23/08/2019 13:30

I had a more or less pain-free labour....with no pain relief at all.... I couldn't really feel the contractions, no tearing or stitches - big baby (over 4kg).

My midwife was very big on positive attitude and preparation and I'm sure that helped. I realise that pregnancy and childbirth are different for everyone but I don't think it's helpful to suggest to a woman in her ninth month of pregnancy that she should be dreading labour.
Just like it wasn't helpful of ma in law to say in DC1's hearing how miserable the firstborn would be when the new baby arrived... because her son was miserable when his sister was born.

whattodowith · 23/08/2019 13:30

Sorry for TMI but I had diarrhoea a few months ago and realised that intense need to push is exactly the same during labour, complete with the burning sensation. Obviously far more intense during labour.

Contractions are nothing like period pains or at least weren’t for me. They’re more like stomach bug cramps.

Mamma92 · 23/08/2019 13:30

I think it just comes down to personal experience my labour was awful induced 3 long days of pain baby was back to back wasnt given any pain relief apart from paracetamol which did nothing as I vomited them up until they finally listened it was too late already 9 cm ended up with episiotomy a tear and forceps delivery then retained placenta not sure I would go through it again but I do love my daughter more than anything!

Curious2468 · 23/08/2019 13:31

With my first the labour was a breeze and I wouldn’t even use the world painful, more intense

My second went back to back and that hurt more

Truthfully though stitches if you tear are worse than labour!

Ibakelotsofcakes · 23/08/2019 13:31

To be fair it probably is as bad as people make out. I say that as someone whose labours were very quick. You get through it because you have no choice.

But then it's all over and you have your lovely baby, and you recover.

SantaIsReal · 23/08/2019 13:31

I have never physically pushed a baby out but have went through the labour part and that hurt like a bitch. I never knew pain like that existed. I was then whisked to an emergency section which is major surgery (mine had a ton of complications on top of it too!) In saying that, even though I was close to death twice, I went on to have another baby by elective section in December. Why? You don't forget but those little babies just make it all worth it. You block out the bad and focus on the good that came out of it. I also had PTSD from my first birth.

WoManAdultFEmale · 23/08/2019 13:31

There I was thinking you were asking about the political party...

Grin

It's not that bad x

TriciaH87 · 23/08/2019 13:31

Try 36 hours in labour back to back which is fairly common. This is when they push on your spinal cord and you beg them for a c section as you would rather die than carry on in that moment because no pain relief is working. Labour is the worst pain you can go through scientific tests indicate its like over 200 bones in your body all breaking at the same time.

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