To think labour can’t be THAT bad?

[Bumpingbumping]

Potentially being extremely naive, and of course this is excluding exceptional circumstances/emergency situations.

But aibu to think labour can’t be as horrific as people make out? I’ll be giving birth in 10 days time following an induction and everybody keeps asking me if I’m terrified and telling me how awful it will be.

Surely if it was THAT bad people just wouldn’t do it? Or would opt for a c section?

Again, feel free to hit me with the facts because I’m possibly being naive. But does anyone have any nice birth stories? Particularly following an induction?

Well it hurts more than anything else that's ever happened to me.

I also haven’t been through anything else majorly painful, but I do get leg cramp sometimes - I think they’re definitely more painful than labour

The comment about people just opting for a c section?!?! You do realise that a section is not the "easy way out", dont you? It's major surgery which comes with it's own pain, complications and hideous recovery time.

I’m feeling the same op I’m due in December and I’m not worried I’m looking forward to it in fact and like pp said that it’s worth it which is what I’m going to focus on when the time comes. Have you been watching any obem?

I think if I mentally prepare myself for it then it won’t be as bad. Could be wrong but I’ll do whatever I can to help myself through it

Well my first labour was bad enough that I had a c section with my second. It won't be dreadful for anyone and there are ways to make it less awful (tens, hypnobirthing, water birthing, opiates, epidurals, keeping fit in pregnancy, Pilates or yoga, having a good midwife and birth partner etc) but yeah it's naive and a bit dismissive of other women to say it can't be that bad. So if you had a good experience, it's not that other women are wrong, or whiny or whatever. Some women get lucky. And if you have a bad experience it isn't because you've done anything wrong. Some women aren't lucky.

Well, YABU and YANBU. It varies. But I was induced, it was ok. 9 hours total, epidural, DS popped out and I was fine. DD refused to play ball with induction, appeared to be having her own little Ibiza rave in there. Had Ceasarean, less good but also fine.
Try to keep moving: do not submit to monitoring that means you have to lie down unless it it vital.

Depends on the labour you get!
Mine was awful and led to a c-section. My friends was amazing, home birth, no pain killers and no stitching. Another person I know had a perfect experience until they had gas and air and someone else I know had an awful after time of it and readmitted due to complications.
Just go with the flow, prepare by going to classes if you want. Whatever will be will be as they say

Depends on the birth.

My first labour and delivery was fine, long (24 hours) but fine. Small tear but nothing I couldn’t deal with. Had an epidural in the end which left me with temporary paralysis down one leg and hideous back spasms for years after - the epidural was the worst and wish I hadn’t opted for it.

Second was very short (5 hours) but utterly horrific, the pain absolutely broke me there was no time for any pain relief as I went from 4 to 10cm and pushing within minutes. I also had a terrible third degree tear that needed surgery to repair and unfortunately had a post partum haemorrhage during which was scary. Took about four months to recover from the surgery and about the same for the pain to subside.

My third was an emergency c-section due to foetal distress and umbilical cord prolapse. The section itself was fine the pain afterwards however felled me, I have never felt pain like it I was on morphine for weeks, infection after infection, couldn’t lay down to sleep or even pick up the baby it was horrible, and now 11 weeks post partum I’m only just starting to feel somewhat normal. I’m currently having trauma therapy to deal with the mental health side of having an emergency section.

All births are different and everyone deals with them differently also, it’s all relative to that person. You may be fine you may not. But yes it can be horrific and it can be fine, no one knows until it happens.

And really c-sections aren’t an easy way out option they are invasive major surgeries that come with pain and long recovery periods. I don’t know anyone that would opt for one voluntarily if they didn’t need it.

It's too variable per woman to say it's horrific or not. Mine was frightening as it was my first, and the pain was intense; I got to 9cm on 2 paracetamol because the department was busy and they didn't get chance to check on me very often. Once they realised I was at 9cm they whipped me round to Delivery and DD was born a few hours later.

For me, the pushing was the easiest bit because my body just took over and it was all automatic, I had no choice, DD wanted out!

and afterwards, the Dr spent about 40 mins stitching me up (which was not fun) and then it was all over and the memories definitley fade over time.

Like you say, it can't be that bad otherwise the human race would have died out years ago....

Are you open to having an epidural if you feel it’s too sore? Inductions can be pretty painful (mine was).

I quite enjoyed labour with DS2, I had a water birth and did hypnobirthing. It was quick and although I tore I healed quickly.

I had an epidural with mine so it was fine.

Everyone's labour is different. Mine were easy and not particularly painful - no tears or stitches.

However I accept I may be in the minority here.

I really enjoyed it. My labours weren’t even straight forward.

It is the worst pain you will ever feel (I don't know how it is possible to be in that much pain and not die) but the best thing you will ever do. I had a natural pool birth 10 months ago with just gas and air, badly torn and lost a lot of blood.

Once you have your baby in your arms it will all be worth it! I felt superhuman for a good few months afterwards! It is a feeling like no other!

I am now actually exited to do it all again when we have our next one! I actually get a little bit jealous of people who are going into labour

Contractions and pushing - not that bad. The traumatic off-script events that occur to most when picturing their expectations of birth is what is so infamous about labour.

Come back after you've given birth and see if your still saying that.

Not the same for everyone. It was excruciatingly painful for me, long and hard and scary. I had two more long, hard and scary labours because you do forget, and holding the baby you made and worked so hard to deliver is absolutely worth it!
That and the tea and toast afterwards 😄

Sometimes its really bad...sometimes its really not. You don't know what you will experience, and nobody else's experiences are going to be yours.

I actually do think we are heading for a future in which almost all births are elective C-section. This is because the worst end of the vaginal birth spectrum out weighs the best end of the vaginal birth spectrum in terms of lives lost/ruined and bodies and minds damaged.

The range of experiences from elective C-section is so SO much narrower. You almost do know what your getting there, with really difficult experiences being a very very small minority.

I really REALLY wish I had opted for C-section rather than suffering the birth experience I had. I lost multiple years of my life to the aftermath. IMO its not worth putting so many women through that for the odd one that found birth a positive experience.

You don't forget, I still remember the pain of my first labour like it was yesterday. I'm now pregnant with my third baby so it can't have been THAT bad, and both my previous labours were just managed with gas and air if that's relevant.

The fact is though, that it varies from person to person. No two women have the same experience and people's pain thresholds really vary as well. Unfortunately you don't know how it's going to go for you until it happens, but the baby is coming out one way or another so you're right not to stress about it too much.

It's not bad for many if not most women. Those who do have problems tend to speak the loudest remember. Go with an open mind, remember it's a natural process and avoid lying down - drug free and in all honesty, it was pressure but it didn't hurt. I got lucky I admit but scare stories are more interesting so they get repeated

This is a pretty silly OP, but as I'm assuming you started it in response to people telling you horror stories, I won't join in. Let me just say, like pps, that you simply can't tell how labour will affect you until you're doing it.

I'd been a birth partner twice for a close friend, who had two straightforward home births and described labour pains as 'they hurt, but it feels like productive pain, like your body is carrying out some kind of process -- not like an injury/illness pain'. I'd read everything, taken NCT and NHS classes, taken hypnobirthing classes and pregnancy yoga, was strong and fit, and had had a completely unproblematic pregnancy. I'm also quite a stoical person about pain, have had kidney stones (famously horrific pain) and once walked around on a badly broken ankle for a day etc. I was as well prepared as I could have been.

It turned out I just couldn't cope with labour pain at all.

I say this not to frighten you, only to say that other people's labours are no guide to how you will experience yours.

Best wishes for your birth.

I thought the exact same thing, I was even excited / curious to see what it was like. I was wrong. It is that bad. But it doesn't last forvever (even though it feels like it at the time) and I felt like a super hero afterwards (which was pretty cool!).

I think the mistake is thinking that labour is one level of pain that some women deal with better than others. In reality the level of pain can vary massively from one birth to the next, from painful but manageable to absolutely traumatic. You don't know what you're going to get before you go in, so best be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. Good luck

Mine was absolutely fine.

I was induced. Had the pessary in the evening. Had strong period pains but nothing exciting so went to sleep. Woke up in the morning to my waters breaking. Waited to see if anything happened and it didn’t so I had the drip. A couple of hours later my dd was born. Yes it hurts but it only lasts a minute then you get a minutes break before the next one.