To think labour can’t be THAT bad?

[Bumpingbumping]

Potentially being extremely naive, and of course this is excluding exceptional circumstances/emergency situations.

But aibu to think labour can’t be as horrific as people make out? I’ll be giving birth in 10 days time following an induction and everybody keeps asking me if I’m terrified and telling me how awful it will be.

Surely if it was THAT bad people just wouldn’t do it? Or would opt for a c section?

Again, feel free to hit me with the facts because I’m possibly being naive. But does anyone have any nice birth stories? Particularly following an induction?

It varies from woman to woman. I have a rubbish pelvis and I married someone whose family all have giant heads at birth. My experiences I tend to file as "interesting" but I do have 2 so ...

the pain is obviously different to labour but no less real, and the recovery time is much longer.

Having had 2 emergency sections, I think like labour, it varies from woman to woman. My recovery time was dramatically shorter than my SiL who tore badly (as in I was pushing the pram the 3 miles to preschool by week 2 by dc2, 11 years later she still struggles to walk that far). I also didn't have anything I would class as pain post section with either. I think it's completely personal and whilst a straight forward easy vaginal birth might have a shorter recovery period, a non straightforward one might not. Some people bounce back for whatever reasons regardless of mode of birth, others do not and it's probably a combination of luck/genetics.

Nobody can guess what your labour will be like so yanbu.

The problem is more that the easier labour stories don’t get shared as much. One because you are far less likely to have after effects to discuss. And two, because people that had a more difficult time make it awkward to discuss because you’ll always feel like an insensitive twat if you bring up your easy birth.

I clicked on this thinking it was about the Labour Party. I was composing my response in my head as I started to read. Never mind...

Just to add, I haven't had one, but my sister had two, and I've never seen anything easy about a C section - either way has it's pros and cons, and neither is 'easy'.

OP, try it.
Start by vomiting several times a day for at least four months. Ensure your belly and breasts feel as tender as hell. Then waddle about for a further five months feeling like an overstuffed cushion that’s force-filled a bit more every day. Notice the movements of another creature living inside your body. Be aware of the rate at which the creature is growing. Pay some mild attention to your vagina. How far does it stretch? Now look at the head of every newborn person you see, and compare with your tidy little love-passage. While your eyes are still watering from that one, imagine the vice-like grip needed to squeeze a person out of that poor fanny.

It’s that bad. As bad as they say and more. I had an amazingly straightforward four and a half hour labour, no complications, and I thought the pain would kill me.

I dont remember the pain being that bad and I had stitches. It was fine! Breastfeeding however, was pain I hadn't imagined.

One horrific. One fine.

It is what it is. The end result is all worth it

Well obviously it is subjective, everyone’s experience is different but personally I found my CS the easiest of the bunch.

My vaginal deliveries were just completely traumatic and agonising, I lost half of my blood after the second one. My elective c-section was easy in comparison, it just was. I was home after 12 hours and didn’t nearly die for starters.

Well said @peasando the comments on c-sections are really frustrating me. There’s a reason there’s the stigma around them when people still go off like they’re the easy way out.

Vaginal delivery recovery is far easier than recovery from the major debilitating surgery that is a section.

I haven’t read any of the responses because obviously it goes without saying that it’ll be a different experience for everyone. I only have the one DC and was pretty unprepared for the birth tbh - no antenatal classes (circumstances prevented us attending) I didn’t even read much about birth beforehand (not too sure why on this one tbh). Someone I know who was pregnant at the same time had colours to visualise and stuff like that (not too sure what kind of mumbo jumbo that is tbh).

Anyway, yeh I was pretty surprised how painful the contractions were tbh and that was just at the start - I was in labour from 9pm till 7am the following day when we went to the hospital and I was only 4cm cool..

So yeh I’m not really sure about ‘horrific’ extremely painful, definitely but then I had an epidural in the end so I hate to think how painful it actually is pushing the little bugger out

I was surprised by how intense the whole thing was.

My waters went first, cinema style massive hush and then feeling the baby move about inside sans waters was pretty grating.

I panicked a lot. Didn't seem any end to the contractions and each felt like a horse kicking me in the bottom of my spine over and over again. I couldn't tolerate any pain relief so was on my own.

It can be THAT bad, it was. Your whole body is effectively stretching apart to get that baby out.

But some people, including some of my friends didn't find it that bad.

I feel like women get on a power trip with this stuff sometimes!

You’ll be fine. It hurts and there’s not much dignity in it but you’ll get through 😊.

I was always positive - just thought I know I’ll handle whatever I need to handle. I had no pain relief either time but I did have a 3rd degree tear the first time round but it didn’t take away from the excitement. I was screaming ‘it’s a boy!!!!! It’s a boy!!!! Omg look at him everyone!! I can’t believe this, I can’t believe I a have a son!’ I was so happy. It was one of the best moments in my life.

My friend had a water birth and no pain relief, talks about it fondly.

This is a really fucking bad idea for a thread. Why do you want people to tell you their horror stories just before it happens to you?

Run away, hide this thread and start one in Childbirth requesting positive induction stories, encouragement and tips.

OP if you need a syntocinon drip for induction then insist on an epidural first.
I was put on the drip without any pain relief (thanks MW) and it was the only time in any of my 3 labours that I screamed uncontrollably with pain.
For my second and third DC, it was not so much the pain but the exhaustion of labouring for a long time that was bad.
But yes in established labour I had no gaps between contractions at all and with DC2 in fact had "double-headed" contractions with 2 peaks.

I had a very fast labour, the pain was excruciating, how I didn’t just pass out I don’t know. BUT, and it’s a big but, once it’s over it’s over. Normally if you were in that much pain then you would’ve been in a car crash or something so you’d be frightened, not knowing what’s going on or whether you’re going to live or die, but with labour you know it will end, there’s no recovery (like on crutches or having a cast) you’re not terrified and you’re prepared, so you get over it. And you get a cute baby which distracts you

It does hurt, a lot, but I didn't find it horrific. I'm one of those weird people who was kind of curious about the pain with my first rather than scared. I read a good book on labour, can't remember the name though.

First was an assisted delivery, second was a water birth. I have overall positive memories...For me, it was an amazing thing to experience, both times, though I do realise that is not the case for everyone.

I think there is a lot of focus on the scary stories and maybe less attention given to positive birth experiences... Hopefully you will find it positive.

The end is utterly amazing and for me made the pain totally worth it. All the best!

It's not that bad, but in the same way running a marathon to raise money for a charity you love isn't that bad. It's worth it for such an great cause.

I was induced and gave birth naturally 12 hours later.
It was truly the most painful thing I have experienced. I am willing to do it again in order to have another baby. But I wish there were a magical way to get a biological child without any pain or side effects.

Mine were quite easy. I did remember wondering what all the fuss was when you see women on tv screaming and sweating! Mine were qick and quiet obviously everyone is different though!

Haha.

Well of course it totally depends. DC1 I had a very long, drawn out back to back labour, and almost 3 hours of pushing. That was horrendous, although the only pain relief I used was G&A. I also contracted very slowly 0-5cm but once I reached 5cm I went to 10cm very quickly so the contractions were on top of each other, no rest.

DC2 was very different, overall much shorter but I suppose more "averagely" paced labour so I had a break in between contractions. Still absolute agony but I was able to chat to DH/midwife in between contractions and again only used G&A. Still pushed for over an hour though. Pushing is the worst bit for me but lots of babies seem to fly out!

If you're being induced you'll most likely have an epidural, no? I would definitely go for it if I was you!

It varies for everyone. It's just impossible to know which type you get no matter what planning you do before.
Key is to be really flexible with your birth plan and not expect it to go exactly as you want. Don't build it up to have to be the most amazing zen experience ever and don't forget - there's no medal for not accepting help to go through it either. The important thing is to end up with a healthy baby and you in one healthy place too.

Dd was an induced birth due to being late. It wasn't my plan but it was what it was. It hurt, a lot. I had a lot of pain relief in the end. Three doses of the induction didn't work. 50 hours later I had a c section which actually was ok. And most importantly Dd was well and healthy and so was I. Recovery wasn't too bad.

Good luck with the birth. Just go with it and take any help they offer if you want it.

It was worse than I thought. It felt like I was being disemboweled with a fork. Felt great afterwards, though!

My sister had the best description 'like trying to pass an orange through your nose'.

You won’t know until it happens.

My births were actually fine. Agony but over very quickly (1 hour). No breaks between contractions. I do remember shouting out ‘I can’t do this’ a lot though in that hour.

Not the worst pain ever though for me, but definitely number 3. I’ve had an earache that was excruciating for hours and the worst, by some distance, was what I later worked out to be implantation pain with one pregnancy (not viable and I wonder if that was related); I thought I was dying with gallstones or appendicitis or something.

Good luck. You’ll find out the answer soon!

I had no pain relief for either of my labours. The first was the worst pain in my life AND we had a relatively simple birth.
The only pain that came anywhere near it was intense, grinding toothache.
That’s one of the reasons there are 8 years between my DC.