To think labour can’t be THAT bad?

[Bumpingbumping]

Potentially being extremely naive, and of course this is excluding exceptional circumstances/emergency situations.

But aibu to think labour can’t be as horrific as people make out? I’ll be giving birth in 10 days time following an induction and everybody keeps asking me if I’m terrified and telling me how awful it will be.

Surely if it was THAT bad people just wouldn’t do it? Or would opt for a c section?

Again, feel free to hit me with the facts because I’m possibly being naive. But does anyone have any nice birth stories? Particularly following an induction?

I was induced and found it horrific. I went from 10 - 1000 in a matter of minutes because the inducement stuff (don't know the name of it) worked really well and so he came quite quick. I got an epi but had him only 20 minutes later so it was of no effect. My mid-wife wouldn't check me because she said I would be in labour for hours even though I kept asking. In the end I started to panic and begged her to check and started crying and she said she would do it to appease me and he was almost out. She had to press the emergency button. He was born 3 minutes later. I'm not telling you the story to scare you but rather to be aware that for some people when they induce you it can come alot quicker so they should be checking more. Everything was fine and pain was gone and everything back to normal straight after. The joy of holding our DS was amazing and it was all totally forgotten.

I gave birth 3 times (+ a late miscarriage that was essentially a birth) without any pain relief, not even gas and air. It was painful, but not the "greatest pain the human body can experience" I sometimes read about. Perhaps I was lucky, perhaps I have a high pain threshold.

Lots of luck to you OP!! Stay positive. Hope you have a good (as good as it can be) experience.

For me, I was physically sick within the first hour of being induced & contractions starting from the sheer pain of them. 10 hours in and I was begging the doctors just to kill me. I'd have thrown myself out the window, but it only opened a few inches (I checked). It's all worth it though and you do forget about the pain very quickly.

Mine was awful.
You go in totally unprepared, midwives were shit, nasty cows.
Put on the drug to speed up the labour, and the pain was relentless for hours.
Tore to pieces.
I'd recommend saying you don't mind being cut.
I think a nicer midwife would have suggested it to me when I was pushing for two hours with no progress.
In the end the brute force of my baby shooting out tore everything, labia, clitoris, perineum.

The repair job was ineffective.

18 years on it still makes me upset.

I was induced. It definitely is that bad. However, DD is so, so worth it that I'd go through it all again in a heartbeat for another one. It'll be fine, just take pain relief if you want it and remember that an epidural isn't a failure.

Everyone is different.

My baby was back to back and I found it unbearable at only 3cm. At 1cm I couldn’t even sit down, it went on for ages and was relentless. It took me 30 hours to get to 3cm before I had a drop.

I had an epidural, as well as pethidine, gas and air and tens. Because I needed it. Some friends were only in labour a few hours so were able to get through it or didn’t have a choice.

You’ll be fine but if you do feel like it’s too much and a long labour just take pain relief. I don’t get this natural birth crap- I cringe when I see celebrities boasting that they had no pain relief. I absolutely loved giving birth once I had my epidural and wouldn’t change the experience. No one gets a medal.

Like other posters I haven't forgotten!

DC1 I was given a pessary & left to it but then I progressed super fast, active labour was 1.5 hours although I'm pretty sure I was in active labour as I was being moved onto the main ward. I thought I had a fairly high pain threshold (had 4 other operations & some stitches without anaesthetic) & my initial contractions were ok, like bad period pains but I could ride the wave. Then baby turned back to back & fing hell the contractions were awful particularly as I was supposed to be on my back. I felt like I was being hung upside down with legs apart and my back was getting sawn down its spine. All the pushing was in my bum. Remember the stinging of the crowning but that wasn't too bad & only a few stitches which I don't remember. No time for hardcore pain relief (even though I begged) & only got the G&A at the tail end. What I found amazing was unlike any other injury the pain just went anyway straight away & I remember the shower I had a few hours later was amazing, washing off the sweat, blood & vomit.

DC2 was a semi elective due to position. CS's are not easy at all!! I recovered well and left hospital the next morning with some paracetamol, presumed I would be kept in a few days on hardcore drugs but no. I could only shuffle around for a few days. I remember the shower after my CS & I cried because I dropped my shampoo & had to bend down for it 😧

I think I went into shock and panicked during labour, possibly because I was so mentally unprepared. I couldn't process how much more awful it was than I had anticipated. It wouldn't have been less painful, but I think being mentally prepared for next one (coming soon!) may help in terms of not being frightened. But who knows!!

I think this is a really good point. I understand that a lot of pregnant women don't want horror stories, but I had so many people telling me "oh it's fine really", "it's just like period pain" (and later admitted they were sugar-coating it) that I was completely unprepared for the reality and it came as a huge shock. I knew there was going to be pain, obviously, but I had no idea how painful normal labour can be.
I also had in my head "if it gets too bad I've always got the option of an epidural" because no one tells you that sometimes they just don't work. So when I had mine, fully expecting to feel blissful relief I was like "what do you mean it hasn't worked?? It has to work!" Second time around I was prepared for it to be horrendous but actually I felt much more calm and in control and it was nowhere near as bad. I know that a lot of women want to hear "positive birth stories" when they're pregnant but I think if you read too many of those it can set up unrealistic expectations and then make you feel like you've failed somehow if your own experience doesn't chime with those stories.

As awful a pain it is I would always choose a natural birth without pain relief over any other birth. Being able to obviously. I gave birth and was home within hours. I forgot the pain all 3 times.

I've had 4 births and quite honestly, it was so painful that I distinctly remember almost wanting to die at some point. However, whilst you don't forget being in pain, you forget the feeling of pain.

Try to remember the worst toothache you ever had. It was absolute agony at the time and you can't imagine anything worse but once it's better it's a different matter right?

@Dinosauratemydaffodils that was my intention, it was meant to be simplistic I was simplifying. I stand by what I said, if you RTT you’ll see I’ve had two vaginal deliveries and an emergency section all with varying outcomes and recoveries.

I could handle everything apart from the peak of the contraction when I felt like my head might explode with the intensity of the pain.

Second baby was an elective section - now THAT was a dream

When I was pregnant with my first I was told the opposite. Bastards.
Each birth (4) got worse. After my youngest, I was adamant I would have no more and my body agreed.

@thesunwillout

I'm so sorry you experienced this. As a midwife I am always shocked to read about terrible midwives.

I am not sticking up for them either. I had a bunch of nightmarish midwives when I had my fourth baby. It still haunts me.

OP

I think you'll find that labour is very painful - probably more painful than you're imagining at the moment.

So many things contribute to an "easy" labour. The baby's position and the shape of your pelvis are vital. You do not yet know what these are.

Be open-minded. With any luck you won't have complications or be induced. Induced labour is longer and more painful. Natural labour is generally easier to cope with.

Have you had any ante-natal preparation? Knowing what is going to happen and learning to breathe through contractions is very helpful.

If you end up asking for an epidural please don't think you've failed.

Good luck. The baby does make the whole thing worth it.

Oh, but the good thing was after the fourth I was ripped. The MW told me as she was stitching me she had put in a few extra ones to tighten me.

One of my ops was appendicitis & it had nearly burst so felt like I was being stabbed in the lower stomach & thought I better go to A&E. Back to back labour was much worse than that.

I think the thing with inductions is that they can lead to many other interventions. I had one with DS and it was awful. I went from 0 contractions to massive ones every 5 kin

The baby does make the whole thing worth it.
Until the toddler and teen ages

The worst part is when I got to the pushing stage and thought I could feel the baby coming out, realised I just shat myself instead
It was horrific but I'm about to do it all over again in a weeks time so it can't be THAT bad.

Don't worry OP, you'll be fine when the time comes.

Oh, and women who say labour is like period pain (going by my personal experience) are those whose periods are very painful.

I'm not saying they're lying, either. It is known that women who experience severe period pain do not find labour as bad as women who do not.

My contractions were absolute hell-pain. Nothing like a particularly bad period AT ALL. I literally thought "I am never EVER doing this again, no way, this baby will be my only child". Course I did go on to have a second, once enough time had elapsed, but jeeez... in answer to your question, the pain really was THAT bad, and I had an elective C-section second time round as I was so traumatised by it.

Sorry OP, but best of luck with your birth!

Yea appendix pain is a walk in the park. So is endo pain.

Oh god I'm always worrying I won't be able to cope with it. I really, really want to be a mum but I'm very scared of Labour.

I had a horrific car crash about 18 months ago and the pain was so bad that even though they gave me shitloads of morphine and ketamine I was still screaming like an animal.

I honestly did not know humans could go through so much pain and not pass out - I was begging them to let me die at one point which was terrible.

They said afterwards that now I've been through that I'll be able to deal with labour... I feel like I know they're lying and I'm scared it will be even worse!

But at least I'll get a baby out of it not just lots of metalwork 😊

It's awful. You do wonder how it can possibly hurt as much as it does. But I would still prefer labour to a very bad migraine. The pain is for a reason and it is temporary. After dd2 I thought to myself that the cold umbilical cord was really uncomfortable - then remembered that I'd just been in agonising labour for three hours and how was I so annoyed about being slightly unconfortable! But that's what seeing your baby does. You don't forget the pain of labour, but it no longer matters.

Oh you mean “labour” as in giving birth?

... no, it’s not as bad as the other Labour :)