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AIBU?

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Original poster

Just been shouted out by funeral party...

717 replies

Pinklady1982 · 23/08/2019 13:05

Aibu to be feeling really upset by this? I was just driving along and a funeral car pulled out slowly from a turning. They had about 10 cars behind it which were possibly all part of the party, so I slowed down and let a load of cars through. Now this was a residential road and I could see some other cars had joined the back of the queue. I started easing forward a bit as if I kept waiting there letting all the cars out I would be there ages and needed to get home, also I wasn't to know if they were all part of the funeral. I had right of way as they were in a side turning, but sat there patiently for a while. Well this lady then rolls down her window and starts shouting at me! Saying they are part of the funeral party and could I not see that. I explained that I had let about 10 cars go and wasn't to know who was part of the party and who wasn't. She just shouted at me to get out of the way very loudly and rudely and pulled out. I just put my window up and pulled over as I felt a bit shaken. I'm feeling a bit vulnerable anyway at the moment and I hate confrontation. I know that at these times emotions will be heightened, but was I really in the wrong here? They were going to then be pulling out onto a main road where I'm sure they would be seperated by other cars, so you can't all expect to stay together surely?

OP posts:
SaraNade · 23/08/2019 17:07

However this was in the days before sat nav so I had to closely follow the others.

Did people not enquire where the church/hall/service was, and look it up on a street directory map in those days? Funeral processions are simply not done where I am, unless it is a former politician or someone really famous. But whenever we went to funerals, it was the same as weddings. We looked up directions ourselves to the place the function was held in. Maps were handy back then, who knew? shrugs

WillLokireturn · 23/08/2019 17:07

That's ok Iklboo
PPs are getting caught up in one indicator and ignoring the wealth of other indicators, (also not most cars in my area have lights on during the day).

If I can spot funeral progression cars and have done so since childhood, then I doubt I am special. My colleagues and friends can. Didn't know that some MNers find it so hard as the biggest indicator is they are trying to follow the funeral procession !!!

isabellerossignol · 23/08/2019 17:07

No, some cars do. Mostly a minority as standard. Well not here in UK where I live.

I'm in the UK too and I wouldn't say it's a minority at all. It's not all of them, but it's not a small percentage either. Daylight lights have been a thing for years on the luxury brands and have filtered down to even fairly basic cars.

WillLokireturn · 23/08/2019 17:08

And yet few cars have their lights on during the day, so I'd respectfully disagree with you.

isabellerossignol · 23/08/2019 17:09

I've never heard of cars putting their lights on to follow a funeral procession. But then to be honest I've never heard of cars being part of the funeral procession at all, apart from the one or two limos following behind the walking mourners.

SaraNade · 23/08/2019 17:11

Although, there's general a police escort

smh So I guess the police don't have to attend domestics or road accidents or crimes where you are, if they have the time to escort general public funerals (of which there are many each day).

WillLokireturn · 23/08/2019 17:11

It's a bit tiresome when PPs ignore the wealth of other indicators. And want to argue that of course an occasional car might one of those that has lights on daytime anyway. So let them out! What has it cost you??
An extra sneaky car got in there.... 😬🤐 Better to be respectful than accidentally cut in.

Ginnymweasley · 23/08/2019 17:12

Most newer cars even more basic models have daylight running lights. I have also never experienced the idea of cars putting their lights on for a funeral so maybe it's not the norm everywhere in the uk.

WillLokireturn · 23/08/2019 17:13

If your biggest problem is you might let out an extra undeserving car, over cutting into s grieving funeral procession, then your priorities aren't where they should be for a caring society.

isabellerossignol · 23/08/2019 17:14

It's a bit tiresome when PPs ignore the wealth of other indicators

But none of the indicators that you have mentioned are universal. How are people meant to respect traditions that they have never heard of?

isabellerossignol · 23/08/2019 17:16

If your biggest problem is you might let out an extra undeserving car, over cutting into s grieving funeral procession, then your priorities aren't where they should be for a caring society.

That's not what people are saying at all.

WillLokireturn · 23/08/2019 17:16

@Ginnymweasley
No, not all new cars nor basic models. Such a myth and it's not helpful in this thread. Look at all the other indicators
I despair at the pedants. If I can work it out from range of indicators having spotted a funeral procession, ( as I don't think I'm especially gifted), then others surely can!

Ginnymweasley · 23/08/2019 17:16

The dressed up thing confuses me cause surely it depends on what you classify as dressed up and also what the deceased family wanted people to wear. I have been to a funeral where everyone wore pink and one where a lot of people wore football tops.
So on ops instance the woman was wearing a pink top, no flags, no lights etc she had let 10 cars through after the hearse. Most funerals do not have this many cars following the hearse. In fact I have never been to a funeral where more than immediate family followed the hearse.

Ginnymweasley · 23/08/2019 17:17

My husband sells cars for a living but ok I'll tell him that those cars do not have automatic lights.

Ocies · 23/08/2019 17:17

@WillLokireturn I think most of the indicators you describe are a) difficult to spot (smartly dressed - not easy to see from a distance or judge when you can usually only see shoulders up) or b) ambiguous - car lights on (I drive a car which in no way is luxurious and lights are on all the time), being part of a procession, occupants/driver looking desperate to keep up.

I'm a careful driver but I really cannot put my hand on my heart and say I often notice how well dressed other drivers are or what their facial expressions are.

WillLokireturn · 23/08/2019 17:18

@isabellerossignol
It's exactly what some POs are arguing over. Pettiness really. Over funeral processions as someone has died. Try to misdirect as much as you want but it's exactly that.

YesQueen · 23/08/2019 17:19

@WillLokireturn I drive a 2014 polo and that has daytime running lights!

marvellousnightforamooncup · 23/08/2019 17:21

For every funeral service be ever been to (and I've been to loads) the mourners made their own way independently to the crem/church/reception. Close family in limos. I've never heard of lights being put on in cars or huge long processions of randoms following the hearse. What a load of fuss and bollocks.

SaraNade · 23/08/2019 17:24

@WillLokireturn Yet all of your 'indicators' have been debunked thoroughly in this thread. So there are no 'tips' at all, and it is petty and unreasonable to expect someone to know who is and who isn't in the Grand Parade. I think 10 cars is more than any reasonable person would assume was part of. Not even royalty get that many cars in their procession!

SaraNade · 23/08/2019 17:26

marvellousnightforamooncup
For every funeral service be ever been to (and I've been to loads) the mourners made their own way independently to the crem/church/reception. Close family in limos.

Exactly. That is standard all around the world in my understanding.

WillLokireturn · 23/08/2019 17:26

*PPs, not PO

I'm busy trying to get a tent set up, but I'll go back to basics for those arguing petty points.

Funeral, someone died. Funeral procession. Very sad for those following . OP wasn't mean . Made a mistake. Understand that. She's cool. She said thanks for tips.
Bit worrying comments from other PPs . Who don't want/ can't take a moment to look and would rather push ahead. Let someone not in funeral procession sneak infront of them.
No point in arguing with those that can't take a moment to apply logic to the whole picture and want to argue minor issues. Nor be extra patient out of respect.
We have nothing in common. And are unlikely to agree. Respect your views, don't want you to be in my large circle of people. And you wouldn't be as you'd be spotted too quickly.

KungFuPandaWorks · 23/08/2019 17:27

TIL that hearses go so slow because it's letting people stop and show respect and not so the coffin doesn't go flying everywhere Blush

RunsForGummyBears · 23/08/2019 17:28

It would be a lot easier if cars in the UK would put something up to designate then as part of the funeral cortège. But I guess they don't do that, because they aren't given right away so don't need the designation.

I used to drive past a large military cemetery during the war in Afghanistan and saw many military cortèges that had tens of cars. I also saw cars pulled over for overtaking them to closely or cutting in. In most cases it really doesn't cost that much time to be respectful.

WillLokireturn · 23/08/2019 17:28

Nor Let someone not in funeral procession sneak infront of them.
😁😁😆 That totally changed my list!
If that's PPs biggest issue, then step back and reflect please x you are not burying a child, your sibling friend or loved one. Yours is least distressing of the second worst day in others lives. In your community!

coconuttelegraph · 23/08/2019 17:28

I have been to loads of funeral s with police escorts

I have to ask, are you some kind of high ranking dignatory or part of a criminal organisation? How many is loads with police escorts, hundreds?