Just been shouted out by funeral party...

[Pinklady1982]

Aibu to be feeling really upset by this? I was just driving along and a funeral car pulled out slowly from a turning. They had about 10 cars behind it which were possibly all part of the party, so I slowed down and let a load of cars through. Now this was a residential road and I could see some other cars had joined the back of the queue. I started easing forward a bit as if I kept waiting there letting all the cars out I would be there ages and needed to get home, also I wasn't to know if they were all part of the funeral. I had right of way as they were in a side turning, but sat there patiently for a while. Well this lady then rolls down her window and starts shouting at me! Saying they are part of the funeral party and could I not see that. I explained that I had let about 10 cars go and wasn't to know who was part of the party and who wasn't. She just shouted at me to get out of the way very loudly and rudely and pulled out. I just put my window up and pulled over as I felt a bit shaken. I'm feeling a bit vulnerable anyway at the moment and I hate confrontation. I know that at these times emotions will be heightened, but was I really in the wrong here? They were going to then be pulling out onto a main road where I'm sure they would be seperated by other cars, so you can't all expect to stay together surely?

I have been to loads of funeral s with police escorts .
The police block all the roads to let us get to the graveyard ,believe it or not it cause less traffic jams .

At my dd's funeral the priest asked everyone going to the cemetery from the chapel NOT to wait for the hearse and family cars(3) to leave.
The police stopped the traffic to let them all leave together.
We sat outside the chapel for 20mins.
It meant everyone was at the cemetery when we arrived.

Id have joined the traffic as well and probably given her words for being so rude.

Grieving or not, she should have manners.

Then she could have been someone who gies to everyone’s funeral for free grub. I know plenty who do that😛

It amazes me how self-absorbed some are. Who really wants to be following a hearse and staring at a coffin in the back? Seems morbid to me. The hearse is merely transporting the coffin somewhere. It is not necessary for people to follow straight after. Even if you are into that sort of thing, the funeral limo carrying the immediate family members is quite sufficient. There is no need for a 'grand parade' of more cars than that.

That, for me, epitomises the nasty, small-minded side of Mn -- 'This is what I think and everyone else should think it too, otherwise they're morbid/'grief show offs'' to 'go in for that sort of thing.'

The comment about self-absorption is actually pretty funny in this context, though, I'll admit.

Funeral processions are told to keep going through red lights and other traffic has to wait.

How would that work at a busy junction that wasn't light controlled?

A few years ago I was at my Uncle's funeral and driving my car with two other relatives as passengers. After leaving the church we had to drive to the cemetery where he was being buried but to get there we had to turn right on to a busy main road. We quickly got separated from the front of the procession and I had no idea where the cemetery was and one of my passengers had only the sketchiest of ideas. It took a few wrong turns and a couple of stopping for directions before we found the right place and then only just got to the graveside in time.

You let out 10 cars. Just because she shouted she was part of the funeral cortège doesn't mean she actually was. She could just have got impatient herself, blocked behind the slow cortège and wanted to at least get out of the sidestreet.

My grandfather had a police escort to his funeral, he lived in rural NI and there were well over 600 people at the funeral. The police helped the traffic get the procession from the church to the cemetery 2 miles away.

I just want to add my sincere condolences to those who have also lost close family members. In case it wasn't picked up in a pp, I lost my dad last year, so I know the heartache, anger, devastation etc that people experience. I've felt ever so along over this last year and haven't had a great support network, hence the reason I'm already very vulnerable. It's good to know this forum is here to give you a different perspective on things sometimes. Thank you to each and every one of you for taking the time out of your day to post. It really does mean a lot to me.

@Pinklady1982 sorry to hear about your dad. You done nothing wrong, please don't worry xxx

Glad you have repeated your question @CalishataFolkart I too would like a more specific answer from @WillLokireturn

Funeral processions are told to keep going through red lights and other traffic has to wait.

What the?!?? That is absolutely bloddy ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous. Let me guess; it's in America, right? So what if an ambulance comes screeching past with sirens, does the ambulance and even police have to wait? Such self-serving nonsense. I am so glad we don't have that where I live. Multiple funerals happen every single day. Traffic cannot stop for that!

Thank you so much xx

Wait til you (hopefully never or much later and not soon) have a tragic death of a much loved one in your world and then reflect, hopefully you might be more patient and understanding of a minor in inconvenience to you routine day then.

Do you know the personal circumstances of every poster?

I think the woman was just rude, grieving or not. Grieving doesn't give you the freedom to be obnoxious.

My mum specified that as well! She made the decision after she was late for a chemotherapy session because the bus to the station was held up behind a cortège meaning she missed the train.

This is proof of how utterly self-serving these 'cortege's are. People missing out on chemo appointments. Ambulances being held up. All for a Grand Parade. It's absolute nonsense. And I am sure the deceased would not want to hold up someone on the way to hospital for chemotherapy, or an ambulance.

Oh OP how were you to know? You did your best, let it go. The woman must have been an ass or deeply troubled. Or both.

As to the procession, for both my DM and DF we gathered as an extended family at their house, and, as well as the hearse and black cars there were quite a number of regular cars following. Neighbors too. It felt so right to be escorting them both to their funeral. The extra cars carried grandchildren and their spouses, cousins, nieces and nephews. Important people, grieving as much as the rest of us in the official cars. One white van did attempt to get between our first black car and the hearse, but our driver quietly managed it. If only he had 'managed' my 'D'Sis who was blithely chatting away like she was off to the shops! That's a whole other story though.

I live in Trumpville, and respect the system here of putting a giant banner on the windscreen of every car in the procession. It is hell to get the sticky residue off, but tells people just like OP what they need to know.

@CalishataFolkart
I've said the same thing repeatedly. Funeral procession car have those many indicators, including following the procession(!) , dressed up passengers, no matter what colour, lights on low, are full and desperate to follow (you can tell as they edge out), they are likely to point or wave too. Not many cars have lights on during the day, some do some don't, some.might have flags some not depending on culture, but if they do, is hesitate incase it was funeral procession having just let one out!!
If you see a funeral procession give way and think might they still be part of that? We had flowers and ribbons on dashboard of each car. As I said before, I would exercise caution and be patient rather than think "well it's my right of way!"

As a result unseen to be able to tell and I don't think I have a third eye!

Because that's what careful drivers do. They don't get inpatient, they understand and are mindful.

Same as it's my right of way on the road but children playing near the road that I can see, might dash out. So I slow down and watch.

I'm surprised that cars is a funeral procession are not identified in some way. Magnetic flags are used on this side of the pond.

*Not many cars have lights on during the day as standard but funeral procession cars usually do.

Sorry, dd2 is trying to get tent out, so I didn't check my post, rather busy here

As a result I have been able to tell and I don't think I have a third eye!

As people keep pointing out @WillLokireturn - most cars have running lights on now. Very, very few people here put their headlights on for a funeral.

Not many cars have lights on during the day as standard but funeral procession cars usually do.

Many cars do.

@CanadianJohn that's a good idea!

Sorry, that sounded really snotty. I didn't mean it how it looks.

@PrimalLass
No, some cars do. Mostly a minority as standard. Well not here in UK where I live.

So if there's no lights, no waving, no ribbons, no flowers, at what point would you deem it acceptable to pull out? I've never seen flowers or ribbons apart from on the hearse and the limo, the lights is irrelevant, too many cars have these now. Smartly dressed occupants? Could be people in professional jobs, celebrating a birthday at a nice restaurant, just going for lunch.

At what point can one pull out?