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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if you work part time it’s obvious you won’t have as much money as someone who works full time!!??

79 replies

Backtosxhool · 22/08/2019 16:41

I am fed up of this...having a rant! SIL is always saying “oh it’s well for you!” Because we go on holidays, have the house extended etc etc
I work full time!! As does dh (nearly 70 per week sometimes)
She works....15 hours!!! Well of course she’s bloody broke she barely works a day a week WHAT does she expect! And her dh is the same...works 25 hours and that’s it! Won’t take on overtime!! They are constantly saying “oh well you have money!” Its alright for you when your well paid!! I am going to go insane!! I’m sorry but I know some ppl have it tough, but we work all the hours we can (we have 2 dc too) and save as much as we can. They don’t even TRY yet I am the one expected to feel bad! Aibu here!! Preparing to be flamed but I really am just fed up!!! They have no dc by the way...but...they are TTC! (A whooole other thread)

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/08/2019 16:42

Not necessarily. Mu SIL earns more working part time than her DH does full time.

Original poster
Backtosxhool · 22/08/2019 16:44

They are both on min wage...but the point is surely if you work 15 hours and you want more money then you work more hours!!!

OP posts:
BuildBuildings · 22/08/2019 16:46

15 hours is 2 days work for most BTW. What you seem to be saying is they aren't working hard enough so have no right to moan?

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 22/08/2019 16:47

I don't think that's necessarily true. SILs set up sounds similar to me and DH.
Part of the reason for us was to work around each other and minimise the need for childcare.
If I was to go full time right now, we'd have the same income but be perilously dependant on tax credits for childcare costs.
When the youngest goes to school, it will be a financial game changer.

5foot5 · 22/08/2019 16:48

YANBU but have you ever tried pointing this out to her rather than silently seething?

SIL: "Oh it's Ok for you , you have money"
You: "Yup, so could you if you if you were prepared to work for it"

Bit blunt but if you are that fed up with it it might be worth it.

Winsomelosesome · 22/08/2019 16:48

"oh well you have money" - yes because we both work full-time, repeat every time she comments. I have the opposite problem with a colleague, I work part-time and she always makes comments like, alright for some having a day off in the week. Erm I do actually only get paid for part-time hours, feel free to drop your hours and take the pay cut that comes with it, twat.

Ritascornershop · 22/08/2019 16:49

Hard to say. They may have done the math and decided that after commuting costs, child care, income tax, possible loss of some low income benefits that they aren’t financially much better off and are knackered and their kids are short of parental time. When my kids were young and I was divorced I worked 24 hours a week. The extra ten hours would have exhausted me (I have chronic migraines) & on my low income the tiny bit of extra money wouldn’t have made much of a difference.

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 22/08/2019 16:49

Run my own business....never ceases to amaze me how many staff moan that they have no money, yet refuse to work more hours. Drives me batshit

Floopily · 22/08/2019 16:50

I thought you were perhaps the new manager of a woman I used to work with....after her first child she came back to work part time and was furious she wasn't paid her previous full time salary. No one could get through to her less hours = less money, she complained to the head of HR about the unfairness of it all!

Greatnorthwoods · 22/08/2019 16:51

OP I get your point, it sounds like they have plenty of wiggle room to improve there situation.

It sounds like you work hard fleshy you have and you should be proud of that.

TheBadCop · 22/08/2019 16:52

not necessarily. depends on what your hourly rate is surely? I know plenty of people who earn more in an hour than I do in a day. also, working part time goes usually hand on hand with other savings (e.g. less childcare costs).

Original poster
Backtosxhool · 22/08/2019 16:53

They don’t have DC!! Confused yes i have suggested to her to get more hours, better pay but it’s always met with a “ well I’ve tried” “oh I would be too tired” and the best one was “ but we’re TTC so I don’t want to overwork myself” HmmAngry

OP posts:
Winsomelosesome · 22/08/2019 16:53

It says in the OP that the SIL doesn't have children/childcare costs Hmm

Azeema · 22/08/2019 16:54

I make more money working PT than my DH at his FT job. But would never look down on him. I feel sorry for him as he work very hard.
Sometimes good job is hard to find.
May not be easy find job with more hours for same or better pay. Depends where you live. What certificates you have. Health. Even if you have car or not!

ButterflyOne1 · 22/08/2019 16:55

If they have no DC, they are just lazy sh*ts. Don't complain about having no money unless you're prepared to work hard for it.

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 22/08/2019 16:56

next time SIL says its allright for you just reply yeah it is...and shut the conversation down.Dont try to justify to her anything..let her sail her own ship and you do the same.Dont make her your problem.

LatteLove · 22/08/2019 16:57

YANBU but have you ever tried pointing this out to her rather than silently seething?

This. Call her out on it if she starts again

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 22/08/2019 16:58

I don't actually think it makes a difference if you live the life of Riley doing no work at all living off investments and she works 50 hours a week. It soon wears very thin if a major theme of her conversation is "it's alright for some". There's not a lot you can do about it, and you would have no reason to feel guilty. I'd be inclined to minimise contact.

CalamityJune · 22/08/2019 16:58

Yanbu

AryaStarkWolf · 22/08/2019 16:59

@Ritascornershop she said they don't have any children

Original poster
Backtosxhool · 22/08/2019 16:59

Shes not exactly the most approachable person, 😬 she gets a tad confrontational in those situations which I don’t like. I suppose I’ll just silently Seeth! As I said they are TTC and I just don’t think with her being so confrontational and irritable that having DC is a good idea! Sad

OP posts:
Chocolateandamaretto · 22/08/2019 17:00

I understand that you are frustrated with your SIL and it sounds like that is not just about this issue. I understand that when people expect the world on a plate and are jealous of you because they simply cannot conceive of how hard you work that it is infuriating. I have been there with my BILs ex who really did seem to expect money to fall in her lap and that we’d figured out how to make that happen and we were keeping it from her.

However, more broadly I think YABU, as I work 15 hours a week and if I worked full time i’d Take home a similar amount once you took off childcare. Equally if my DH worked 15 hours he’d earn more than my full time salary. People sometimes want to work more but can’t get the hours, or want to work more but have health issues the prevent that, some people work very hard in important fields that simply pay like shit and they are too burned out to work full time. Taking a pay rise might bump up your tax or student loan payments and make it not particularly worth working more hours as well. It’s a pretty black and white way to view the world to assume that more hours = more money.

Thegracefuloctopus · 22/08/2019 17:00

I was about to say yabu until you said they have no kids. No kids and they are moaning about having no money when they work part time?!!!! And they're ttc?! With no money?! Bloody hell. Enjoy what you earn op. And when they do have a child, expect to have hints dropped that you should take them on holiday with you etc

HypatiaCade · 22/08/2019 17:00

Just respond with 'I choose to work more days to have more pay, you choose to have less pay and work less days. Isn't it so nice that we can both choose what we want to have?!'

flashingbeacon · 22/08/2019 17:01

My sister got this when she could pay off her mortgage ... after her husband died and his death in service paid out. Her best pal wouldn’t shut up about how easy it would be without a mortgage, as if she wouldn’t give it all back if it meant her she wasn’t a widow.