To think that if you work part time it’s obvious you won’t have as much money as someone who works full time!!??

[Backtosxhool]

I am fed up of this...having a rant! SIL is always saying “oh it’s well for you!” Because we go on holidays, have the house extended etc etc
I work full time!! As does dh (nearly 70 per week sometimes)
She works....15 hours!!! Well of course she’s bloody broke she barely works a day a week WHAT does she expect! And her dh is the same...works 25 hours and that’s it! Won’t take on overtime!! They are constantly saying “oh well you have money!” Its alright for you when your well paid!! I am going to go insane!! I’m sorry but I know some ppl have it tough, but we work all the hours we can (we have 2 dc too) and save as much as we can. They don’t even TRY yet I am the one expected to feel bad! Aibu here!! Preparing to be flamed but I really am just fed up!!! They have no dc by the way...but...they are TTC! (A whooole other thread)

I know of someone like this, always trying to freeload get a favour from other people regarding meals out, drinks, lifts because the other people are "lucky" to have a car that they bought, taxed and filled with fuel with their own money but she only works 3 days a week. (No DC or health issues)

Have you tried saying something similar every time she has time to do something on one of her days off?

I'd just say "Well, yes. And we work full time to earn it". Put a little emphasis on 'full time'. And if she comes back with excuses just say "That's your decision then, to have less money. Ours is to work full time and have more". Rinse, repeat, and change subject.

One thing I'd do though is avoid any discussion of money and 'who has what' or 'who's going where'. The best way to avoid her comments is to avoid the topics she comments on.

Just keep repeating you work full time and she doesn’t.

I’d be spending less time with her if that’s the sort of comments she makes. If she’s tired after two days work then how on earth will she juggle children as well

I wouldn't have any sympathy either. She isn't just moaning, she's comparing her situation with yours. She's made her choices, you've made yours. Enjoy your choices - you've earned them!

I had a staff member like this. Always moaning about how hard up she was and how her life was a struggle but only worked three days a week from choice. No I’ll-health, no child care. I asked her if she wanted more hours, which I could easily have given her. Oh no, shock! Didn’t want to work more hours.

YANBU. They don’t have children so really should be working full time. I’ve never known anyone willingly work part time unless they were a student or had children.

Maybe, specifically, your SIL is a lazy whiner. However, how well aware are you of the difficulties faced by low-income, low-skilled people? Some employers make sure they keep individual staff members' hours down to a certain number a week because otherwise they would have to give them more rights or a higher pay grade. Some employers promise more hours but they rarely materialise, yet staff are supposed to be permanently available (I'm not sure if this is still legal but some companies used to have contract clauses which prohibited staff taking on any other work, yet did not guarantee them enough hours to earn a living wage.) Changing jobs might mean a long, difficult and expensive commute for not much more money, or the only jobs available might be too distasteful (and not much more money).

There is no inherent virtue in being employed - you are usually there first and foremost to enrich the company's shareholders. And these days, more than ever, low-skilled work involves low pay and, often, shitty conditions, so those who reject it are not unreasonable.

It doesn't sound as though she's saying it's unfair, just that she's observing that you have more money and you do.

I had someone say to me the other day they wish they had more money, they work part time so I asked why they didn’t work full time, they said because the dog likes a walk in the afternoon aswell as his morning and evening walk and that’s the reason they can’t work full time even though her dp doesn’t work so is home all day 🤔

I wouldn’t tolerate this. Since they both work part time and don’t have children there is no excuse.

A simple “don’t want to hear it, if you worked the hours we do you could have it too, your choice”

Rise and repeat and hopefully food for thought for her.

YANBU. She’s just jealous.

Maybe she doesn't want any more money. Maybe she is just saying 'no, we aren't going out for dinner because we can't afford it. You can afford it so go.' That doesn't mean she wants more money. There are plenty of things we can't afford because I'm a SAHP and that is fine. We would rather we had a SAHP than go to an expensive restaurant but it would still be okay to tell my bro and SIL that we weren't going to an expensive restaurant with them because it was out of our budget. Why should they work more if they already work and can afford what they want? Can they no longer say they can't afford something because she works pt? If you said you couldn't afford to go away to Paris (or wherever) with your friends would you be pleased if they turned round and said in that case you should work more? Money isn't everything. Saying you can't afford something and that the other person should go ahead as they can afford it does not mean you are moaning. It is just stating facts.

Run my own business....never ceases to amaze me how many staff moan that they have no money, yet refuse to work more hours.

It's not worth it if they're on a low enough income to qualify for benefits. Especially if they're already earning at or close to the personal allowance for tax.

If they earn £10 extra, that will be £6.80 after deducting tax and NI. Out of that £6.80, housing benefit or universal credit will claw back 63%, so roughly £4.40. They'll only be about £2.50 better off, even if they don't have any extra childcare costs.

I wouldn't work an extra hour for £2.50, and that's without factoring in the fuck-up factor of losing UC the month after they've spent the extra income, or housing benefit taking weeks to adjust the amount down and then weeks to put it back up again, leaving them short of money and unable to pay their rent.

Even without being on benefits, people can end up being worse off doing more hours. When my colleague came back from maternity leave, she was no worse off doing 3 days a week than doing 5, because she didn't have to make student loan repayments and saved 2 days childcare. By the time she factored in another 2 days-worth of petrol, she'd have been working those days for nothing.

YANBU. If she wants holidays and nice things, she needs to make different choices that support those goals. Complaining isn't doing good for anyone, you or her.

YANBU this would really irritate me too.

Unlike a PP I don't see any reason why people without children shouldn't work part time if they choose to. But don't then go and moan about having less money if you're not prepared to put the hours in.

I only work part-time, but then I'm pushing 60 and not in the greatest of health. DH is older than me and has a heart condition, self-employed and sets his own hours and he only does part-time as well. Between us, we decided that quality of life came before money. It is a struggle sometimes, but at least we aren't completely knackered all the time.

If you choose to work reduced hours, then you have to like it or lump it financially.

I work 19 hours a week and earn more than people who work a full time job on minimum wage. I am lucky that I have a good hourly rate although it hasn't gone up in the last 3 years. I could up my hours in two years if the preschool funded hours increases where we live but I probably won't as I like the work life balance that I have.

YANBU! I work in childcare and I’m self employed, I work 38 hours a week, 47 weeks a year and the harder I work, (ie the more children I look after) the more I get paid. The past couple of years, I’ve taken on the amount of children I can have in my ratios and I’m paid a good income for doing this.
I’ve got a few friends who are teaching Assistants and other school support staff, who get paid for the hours they work (15/30/35 hours depending on contracts) a few extra weeks for holiday pay. I’m fed up of listening to them moan about how little money they have. They don’t seem to understand that they need to do more hours to up their income. Apparently they can’t work in the holidays (a couple of holiday clubs were advertising for qualified staff) because they are to exhausted from all the term time TA work. I don’t think they get that the majority of people don’t work 15 hours a week term time only, how ever much they would like to do those hours.
I would love to do the job of a TA- the holidays would be great, but we can’t afford the drop in pay, so I stay doing what I do. I try not to comment about it now as it leads to rows but it does frustrate some of us that they can’t see that if they need more money they have to work more hours.

I'm currently having to go PT as my part time course I'm doing is ridiculously hard on a full time job. So much so I was falling asleep completing my assignments.

Some people have no choice.

But like other pps have said... Call her out on it next time.

I would say gosh yes but it must be so nice to only have to work 15hrs a week.

Ffs she doesnt have kids! Tell her she'll haveno money then once she has dc thatg will shut her up

Enjoy your choices - you've earned them!

This, a hundred times over. And this is what it all boils down to - choices.

Unfortunately, I can predict a whole load of CFery on the horizon once the child they are choosing to have arrives. I suspect you will be asked for all kinds of equipment/toys/clothes/presents so it could be useful to consider how you would respond to such requests.

@GabsAlot yes I think she thinks a baby won’t cost money and isn’t worried because she’ll get child benefit! (Like that covers the costs )
I have sold on pretty much all of my baby stuff as my youngest is 5 so I don’t have anything to give. And she doesn’t give my dc’s birthday or Christmas gifts because.... “well they have enough, what with you having money n all!” and so my dh (SIL’s brother) has stated we will get a new baby gift and that is it!

she sounds really immature