Does anyone like their MIL?!

[cinnamoned]

A bit lighthearted really, I get the impression that many people on here can’t stand their MILs and I was just thinking, if my DH thought those things about my mother, or didn’t want my mother to come for Christmas, I would be upset. So I suppose I always said I would be kind to my MIL from the get go.

AIBU to ask if anyone actually gets on with their MIL?

I do but then again, MIL, DHs Ex wife and I go on city breaks around Europe 2/3 times a year together so I’m quite odd

My MiL drove me nuts I think she was a bit bonkers, but she had endured some awful things in life & she loved her dc’s & grandchildren so I sort of learned to let a lot of stuff go over my head & not take to heart some of her behaviour & I think before she died we probably actually rubbed along pretty well, my Dh really loved my parents & was as bereft as me when they died.
I get on really well with my son-in-law, I know he appreciates the help we give to them & dgd, I’m lucky enough to live very near so see them a lot we also go on holiday together every year.

Mine was lovely and I feel quite robbed by her passing away so quickly after I moved in with DP, she was genuinely kind, incredibly funny (even if she didn’t always mean to be) honest and caring.

Mine is lovely. I don't see her that often but she's always been kind and nice to me and she loves my kids. I think people often seem very intolerant of their husbands families.

Yes

I love mine! She's awesome!!

I adored mine. She taught me how to be a great MIL. I nursed her through her last few weeks with cancer so she was able to stay home. It was an honour.

Yes I love mine! She is the best!

I love mine (well, soon to be MIL). She is as mad as a box of frogs and I LOVE that about her. She's super chatty and friendly and will do anything for anyone. Goes out of her way for us. I don't drive and DP works away sometimes so she will always check on me to ask if I need driving to the shops or some company and will often drives 30mins for a cuppa just to keep me company. Absolutely lovely woman. If me and DP ever split I'm going to ask for custody!

She was a better grandma to DC than a MIL to me. I didn't meet her standards of cleanliness or ethnicity.
However she's definitely improved since she popped off

I love mine

My MIL is amazing - she’s sheltered, never been abroad, doesn’t drive, finds technology perplexing and is slightly old-fashioned but such a laugh and adored by all in our village. I am a complete oddity in her world - with my degree, career, middle class upbringing - but she’s never treated me as anything less than close family.

She and FIL have DD four days a week for free, and practically beg to have her overnight regularly. Does everything exactly my way, doesn’t interfere but equally happy to offer advice. DD holds her arms out to her and squeals in delight when I drop her off, and this is the child who sobs at nursery drop off once a week.

Yes, MIL can be nosey and frustratingly focussed on family tradition etc, but I wouldn’t change her for the world.

No, mine has behaved badly over the years and I cut myself off from her. She's not as terrible as some on here, but there have been moments she's hurt me and the older I get the less happy I am to be treated unkindly by anyone, especially someone who wants me to consider them family.

My Ex MIL is incredible. We've remained in touch since Ex and I split, she's had regular contact with DS1 because of our relationship and she's only ever been lovely. My other DS adores her and she adores both DC. Life throws great MILs at you and terrible MILs at you - it's all chance. I just had my great one first.

I adored mine. Notice past tense as she died recently. I miss her so much.

I get on well with mine most of the time, she is from a different generation and I try to respect that. However, she does favour her first grandchild over my children and that has created some distance. I like her as a person and respect her as my dh's beloved mum and gran to my kids. I will ask her for advice with regards to the kids but would not discuss my health issues or anything on a deeper level with her. I do not love her though as I do my own mum. I do love fil though, he has always embraced me as a daughter and made an effort to really get to know me as a person. I think you just click with some people more than others.

My MIL, died 5 years ago. She was a sweetheart. Never interfered once in our then 25 years of marriage. We had some wonderful holidays together and her only GC was the light of her life. Miss her every day.

HATE my MIL, my SIL also hates her though so its her not us 😁

She has taught me a lot though for if DS ever had a wife! 😉

I don't dislike my MIL but I do wish she were easier to get on with! I don't like living with the cliche of 'difficult MIL' but there it is.

She didn't like me at all to start off with and kept trying to fix DH up with women who went to public schools and worked in the City but once we got engaged she came round to me. I was really hurt by her rejecting me , not that I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread, I was just used to people getting on with one another!

It wasn't a classic case of 'you're not good enough for my little prince' and more 'I'm worried my little prince isn't good enough and you're not the one to make him good enough'

I get on well enough with mine. She's lovely, generous and patient with the dcs. Dh is a helpless mummy's boy though at 45 which annoys me, and shes never actually ever got on the floor to play with the children, has had them for sleepovers though. Meanwhile my mum does a lot to help us (housework, ironing etc) and has always spent much more time with my dcs, very hands on although has never had them overnight, which I don't blame her for. She's very opinionated though and as much as I love her and I'm grateful for all she does she is hard work and can be much snappier with the kids than my MIL. Swings and roundabouts, no one is perfect and we're lucky we have my mum and the ILS local.

Absolutely not !

Not a fan of mine. I dislike some things she did to DH when he was a child and she isn’t very nice to me. She also doesn’t seem to care about her grandkids (my kids). She hasn’t seen or spoken to them since last September, not through any decision of ours.

I had a lovely MIL.She only had one son but she wasn't precious about him ,and although we were quite different in lots of ways I never felt judged or unable to chat about anything.I still miss her.Sadly my DD doesn't have the support I had with her children from her MIL.

Mine is lovely. Bonkers, but lovely.

Mines wonderful, couldn’t ask for anything better.

Really amazing that so many people have such fond & loving relationships with their MIL.
I can't imagine describing my relationship with my MIL like that. I try my best to get on with her, have patience and respect, but there is always a niggle between us that means I can't say I love her, yet, but maybe one day.
She really loves her sons but I find her behaviour overbearing, often making adult decisions for them, an example was insisting on viewing houses with them when she decided it was time they got on the housing ladder. I'm an independent character, and get on great with my parents, but they have let me grow into an adult and live my life as I choose, with their full support. I often think my DH reverts to quite childlike behaviour when around her, as she loves to mother & fuss round him. There have been several occasions when important decisions about our lives have been discussed with MIL instead of me (borrowing money from MIL, vetoing houses when we were looking to buy, setting up a savings account for our baby) and I feel like she forgets that we're adults aged in our mid 30's (and I think DH forgets that he's married!).
After 6 years with my DH, I've realised she is very insecure around me and is desperate for me to like her, so I do make an effort. Now that we have a baby, I'm extra careful to let her know she is welcome to be in our lives. However, I find she often talks to me like a child, and tells me things about my baby as if I am an idiot, but I bite my tongue and try to stay calm until we leave. I had a lightbulb moment today when picking up baby from nursery: his key worker said 'I'm sure you'll know that your baby likes...' it made me feel like she recognised me as a mother and it felt good. On the other hand my MIL will tell me stuff about my baby as if she knows him better and I'm an idiot that hasn't noticed, while I tell her that yes indeed I know that, the whole time I'm with her I feel like I'm constantly trying to set the record straight, bat away patronising comments and keep boundaries. It just makes for a low level stress/constant niggling feeling where I can't feel relaxed around her.

My MIL is amazing. She is supportive without being controlling and her help doesn't come with strings attached. I love her dearly and now she finds getting out difficult, I am happy to go round regularly and help out because I want to return the support.