How do you come to terms with being screwed out of £60,000?!!

[greatbritishknee]

I have posted about this before under a different user name - just in case anyone recognises the story - things have progressed further now though.

I am genuinely looking for any wise words that might help me see this whole situation in a more positive light or just help me navigate a way forward.

We had an extension built earlier this year - and I know that to own a house and be doing an extension already makes me someone who has been incredibly lucky in the general lottery of life.

We borrowed 50K from the bank which was the max we could (on top of our mortgage) according to our salaries so there is no possibility of borrowing more for a long time.

Throughout the build the relationship with the builder broke down completely as he got furious with us for ever questioning or complaining about anything. At the end of of the build he sent us a final invoice but we sent back a snagging list and also the requirement for the final building control inspection (having found out he had not organised any of the interval inspections with building control in spite of telling us he had both verbally and it was in his contract to do so).

He went mad at us and started making threats if we don't pay him all the money and has carried out some of these threats including contacting my place of work and telling them I am mentally unstable and have post natal depression and am aggressive and volatile (our second child was born prematurely during the build and we also have a just turned 2 year old), he contacted social services and told them the same, that we were a risk to our children and my husband is abusive. He contacted the GMC and told them I was not safe to see patients (I am a doctor). He has threatened to contact my husband employers with similar and also my Dad's. He has threatened to send bailiffs round. He has told us he wants us to lose everything including our home. Just for the record there is absolutely no basis to any of his assertions about our character.

It was hell. Eventually we got the police involved and the harassment side of things has now stopped. Nothing has come of any of his accusations as they are all baseless but it was a terrifying time - never knowing what his next move might be.

Now he has backed off but cut a long story short it turns out he did a terrible job of the build - to the extent that it will have to be knocked down and re-built. No part of it complies with building regs not least the foundations are not deep enough. He told us he was getting building control in but he wasn't. Quotes for the re-build are coming in at £60,000 plus but we won't be able to afford to this for a long time - this means we are tied to the house and the area until we can which was not our plan.

I know we will eventually cobble the money together through a few years of hard saving and contributions from family and we are incredibly lucky to be in the position to do that. But I can't get my head round all the other things we could have done with that money - not least for our children. I can't believe how hard he went after us - and me in particular - having recently given birth - and all along he had completely screwed the whole thing up. We will have to change the way we live for the next few years to save the money.

The reason I am posting today is because we finally found out for sure there is no point in pursuing him for the money - he is personally liable but doesn't seem to have any assets - so we would win in court but never actually get the money.

Can anyone help me frame this in a more positive light? I know I am so fortunate in SO many ways - I just need to get my head around this so I can move on. Anyone got any stories of having been though similar and come out the other side?

I’m sorry for what you have gone through. Saying that , as far as I am aware , building control works on behalf of you , not your builder. I was told to contact them myself even if the builder offers. They are there to make sure on your behalf that all building work is done to spec.
Check if he has public liability insurance. Most trades people do. They may pay out

@yabloooo and others asking if it might be as bad as all that - believe me that's what I am holding out hope for and why we have asked our family friend to come and have a look.

According to the initial survey - the major points (ie those factors that are contrary to building regs - there is loads of other stuff inanition) are:

Foundations not deep enough
cavity wall too narrow in side walls
no cavity to rear wall
not enough insulation in cavity wall
no or not enough wall ties
ground floor formed from boarding on timber joists on a sand bedding - no air bricks around the perimeter - inadequate ventilation
no floor insulation
something about roof rafter that I don't really understand but basically fails to complete with minimum building regs
windows leak because roof is not at correct pitch for the windows - he has now glued the windows shut in an attempt to stop them leaking (but they still leak)
flashing at roof junction not high enough
no gas or electrical safety certificates
washing machine incorrectly plumbed

there's loads more... its so depressing reading it

@Passthecherrycoke

Exactly this

@Ken1976

Yup - wish we'd known this - it was definitely an oversight on out behalf. He told us he would sort it and we had no reason not believe him. I even googled if it was normal to leave BC to the contractor and overwhelmingly that seemed to be what people do.

You can use your Union for non work legal advice, they usually give an hour for free.

We had some cowboys in too. Funnily enough though, they seem to have folded.

Did you go to the police about the malicious behaviour?

Can only suggest checking you home insurance to see if that might cover you for some of this, eg legal cover? Shocking story and so sorry.

I've taken someone's advice and preparing an application to DIYSOS even though I don't think we really fit the bill of what they are looking for so I'm not holding out any hope.

Reluctant to go to watchdog or similar for fear of repercussions from him but also want to protect any future potential clients from being screwed by him so it's a hard one. He is very personable and comes across as very intelligent on first meeting him - he certainly pulled the wool over our eyes! In fact I kept telling people what a nice bloke he was for the first few weeks til we started to see the real him.

I know that NPD is bandied around on MN a LOT - but it exactly describes his behaviour. If he doesn't have it he certainly has that personality type.

We had a shitty building extension experience but we did get the botched work sorted eventually by another firm and 9 years later we sold up and moved. It was good to leave that house as I could finally let go of the awful horrors we’d endured from Crap Builder.

However, about 4 years after the initial dodgy build and whilst we were still living there, I bumped into one of the workmen he’d employed. He was a young bloke and related to Crap Builder (nephew, I think). Thankfully, he was now working for someone else but he remembered me and told me that when Crap Builder had returned from his Spanish Villa, he was arrested at the Airport for VAT fraud and was currently residing at her Majesty’s pleasure.

I went to bed and slept really well that night!

Were any independent contractors involved in the work or was it all labour hired and paid by him? Plumbers, electricians, carpenters, dry wallers?

What mortgage insurance do you have? (Do you have mortgage insurance?)

What did your mortgage lender require in terms of insurance for the builder or the work?

Does he rent his house from a close relative...

@SconeofDestiny

This is literally the dream!

I’m sorry-that truly sucks. I too have been ripped off by a builder before (in a much smaller way) and I know how infuriating it is. Your builder sounds like he has a personality disorder and I agree there is no point pursuing him for the money. It might be worth badmouthing him online to give future potential customers a heads up.

At the end of the day I think that it will behoove you to let it go, move on and e grateful for the things you have that are way more important. Being the way he is, this builder will not have a harmonious and happy life. You and your family can.

It’s more important to be a good person than it is to win every battle. It will balance up in the end.

Here’s a totally random story but my dad got massively ripped off (by a business partner) and was extremely stressed about being in his 60s having lost all of his savings. Then another family member came into a lot of money, remembered how my dad has helped her in the past and gave him a few million pounds. If my dad has been a horrible person, that wouldn’t have happened to him.

Be a good person and you’ll end up better off in the end. Maybe not always financially but in the ways that matter.

PS I’m a licensed therapist and I definitely think he has NPD! Incidentally so does the person who ripped my dad off (in my opinion).

The classic trait is zero empathy, plus a pattern of grandiosity and a need for admiration.

Check your household insurance cover to see if you have legal expenses cover, that should cover a claim against the builder. Once you get a judgement against him there are all sorts of ways to enforce it including attaching an order to his bank account, putting a charge on any property he owns etc. have you done a land registry search against his house to check who owns it?
When you get the new builders in have a look at using the JCT Homeowner's Contract (look it up online) it sets out in very clear language who should do what, and when, in a housebuild/extension works.

I think this is a really traumatic thing you have gone through and I'm really sorry this has happened.

What you have gone through is bound to have taken a toll on your mental well-being, as it would anyone in this situation. Whilst there are practical things you can do, as suggested by others on here, I also think you should consider accessing some counselling sessions to help you work through this.

I don't think I could come to terms with this type of thing without it.

This might be tricky with your job, but you could go private or travel our your direct area to access it.

I would pursue this through the courts. It should not be expensive and you will likely win by default when he doesn't engage with the proceedings. This will protect you and your husband from further baseless accusations as these will clearly stem from an unrelated civil dispute. Once you have a County Court Judgement against him, he will struggle to borrow money. You can then hand over the debt to a debt recovery agency who will pursue him regularly for anything he has now or in the future. For example, if he has a television, they will turn up one day and take that for auction (£50). If he buys a car, it's gone. Christmas presents? Gone. This can continue until he declares bankruptcy, which will make it very hard for him to run a business. It is also possible that he will have solid assets in the future (business takes off, he rips off someone else for a lot of money, wins the lottery, etc) in which case you might see it again. Importantly, this will stop him from getting away with it and simply moving on to do the same thing to someone else.

I might not feel this vindictive if it were just shoddy workmanship but I would feel a need to respond to attempts to bully my family.

Oh my god that’s terrifying. Also don’t feel you have to continually justify how “lucky” you are etc, what he’s done is fucking awful.

We have just experienced something similar but not as horrific as your experience. He did become very aggressive over money though we paid everything on time. A horrible man. Our builder wanted cash- did yours? If so report him to HMRC.

i feel for you. We also had a nightmare builder. We've since had to completely redo our two bathrooms, where all the stone tiles were falling off the walls (two small children so not exactly safe) and floors. The kitchen floor has beautiful sandstone tiles which are all loose and bounce about when you walk on them, which we've not been able to afford to fix yet. Lots of other issues too, but not quite as bad as yours sounded.

He threatened me verbally and physically when I asked why the tiles were cracking off the walls. He also went bankrupt before the job was finished which meant we had to repay for a quarter of the kitchen work to get done by somebody else. Horrific. He got away scot free with thousands of our savings.

Trading Standards have the power to bring a criminal prosecution so do report.
Will your household insurance pay for you to sue him? It usually includes legal cover.

How awful. I would try and think well st least we have our health and our children’s health quite a few friends and friends of friends have awful terminal illnesses and that’s worse?
Anyone reading this only employ builders recommended by 2 or 3 verified sources. It’s good to be plugged into the community so you can use builders neighbours have used. Our builder was amazing a product failed and he bore the cost even though it wasn’t his fault. I can recommend him without reservation. He’s not the cheapest there is but you get what you pay for

You'd win in court, so he'd get a CCJ against him. He'd then not be able to get any credit at any building merchants for a start. He'd get no credit anywhere, not even a new bank account.

He may not have any assets, but he will own a car or / and a van. That's a start. Plus, a debt that size, the Sheriffs Office high court enforcement offers are the way forward. They will force him to agree to a repayment plan, not like your usual county court bailiffs. Enquire about the services from the sheriffs office. If you're not sure who they are, just youtube them.

Furthermore, it's also possible to get an attachment of earnings award. That would automatically deduct money from his earnings. However, the Sheriffs would be your best bet after you got the CCJ through MCOL money claim online, the. Gov website.

Yes, you will have to pay to take him to court, but it's very unlikely you won't have to physically attend. But think how even if you got a few thousand back initially, wouldn't that be worth it?

I've done it myself, several times and I can tell you it feels great. The sheriffs have their ways of forcing payment.

I would anonymously report him to HMRC. He doesn’t sound the type to pay taxes. He needs to be held accountable for being the worlds biggest twunt. He’s more then likely done this before and there will be plenty of people that could have informed on him.

Get in touch with Trading Standards and get them to hammer him as it was sub-standard. I'd also shop him to HMRC and let them have a go as he is bound to have fiddled something somewhere. I'm sorry this happened to you and hope you can get it sorted.

@greatbritishknee PM me if you want to but I'd love to know the name of the builder, my parents have experienced something very similar to your story, builders initials were LH.

A family member who we trusted 100% conned us out of about £55000, we sold our home and had to start back from scratch,

it hasn't been easy, but it made us stronger, we look at our DC and we do everything for them. as we say, we came with nothing in this world, we will come out with nothing, but we have each other right now and let's not dwell on the past.

as for the family member, he is terminally ill a few months later, to me this is just karma.