Wedding date dilemma

[Subla2401]

Just looking for some impartial advice here as I am so indecisive. I recently got engaged to my partner of 8 years and we have just found the venue we'd love to get married in, which is exciting! However, they are very limited on dates.

I am a teacher so ideally would like to get married when I have more than just one week off work. So that leaves Easter or summer (it's an outdoorsy venue so not too keen on winter time). If we want to go for next year, Easter is completely booked and they only have Sundays left in August. If we want a Saturday wedding, we'd have to push it back to 2021, where we can choose either April or August.

We're keen to get married sooner rather than later. But, is a Sunday wedding a terrible idea? And alternatively, will April be too cold (we live in the South of England)? The venue is a couple of hours away from home so guests would need to stay the night, meaning they'd have to book Monday off work.

So my question is... which would you choose and why?

Thanks so much in advance.

The whole "if people love or care about you they will take the time off" doesn't allow for the fact that that is simply not possible in some jobs at certain times of year, or because someone else in the team has already booked that day off and that's before you even start thinking about the financial implication.

And people planning weddings forget that it's perfectly possible that yours is the second, third, fourth, fifth wedding invite this year and every single one of them has been a midweek or Friday wedding (to save the bride and groom money). I was invited to four midweek weddings last year and two this year. At least they were all local so no overnight stays or lengthy travel involved, but my not going doesn't mean I don't care or wish you well - it's simply not possible for all sorts of reasons.

I would compromise on the wanting more than a week off after the wedding before anything else!

Besides, you do also have Christmas as an option. No one wants rain, but a wedding in winter takes the pressure off expectations (mine was mid November and we had a beautiful autumnal day).

I actually think it's better to just decompress and have a short break immediately after your wedding. We had 'just' a week, and it was lovey dovey and romantic. Then we had a fab adventurous honeymoon once the glow had worn off a few weeks later.

Drop that requirement before anything else!

In all honesty, unless you were my best friend, or a close family member, I wouldn’t take a day of my precious annual leave for your wedding.

If possiblе, I would attend the ceremony, but would then skip the reception in order to get home.

If you don't want to change the venue I would probably do ceremony around lunchtime to give people a chance to get there but ask if the venue can do something really laid back like a bbq afterwards so it's a nice casual intimate feel rather than a big party then people can leave around 6pm. You then have a lovely romantic night together stay over, go away the following day for a few days and have your honeymoon another time.
We had our honeymoon over a first wedding anniversary for different reasons, it was great, gave us something else to look forward to and was an extra special celebration

Honestly - two hours away wouldn't bother me, I'd travel a lot further than that for a wedding, and I'd take the next day off as well. I think a Sunday is fine as long as you don't want the party to be a massive all-nighter and accept that some people will leave earlier.

I'd question the choice of an 'outdoorsy' venue though - it's such a massive risk in this country! Imagine if it pours with rain all day and be honest with yourself - would it still be a lovely event? If so, go ahead. If it would mean all your guests spending a lot of time in a cold damp tent or trudging through mud, I'd try to find somewhere more sensible.

Definitely go for the Sunday of a bank holiday weekend if it's free. We're just about to book a Saturday of a bank holiday weekend as it's also Half Term and lots of people will be coming with children and will have to travel a few hours to get to the wedding (everyone lives all over the place!).

I want to maximise the chance of everyone coming by causing as little disruption as possible!

Any thoughts on what's been said OP?

Friday is probably better, most people can get a day off work with nearly a years notice

Thanks for all of the replies! We've decided to go for the Sunday next August but we are going to invite guests to attend all day (not separate evening guests) and then invite them to stay the night if they can / would like to. All of the guests are either family (I have a big extended family) or close friends.

Oh and there were no Fridays left either throughout spring / summer next year - otherwise we would have gone for that!

Is there a Sunday available during the August bank holiday weekend? That would be perfect

No bank holiday Sundays either... it's a very popular venue!

Jewish weddings are always on a Sunday and nobody bats an eyelid. Works really well and are a great party. Nobody ever leaves early

Ask the venue to let you know of any cancellations as they do often crop up.

Might be worth letting everyone know the date in advance then, as August is the main time when people are likely to book their holidays, and, if some of your guests have a choice, they can then book to be away a different week.

I would consider other venues with better availability. I'm getting married soon and we sacrificed the perfect photo ready location for a more local hotel to make sure we could have a Saturday wedding this year . I've been to approx 12 weddings in the past 2 years and I only remember how convenient locations were, if the food was particularly good / bad, and if I was left standing for a long time. My sibling went to a mostly outdoor wedding in the SE recently and was cold all day, because it rained and the plan had been for everyone to be out in the beautiful garden.

Sometimes you need to decide what is more important : the venue, or having your nearest and dearest at your wedding without massively inconveniencing them.

Sorry, Sunday weddings are not great because lots of people inevitably clear out shortly into the evening, and certainly by by about 10pm. Friday weddings are brilliant, assuming your guests will be happy to take the Friday off work. I know that both options are 1 day off work, but in practice that's not what happens - people will just leave a Sunday wedding early and go to work the next day as usual.

Answer - as the old joke goes, a cash bar at a Jewish wedding would be like a furrier at a Greenpeace event Jewish weddings don't usually involve drinking, so people aren't worried about hangovers and the like.