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Original poster

Wedding date dilemma

143 replies

Subla2401 · 21/08/2019 08:37

Just looking for some impartial advice here as I am so indecisive. I recently got engaged to my partner of 8 years and we have just found the venue we'd love to get married in, which is exciting! However, they are very limited on dates.

I am a teacher so ideally would like to get married when I have more than just one week off work. So that leaves Easter or summer (it's an outdoorsy venue so not too keen on winter time). If we want to go for next year, Easter is completely booked and they only have Sundays left in August. If we want a Saturday wedding, we'd have to push it back to 2021, where we can choose either April or August.

We're keen to get married sooner rather than later. But, is a Sunday wedding a terrible idea? And alternatively, will April be too cold (we live in the South of England)? The venue is a couple of hours away from home so guests would need to stay the night, meaning they'd have to book Monday off work.

So my question is... which would you choose and why?

Thanks so much in advance.

OP posts:
Disfordarkchocolate · 21/08/2019 09:08

Anyone with school-aged children won't stay overnight on a Sunday, will that stop people you want to be there coming?

We got married on a Friday ( school broke up on Thursday for summer), is that a possibility? If so send save the dates ASAP so people you want to come don't book holidays.

We had our honeymoon ages after our wedding and it was great. We set off all relaxed with nothing to think about but enjoying ourselves. Weddings can be lovely but they can also be stressful and tiring.

CloudsCanLookLikeSheep · 21/08/2019 09:09

I had a Sunday wedding and regretted it. Most people left early and the night went out with a whimper. I wouldn't recommend it.

BeanBag7 · 21/08/2019 09:11

@Disfordarkchocolate "Anyone with school-aged children won't stay overnight on a Sunday, will that stop people you want to be there coming?"

OP is a teacher so wedding will be in the school holidays

ButterflyOne1 · 21/08/2019 09:12

Sunday is fine but just don't expect people to want to party until late if they have work on Monday.

Could you not get married then do your honeymoon a few months later when you have more time off?

RachelEllenR · 21/08/2019 09:12

We had a Sunday but it was a bank holiday weekend. I'd look for a new venue personally but have been to a couple of non bank holiday Sunday weddings and they've been fine. One we drove home and didn't book leave and the other i booked the Monday off work and drove home Monday morning.

pinkdelight · 21/08/2019 09:12

Doesnt sound like the ideal venue from a dates POV. The distance wouldn't ordinarily be an issue, people travel for weddings, but I wouldn't add the pressure of people needing to take a Monday off work for you. Many will more likely keep it low-key and head home that evening. For me, if I'd wanted a 'proper' wedding, the right dates and people being there would take priority over the bricks and mortar of a venue. So as PPs have said, I'd start with the dates you want to get married and find a place with availability.

Disfordarkchocolate · 21/08/2019 09:12

Thanks, @BeanBag7, and I had read the post Smile. I will blame my stupidly on lack of sleep due to an ear infection.

Piffle11 · 21/08/2019 09:13

I think a Sunday wedding would be fine IF the venue was local. People could still book the Monday off if possible, but if they couldn't, still home Sunday night and back into work on the Monday. Could you get married on the Sunday in August with the Bank Holiday Monday attached to it? Weather wise: well, you really can't tell these days, can you? I got married in October - is the half term in Oct any good for you? I know it's only a week rather than two, but these days the weather in October tends to be better than April, and in the year I got married August was a washout and October was 20 odd degrees. We were sat outside for my wedding, the weather was amazing.

Derbee · 21/08/2019 09:16

I’d find a new venue.

ShatnersWig · 21/08/2019 09:17

As with all things, have what you want but anticipate that some people won't be able to take the time off, some people may be unwilling to take the time off, some will leave early.

Personally, I wouldn't choose a venue so far from home if the majority of guests are also from that area. It doesn't make sense to uproot everyone and get them to more expense and inconvenience than is necessary for the sake of a pretty venue. The marriage and celebration is important, not how nice the property is.

Youngandfree · 21/08/2019 09:18

Nothing wrong with a Sunday wedding at all. Not EVERYONE will have work on the Monday. And some may take it off. It’s such a shame you are confined to certain dates...in Ireland teachers get a week paid leave when they get married meaning they can get married any time of year!!

Blinketyblonketyblank · 21/08/2019 09:19

Depends on the make up of your guests. A lot of mine were travelling - if it had been a Saturday they'd probably have had to take Friday off, we did a Sunday and so they took Monday off instead. Of those who were local, some left early as they had work the next day, others stayed the night at the venue as a treat (family connections meant they were able to get cheap rooms) and went to work the next day from there. It was school holidays so no school the next day for kids.

I think a handful of people said no due to travelling and needing time off work, but whichever day or venue you choose, someone is always going to be unable to attend. Do whatever suits you, but don't get upset if some guests aren't keen. If fuller attendance or a more lively evening do is essential, change venue or day. My reception was fine. I was asleep while a lot of the guests were still partying.

DreamingofSunshine · 21/08/2019 09:20

I did the Sunday of the August Bank Holiday weekend as I'm Jewish so couldn't do a Saturday. It worked really well but we had a few people moan, but we pointed out that they didn't have to come if they didn't want to!

TixieLix · 21/08/2019 09:21

I wouldn't attend unless you were a very close relative. Weddings are expensive enough with outfits and gifts so to add on 2hrs travel and an overnight stay, I wouldn't do it. Even less so on a Sunday.

toadabode · 21/08/2019 09:24

I can't think of much worse than having to travel two hours away to a wedding on a Sunday. Terrible idea to go for the Sunday unless you can get the August bank holiday Sunday

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/08/2019 09:24

If you want to have the best wedding from an enjoyment POV I would not do this do a Sunday as family will object / children need to go to school. Everyone will need Monday off, not just your dp. Holidays even at Easter are completely different in different regions of the country.

In this case I’d compromise and do the first Saturday of the summer term half term holidays. Go away for a couple of nights maybe sun / mon to a fancy hotel / stay in at the venue and have your official honeymoon at the beginning of the summer holidays.

If you’re happy for the party to end early or a number of people decline Sunday is fine.

Personally I think it’s a big ask to expect guests to have the treble whammy of travelling, paying for a hotel and take Monday off.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 21/08/2019 09:24

I wouldn’t attend either unless immediate family. Imposing a day off and a hotel bill on guests I always feel is unfair. Plenty of places I get married locally.

You sound like all the emphasis is on the venue but getting married is all about the vows. Not the date, venue, dress etc.

flouncyfanny · 21/08/2019 09:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreekOddess · 21/08/2019 09:26

We've been to a couple of weddings on a Sunday and left before the evening part as we had to travel and had work/school the next day.

Some couples have said the evening was a bit flat as it ended up being low key and no one wanted to party. I think it can work if you're happy with a low key relaxed affair in the evening as most people probably won't stay.

Gatepost1820 · 21/08/2019 09:26

I got married on a Sunday before a bank holiday Monday and the venue was £1k cheaper than having it the day before. That swung the decision for me and people who really wanted to attend made the effort.

I know you wanted to marry during a long holiday rather than a week half term, if marrying earlier is important than it shouldn't matter. You'll find a way round it either by finding a different venue or by having it on a Sunday. It is just a day, a very important one though, but your lives together is a lot more important than one day.

My friend's fiance died suddenly earlier this year and they were engaged for 3 years. They hadn't booked their wedding because they couldn't find the perfect venue or time to get married. These things don't matter and she realises that now and bitterly regrets not marrying earlier. You don't know what life will bring in the future so don't delay marriage.

Crunchymum · 21/08/2019 09:27

I will be blunt here, your wedding is only really going to be important to a handful of people. If you want all your friends and family there, then you need to make it accessible for as many people as possible. This means looking closely at your venue and the date you chose.

Expecting people to travel and fork out for an overnight stay and take a day's annual leave is selfish. Unless you were a very close friend or family, I wouldn't attend.

Change you venue or push back until 2021 for a Saturday (although travel and hotel costs are still going to be an issue)

60minutemakeunder · 21/08/2019 09:27

I’ve been to a couple of Sunday weddings, they weren’t great to be honest. Loads of people left straight after the meal, those that stayed were not really in a party mood as working the next day, and the trains that a lot of people could have got were not running so lots of taxis needed.

It all felt a bit flat, both couples regretted their choice of day.

Honeyroar · 21/08/2019 09:28

I went to a Sunday wedding, it was lovely, but the evening reception had very few people left at 10pm, they were all going home early because of work.

iamkahleesi · 21/08/2019 09:28

Teacher here also, we had a Sunday wedding in April, it was beautiful and everyone stayed for the full evening. Most booked the Monday off to sleep off the hangover!! 😂
Congratulations!!

pasturesgreen · 21/08/2019 09:29

I agree that a Friday would be preferable to the Sunday. I've been to a couple of Sunday weddings and as others have pointed out, the evening reception is bound to fall fairly flat quite early on as the majority of guests won't want the hassle and expense of staying overnight.

I'll be blunt: you're looking at an inconvenient location (2 hours away will be inconvenient for many) and inconvenient day: compromise and pick either, not both.

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