Wedding date dilemma

[Subla2401]

Just looking for some impartial advice here as I am so indecisive. I recently got engaged to my partner of 8 years and we have just found the venue we'd love to get married in, which is exciting! However, they are very limited on dates.

I am a teacher so ideally would like to get married when I have more than just one week off work. So that leaves Easter or summer (it's an outdoorsy venue so not too keen on winter time). If we want to go for next year, Easter is completely booked and they only have Sundays left in August. If we want a Saturday wedding, we'd have to push it back to 2021, where we can choose either April or August.

We're keen to get married sooner rather than later. But, is a Sunday wedding a terrible idea? And alternatively, will April be too cold (we live in the South of England)? The venue is a couple of hours away from home so guests would need to stay the night, meaning they'd have to book Monday off work.

So my question is... which would you choose and why?

Thanks so much in advance.

If you're in the South and don't mind a couple of hours or so of travel, I'd look at different venues. There are so many amazing wedding venues in Devon / Cornwall. It would open up more date options for you, even for say a winter wedding if you wanted to get married soon. There are lots of beautiful settings which would be great for indoor or outdoor. It's worth remembering that even in August the weather can be terrible so although an outdoorsy venue might look amazing in pictures when bathed in sunshine, the story could be very different on your actual wedding day meaning all the other compromises just to get that venue aren't worth it. I know it's tough when you've found somewhere you like but it seems like the Sunday compromise meaning a day off work plus travel plus accommodation cost might be a big ask of your guests.

So next year it’s either a compromise on Sundays in August , a date that isn’t in a longer school holiday or a new venue.

Finding a nice venue locally can be a right pain. We had a choice country hotel ( that I used to work in at 14), pubs or sticking a marquee up.None of which appealed for the money so I get where you are coming from.

So personally in order of preference I’d do;
Saturday not in a long school holiday - May or October or just a weekend.
April the year after. The time goes quickly.
Change venue.
Sunday in August.

I feel like Sunday weddings are the worst and shows a lack of consideration/care from the bride and groom. Sunday is a day of rest and I would never book a Monday off because of a wedding unless I was very close to the couple (I'm talking bridal party territory close)

They're generally quite dull. I don't see why you wouldn't just wait til 2021, there's no need to rush.

I think being 2+ hrs away when you seem to expect most people to be local to your home town anyway will have a huge impact on the numbers going.

The only people really interested in your wedding is your and you v close friends and family, the 80% others are not that fussed but will go if it's convenient, making the wedding on a 4 hr round trip for most people will probably make them decide they have better things to do that day. Look for a local venue, you'll remember the day for the people who were there and what they said/did rather than the place itself, if it's raining or too sunny you'll only see the inside of the place and hot the outdoors anyway.

I think Sunday weddings are lovely, have been to a few and I think they seem nicer than Saturdays, perhaps they were back in the day when nothing was open on Sunday so it was a treat to have something interesting to do!

However . . . travelling 2 hours to a Sunday wedding? Not loving that half so much. Imagining having to leave at 7pm to get DCs home to bed at 9pm.

We got married in April and it was really hot. Our wedding anniversary is rarely hot though. Mind you, last Saturday was freezing and torrential rain, felt v sorry for brides.

Random tip: if you decide to look at other venues but you're struggling to work out which venues would be worth taking a closer look at ...search for wedding photographers in the area (or maybe ask the venue you like who they recommend) and check out their social media as you will be able to see which other nearby venues they cover and how those venues look in their pictures.

Quite frankly, I think anyone that deliberately chooses a venue that they know most of the guests will have to travel and pay for overnight accommodation for is pretty rude to start off with. Why not choose a venue that isn't going to cost your guests a fortune and a day off work?

Sunday is a lovely day to get married.

Not sure if this has been mentioned or not, but next year the Ist Bank Hoilday in May is now on a Friday, to commemorate VE Day. The date is fixed for 8th May. Is it worth looking at that date?

I found the atmosphere at the Sunday weddings was more like a christening party. Nice enough, but low key. It was like everyone was just waiting for a polite time to sneak away.

Both couples were obviously hoping for a full on, late night party as they had bands / DJs booked, but the party atmosphere just never took off.

DH was a teacher when we got married. We had a random Saturday term time wedding just before half term. Used half term to do a "minimoon" of 5 nights in New York then used that as an excuse to do a second honeymoon in the next big holiday for 2 weeks

I think picking a venue that far away is daft, guests spend enough to attend weddings without long travel or paying for hotel rooms, pick something closer to home. Yes it’s your day but be realistic if you want people to attend, I’m sure there’s closer venues.

A Sunday wedding is marvellous! So is a Friday or a Monday or any day really.

We got married in August, many teacher friends were away on their own holidays.

A venue 2 hours away from most of your guests is already a pain. Only the closest will want to travel at all, let alone stay over.

An alternative proposition- get married in May, either the half term holiday or the bank holiday suggested above. The weather is often more reliable in May than in either April or August. You’re more likely to have a full complement of guests if you choose a venue much closer to where the majority of your family and friends live, and a day other than Sunday.

You could then have a short mini-honeymoon at the outdoorsy venue , and then have the actual honeymoon in summer.

We had a Sunday wedding, but we picked a date before a local Monday holiday so people could recover.

It was great as everything was much cheaper than for the Saturday dates.

I am in complete agreement of going for a Friday instead if you can.
Have been to both fri and sun weddings, 2 of the sunday weddings we had after a wedding on a saturday as well and so we were too tired to enjoy ourselves to begin with and then on top of that became conscious of work the next day as did most of the other people, even some of our biggest party going friends...

If you're not worried about guests sneaking away early etc... then Sunday will be fine x

Another teacher here... I got married on a Sunday (in July) and had absolutely no problems with guests not showing up or leaving early. In fact, we had the opposite - most guests stayed until the venue closed past midnight because they were having such a good time (we did have a v good DJ!) And there were a few who had to travel far as well.
At the end of the day, it's your wedding, your day, and guests will make their own arrangements. That isn't for you to worry about when you have enough wedding preparation to do. You can't please everyone.
I know people who have gotten married abroad on a Tuesday or Wednesday (imagine the travel time and annual leave for that!) and still had a very well attended wedding.
At the end of the day, if people want to be there, they will make it happen.

I don't get the posters saying to choose a Friday as people would need to take the Monday off to enjoy a Sunday wedding. Surely if the wedding's on a Friday guests would need to take that day off?? Or am I daft and missing something?

It's often easier to take a friday off work and you tend to miss less because people are winding down for the week. It doesn't feel the same taking a monday off.

Scrap the venue. It's a real cheek to expect people to spend the night and take a day off work.

My brother got married on a Sunday lots of people were leaving by 10 o'clock because of work the next day and the evening was all a bit of a damp squib

I would prepare for that or for people leaving even earlier or not coming at all especially if there is a distance to be travelled

If you have a Sunday wedding, please don't have separate evening guests as having to pay for accommodation etc. like all-day guests and having to take a day off work is a bit galling

Very true, Figgy and StCharlotte, have a Sunday wedding that's just all one, no evening shit, early enough that people don't have to stay or take off work because some people simply cannot do this or afford to pay to stay or are inclined to. It's very rude, honestly.

How about an early Sunday wedding with an early evening finish. Wedding at 12 then food and fun until say 6 or 7. There is no need to have an evening do. 6 or 7 hours at a wedding is plenty!

Hmm, if it involved travelling 2 hours, AND booking a hotel for the night AND having to take a day of annual leave I think you'll find that a lot of people will not drink and leave early.

Unless it was a very close friend or family member we would find it hard to justify the expense of a hotel plus a days leave on a Monday, and we know that quite a few friends definitely wouldn't be able to take a Monday off.

Bear in mind it will likely cost each couple a few hundred quid in petrol, hotel, clothes, gift, bar drinks etc.