..To give my baby my surname?

[aimray12]

Hi all

I'm having a bit of a personal dilemma here. 16 weeks pregnant, recently broken up with the father - my choice. I broke up with him because he has been a useless boyfriend in terms of commitment and keeping his word. He continually lets me down when he makes plans with me, by either rescheduling or cancelling at the last minute - and then tries to make up for it threefold - which also ends up crumbling down for whatever reason he's got this time. After nearly a year of this I gave up altogether, but I see him every day because we also work together. It was seeing each other outside of work that was the problem - he never had time for me or the baby, his friends always came first.

So, taking all this into account, I want our baby to share my last name. The baby will be living with me, I'll be dropping my hours to part time in order to spend more time at home with the baby, I'll be the primary caregiver at the end of the day and I don't trust him to be a consistently reliable father at this point tbh, judging by the way he's been remorselessly treating me. He doesn't think he's done anything wrong, of course. And he's fuming about the name thing. He thinks it should at least be double barrelled. My mum is urging me to stick to my guns on this because for all I know, I could well end up having to do this all on my own, and besides, some of my friends have told me that this'll make it easier paperwork wise aswell for ID and things.

The father thinks my reasons are ridiculous and it's backing down on this. I'm trying to be as diplomatic as I possibly can even though I don't need his permission to do this, but it has me second guessing myself now. Am I being unreasonable? He seems to think so. A couple of my colleagues seem to think so. We're unmarried and he has a LOT to prove, why should I take that chance? I'm right, right?

Another vote for your name. Genuinely confused why woman automatically give children their fathers name

I disagree too and think it should be double barrelled. A child has two parents, why does he have o prove himself and not you? He might not be the best boyfriend but still an amazing parent.

There is absolutely no way I would have a different name to my child. Not a chance.
I had a different name to DS temporarily (we had agreed to get married and did so before DS turned one) and filling out forms with a different surname to my baby actually really upset me, he didn’t feel like mine.

In this situation I would give the baby your name. You and the father are not together so therefore the sensible thing is to choose your name . It will make life easier in the long run and to be honest your ex had done nothing to deserve having his name . Stick with your decision as you are doing the right thing by your child .