To think single people are happier

[anniemac1984]

I've been single for nearly 15 years now after leaving an abusive relationship

I'm 39 and couldn't care less if I never play "hide the sausage" ever again 😆

Not only have i recently come to the sad conclusion that a lot of men are twats (not all I know, but a lot are)

But I also think I'm a lot happier than most of my friends who are in relationships or married and stressed with family life etc

I think it's sad I've come to this conclusion, but I really feel a lot of people are in unhappy relationships 🤷🏻‍♀️

Maybe it's where I live (in a city)
Maybe it's because of my past
Maybe I'm right 🤔

What you reck? X

I’m a single mum and I’m definitely not happy, I’m very down and lonely and feel sad not having a partner when everyone else I know does. I did read that single childless women are said to be the happiest.

I agree to an extent. Some of my happiest times have been when I was single. Especially when I was in my early 20s and my best friends were single too, we were so close and could just pick up and do what we wanted when we wanted and I loved the fun and freedom of that time.

Last year I split with my long term partner and I really enjoyed being single then too. There was something strangely freeing in having my world as I knew it crash down and having no choice but to have a fresh start. I started laughing more and felt like I was rediscovering my old self, it was like my life filled with colour again once I left him.

I met my new boyfriend in January this year and I'm very happy but I wouldn't say I'm any happier, maybe just a different kind of happy? I think a lot of people stay in the wrong relationships (I definitely did with my ex) because they're scared of making a change and I think single people are most definitely happier than those people.

@PumpkinP might be right about single childless women, I don't have children yet.

@OP, I'm in a very similar situation to you. Been in long term relationships, done co-habiting but I'm as happy as a clam on my own in my own house. Far happier than when I was in a relationship.

That said, a lot of my friends have happy marriages/long term relationships and I'm pleased for them. But there are some people who just prefer a more solitary life and that's cool too :)

Depends on the partner, I love my husband and am much happier for having him in my life however if he was abusive then I'd be happier single than with him.

I did read that single childless women are said to be the happiest.

That may well be part of it, as I'm child-free by choice.

Single people are happier than people in difficult relationships with fighting and sulking and shouting.

People in positive supportive relationships are happier than single people.

Children inevitably change the dynamics (speaking as someone who hasn’t got any). Some relationships which were good pre children don’t work so well when they come along. Which is sad. But sometimes those parents will be happier if they separate, and happy separated parents are probably bettter for children than unhappy together parents.

I read that on here so not sure how true it is!

Maybe you just know a lot of people in bad relationships op? Of course beig single would be better than being in a bad/abusive relationship

I’m a single mum and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, I don’t miss sex either, some people do better alone and another’s can’t manage alone, we’re all different. Any situation without arguments and abuse is the best one. Well done for getting out

I used to feel this way OP but my DP and I decided to give it one last shot and for us it’s worked and I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I didn’t really rate single life all that much really, sure my home was tidier and I was skinnier but I wasn’t really happier.

I've just come out of a stressy nearly two year situationship involving a marriage and lies and constant deceit and omg the relief!!

I'm calmer. My skin is glowing🤣. I've lost weight🤗 Sometimes I do miss the company but it passes after I remember how its ended and realise I'm better off alone.

Just enjoy the peace I think. You never know what tomorrow may bring...

It will depend on the person, in my experience with the people I know I wouldn't say it was true.- but that's just my experience. All that matters is if you are happy :)

I'm happier out. My relationship was bliss but turned into a hell that threatened to crush me - i'm me again now. And hey, single doesn't have to mean no sausage!?

I can see this from both sides. My DM left my DF when I was young. He was abusive and my DM is so much happier without him. She has never met anyone else and has never been happier.
I'm ( thankfully) in a happy marriage and am happier than i was before it.
So, there's 2 sides to the debate I'd say .

The happiest situation is being married to the love of your life surely? For me, having children is the icing on the cake! If I hadn’t found the right one, I would be happy on my own though - being in the wrong relationship can be soul destroying !

not here

ive never know single life really as we were both 17 when we got together and still in college

ive been with my only boyfriend/sexual partner for 20 years(same for him as well)now and have a just 9 and nearly 15 y old and we have never had 1 relationship problem and have been very happy since day1

ive never had a mil/pil problem or a interfering grandmother thinking they know best,i see my inlaws as another mum and dad

my partner does just as much as me household wise(cleans more acually) and children wise hes done it from newborn and i used cloth nappies on both

he doesnt go out and leave us, we all spend 24 hours together as a happy family doing happy activities or home ed activities

and no im not goading im just pointing out that there is happy women out there that doesnt have or never had a mil or partner/husband problem

im our case we have been happy since 1999

I think the benefits of a loving, equal relationship far outweigh the ones you get from being single (and I do get those, I really do)!

I’m married and I do sometimes get jealous of my single peers with their seemingly exciting lives and lots of disposable income but at the end of the day, I have a life partner in DH and I wouldn’t want to be without him.

In your case OP, I totally get why you prefer being alone and if you’re happy then great!

i’m much happier married to my DH.

Backatcha, @anniemac1984

Often, reading MN threads about awful partners & husbands I want to weep for them but yelp with with joy for my singledom. But I escaped an abusive marriage too (& the subsequent assorted dramas & death threats) so am unlikely to be representative.

Horses for courses. I've had 2 GOOD relationships since - both short term, exclusive, & pre-agreed not to be "for ever" - & have stayed good chums with both chaps, so I know it's possible. We simply were not going to be each other's "one".

If the right chap hoves into view I won't naysay him - but my bullshit detectors & control-avoidance techniques are so well honed by now he'll have a job getting past them.
Which is maybe no bad thing - I don't, at this stage of life, want any dilettantes hanging off my coat tails :)

I am. I’ve been single for years, no dates or one night stands or anything. I’m happier. I have young kids so it works for me. My time is my own, I like not having to consider another adult. I can’t see me ever being in another relationship. I would definitely never live with somebody again. I love having my own space and privacy (apart from kids). We’re settled and content as we are.

Thanks for the replies! 😀

It's interesting because from day dot we've always been taught that we are meant/need to have a partner.
But maybe we're not 🤔

I have had soooo many dates thinking i "should" be in a relationship,
That there must be something wrong with me for being happy on my own 🤷🏻‍♀️
That I "need" a man for security, support and to be truly complete/ happy.

But online dating has made me realize a lot of guys are so boring!
Or only interested in what's between my legs 🙄

Don't get me wrong I do know some amazing men, I don't want to come across as a man hater 😆
But on the whole I've not met any man that I truly felt would bring anything to my life.

I don't know if this is because I'm a typical aries so get bored easily 😁
Or because of my past etc

But either way it's nice to know I'm not a weirdo for being happy on my own 😊 x

I think it’s the same as children vs childfree. Single or happily coupled up are just different kinds of happy; one isn’t necessarily better or worse than the other.

I think it very much depends on the person? It’s easy to say people in good relationships will be happier than single people but some people may not just be the relationship type?

I could have written Imustbemad00's post. I'm a single mum with 2 children. I love our home. We're chilled and relaxed here and there's no way I'd ever want to be living with anyone else again.

Having said that I'd never say I was "happier" than anyone in a couple! I know lots of happy friends in relationships. I also know a few unhappy ones. I think it's all linked to what makes individuals happy. Sometimes I think I'm a bit different to lots of people because I love having my own space and living on my own (with children if that makes sense). I like being free to decide exactly what we're up to. I find it calm and peaceful. Then again my marriage was pretty horrific by the end so maybe it's just wonderful compared to that.