To start using my Dr title everywhere?

[Fyette]

I am 35 years old, but was born with the mixed genetic blessing of always looking far younger than my actual age. I still regularly get asked for ID in pubs and even at the cinema. I have a DD and people tend to assume I am a (very) young mother.

And yes, sometimes this is nice and flattering.

But like all women, and especially young women, I seem to get patronised a lot. I especially notice it at my DDs school (and before that with the HV), or in semi-formal settings.

I have a PhD and have never used my dr title outside of work, because I don't want to seem like a twat, basically. But sometimes I feel seeming like an obnoxious twat might be preferable to having to put up with this general condescension. Perhaps if I start introducing myself as Dr Fyette I will be taken more seriously? AIBU?

(Mind you: I do not think young women without a PhD deserve to be patronised any more than I do.)

My husband is a consultant. He gets ‘Dr’ ‘Mr’ and when he was you younger, the elderly patients called him ‘son’ he cared not a jot...........

I have to ask for peoples titles at work and it doesn't make a difference to me what people use, so use it!
Apart from when I ask what their title is and they don't understand so I have to reel off the options of "Mr/Ms/Miss/Dr/Lord/Lady..."

Red dentists are Mister aren't they like surgeons as they are dental surgeons? But maybe that's why you called them twatty dentists.

Imho you will look like a Twat

To the PP who mentioned the delivery driver looking for a male and not seeing what difference it'd make- surely that is the difference it makes? That driver will now see the title 'Dr' and not assume the recipient is automatically a man next time.

@Jenny, from your posts on the pension thread and here, I guess that you feel you missed the educational boat at school age. Your posts are incisive and thoughtful. Without wishing to patronise, maybe now is the time to resume study towards your own PhD. You are clearly smart and clever enough to do so.

I don't use mine as a PhD in particle physics is of no importance in my current role in a hospital. I do not want to get confused with a medical doctor.

However, before I took this role, I used it all the time.

Getting a PhD is an amazing achievement, you should be proud and use the title when appropriate

I use it with pride. Go for it

Sorry, but using titles or letters after your name makes you look like a twat outside the professional environment you work in. By all means use them when appropriate in a relevant setting, i.e. work, but not in everyday life.

Absolutely use it, you worked for it. DH accidentally checked Dr when booking an airport Hotel a few years ago and we got upgraded to executive with lounge access, there may be perks to be had!

Of course, be proud of the fact that you have earned an amazing qualification but to use it as a badge of honour or to assert superiority or expect due deference is utterly is crass.

I've got a PhD but I look old as fuck so I don't bother.

'With the kindest of intentions, qualifying as a nurse does not make you the intellectual equal of a PhD.'

I find that the majority, and I do generalise here, of people who think it's twatty are from backgrounds where uni and higher ed are the norm and have families full of high achievers.
So it isn't a big deal.
But it is a massive deal. As Pp said, it is extremely important for the achievement of women in particular to be trumpeted from the rooftops.
It was so long ago that we could go to uni but were not allowed to graduate.
Not so long ago that we were all possessions of our fathers/brothers/husbands.
So you can use it to disguise your gender or marital status if you wish. And some have a really good reason for doing so.
So regardless of your reasoning, if you have qualification why shouldn't you broadcast it.
Ah yes, I forgot. We should just go along with the age old tradition of putting each other down and playing to the patriarchy.
Fuck that.
I didn't work in grotty bars to pay my way tp end up where I am now to have someone call me a dick because I want to use my well earned title.
FUCK THAT.

I also think you are completely deluded if you think anyone thinks that you, at 35, are 'a very young mother' and patronise you for that reason. TBH.

Congratulations! I got my PhD in December and I use it, I don't care if I'm a twat for using it, it was bloody hard work and I agree with previous posters who have mentioned changing stereotypes about women with PhDs.

When people ask, 'Dr of what?' what will you say?

When people ask, 'Dr of what?' what will you say?

Doctor of whatever her PHD is in.

By all means use them when appropriate in a relevant setting, i.e. work, but not in everyday life.

Once more, for the hard of reading, many PhDs have nothing to do with work at all. Therefore, there is no such thing as a ‘relevant setting.’ Do you only use your name in relevant settings?

Once more, for the hard of reading

Please stop confirming all of the worst stereotypes about people with doctorates.

I got mine in 2007. I manage to avoid being a sneering, patronising, contemptuous twat most of the time.

wasn't so long ago

It could backfire so be careful - the condescender might ask if you’re a GP.... and upon explaining your PhD you may get a worse response!

I’d use it otherwise in general though.

NerrSnerr DPhil I believe.

I work in academia, everyone including the Chancellor and VC is John and Fred. Only in medical settings does anybody expect me to address them with a title. And that's 100% fine. I remind them mine is Mrs and no, they may not use my first name.

Please stop confirming all of the worst stereotypes about people with doctorates.

I don’t have a doctorate 🤷🏽‍♀️

OK, just stop acting like a twat then.