To start using my Dr title everywhere?

[Fyette]

I am 35 years old, but was born with the mixed genetic blessing of always looking far younger than my actual age. I still regularly get asked for ID in pubs and even at the cinema. I have a DD and people tend to assume I am a (very) young mother.

And yes, sometimes this is nice and flattering.

But like all women, and especially young women, I seem to get patronised a lot. I especially notice it at my DDs school (and before that with the HV), or in semi-formal settings.

I have a PhD and have never used my dr title outside of work, because I don't want to seem like a twat, basically. But sometimes I feel seeming like an obnoxious twat might be preferable to having to put up with this general condescension. Perhaps if I start introducing myself as Dr Fyette I will be taken more seriously? AIBU?

(Mind you: I do not think young women without a PhD deserve to be patronised any more than I do.)

Thanks, FamilyOfAliens and AWitchesHat!

In terms of being patronised, ShhhBeQuiet, it's not about intelligence, perceived or otherwise, or about posturing and throwing intellectual weight about. It is, as FaFoutis says, more about being a woman, especially a young-looking one. Actually, I experience this more at work than I do outside it. From students, from staff in other departments, from general university staff who assume because I am a young-looking woman, I cannot possibly be qualified enough to be in my position, so I must be a post-grad student, or a research assistant or whatever. Not by everybody, of course, but frequently enough that I am prepared for it and try to preempt it, whether that's through what I wear, or through deliberately using my title at times.

@Fyette OMG use it every darn day OP! I know I would

Do use it. There's nothing remotely twattish about doing so.

@PhilCornwall1 Tue 20-Aug-19 09:49:34
Serious question and not being an arse towards the married woman who don't use Mrs as they don't want to broadcast marital status. Each to their own and I respect everyone's personal decisions.Do you wear a wedding ring?

No, I don't wear a wedding ring. I don't use Mrs. I didn't change my name. There is literally no way that anyone could know I was married unless they asked directly.

It is no one else's business.

God, no.

I also have no ring, didn’t change my name, and don’t use mrs.

Anyone who does any of those things can fuck off saying I can’t use Dr.

I’ve just started using my Dr title as am about to get divorced and it completely circumnavigates the change back to Miss/Ms from Mrs nicely!

I agree - USE IT!

Be proud of your achievements. It would also be a great role model for women including your DD. As well as sending a message to those who think women are second-class citizens not capable of achieving much outside the kitchen,

I would love to be able to do this. I have a genetic condition that makes me look younger. I look at least 10 years younger. I'm told I'll be grateful when I'm older but right now it is so annoying being IDd for everything and then asked if my driving licence is a fake .
Go for it Dr Fyette

Definitely use it! I'll be using mine.... when I finally get it hahaha

I don’t use mine outside work either, for the same reason as you. But when I find someone condescending or annoying, I do. So yes, if I were you I would.

When I got Phd I had Dr added to my bank card so that if it was ever declined they would assume it was a mistake. It was and they didn't but a chap taking my details for sponsoring a dog told me all about losing part of his leg when a child. I thought he must have been attacked by a dog until I realised he thought I was a medic. I had to confess my PhD was in something else entirely.

Use it, but bear in mind that everyone will start asking you for medical advice and deliver babies at 40,000 ft.

I don't think (from personal experience) that this will be as effective as you think it will be!

But go for it!

Use it, just get used to everyone who can’t see you (and can only see the name Dr Surname) expecting you to be male.

My eldest stepson has a PhD in Astrophysics. l don't think anyone would believe him if he called himself Doctor. He's a 6' Goth with dyed hair and more makeup than a girl band.

But l say go for it! lt's bloody hard work and you've earned it.

Use it. You earned it.

I use mine. I'm a physicist so I was always going to bust the stereotype. And I like having a gender neutral title.

I work with medics and they always use theirs. One of them calls me a proper doctor ;)

I also have a tee shirt which states NOT THAT KIND OF DOCTOR which is doubly hilarious at SF cons and jolly useful on aeroplanes...

Use it. My grandad has a PhD (retired scientist). No one ever knew outside of work, I didn't even know until my grandma told me. If I could ever get a PhD I'd be using it in every way possible I wouldn't care if people thought I was a twat or not.

Tbh at uni we referred to PhD drs as proper doctors.

I can’t imagine being so consumed by a subject that I did a PhD in it then didn’t use the title.

My t shirt would read PhD in ask me anything.

I can see why you’d want to, but people will assume you’re a medical doctor and that could lead to a lot of explaining what you’re actually a doctor of. Also I would think you were a bit pretentious too.

I use Dr and Mrs as the whim takes me outside work (academia). I use it for bank accounts except for my American Express card, which is a second card on DH's account and they said it wasn't possible to have Dr, it had to be Mrs. Interestingly we have a US Amex account as well and it has no title on the card, just first name and surname.

I've never been asked to help in a medical emergency but a colleague was. A flight attendant came and whispered to him that they suspected a passenger was having a heart attack, could he help. He explained that he wasn't a medical doctor but was a well qualified first aider if that would be any use. At which point the man next to him identified himself as a cardiac consultant (so Mr or Prof Consultant not Dr) and shared that there were several others on the flight returning from an international conference. That sick passenger probably had the best quality care possible outside a hospital. It's much more sensible for them to make an announcement for medical help than to sift the medical doctors out of the PhDs.

It depends whether you mean putting down dr when asked whether it’s miss or Mrs or whether you mean when you meet someone introducing yourself as Dr X. I would find it odd if I met someone and they introduced themself do formally

Mileysmiley

I don't have a Phd but I do have letters after my name ... so perhaps I should start using mine as well.

Lol - so have most people! How on earth would you use them?
A Phd is special, hence title BEFORE name.
My friend’s dad is a Dr. of film and uses it when he thinks it might add some clout - I find it very naff.
Nobody - but nobody of 35 looks under 18 - we want a photo Op - with today’s paper in it🤣 That’s a hefty claim to make and Phd or no phd - you’re deluded, albeit very confident!

I would think you were a bit pretentious too.

Why?