To think an American/Canadian childhood seems nicer than a British one?

[WilsonandJackie]

I know I probably am BU as stuff like this will always be a "grass is greener" situation and I can't judge a place based on a holiday (have just returned from 10 days visiting a friend and her husband who moved to Pennsylvania 9 years ago) but I really did notice some things while I was there that have me wondering. I know America has it's issues like the UK with poverty etc and is in an absolutely dire state at the moment politically but I was amazed at how different the children and teenagers over there's lives seem to be.

My friend's live in a suburban neighbourhood outside a big city. The neighbourhood kids (know I shouldn't judge it it over one neighbourhood I spent 10 days in but I live in a neighbourhood of a similar socioeconomic class in the UK which is nothing like this) seemed to be living such an idyllic childhood. Kids out playing on bikes on the roads, climbing trees, building dens, in and out of each others houses. I didn't think kids that age did that anymore, it was like a flashback to the 80s and it felt quite lovely. We're talking kids who are 12-14 years old. They seem on a completely different planet to kids in the UK of the same age. I'd see them riding their bikes to school each morning and they looked genuinely happy, in their own clothes rather than a depressing formal uniform (I hate uniforms with a passion, much prefer the system of a dress code). There were some kids who were smoking weed I admit, but it just looked a different apmostphere. They weren't in tracksuits standing outside a corner shop and intimidating people (yes I see this every day in the UK in my "naice" area, didn't see it once in the US), they just seemed to be laughing with their friends in their gardens.

My friends have 2 kids (girl 16 boy 14), they are completely Americanized and you'd have no idea they were born in Yorkshire. The DD drives now and has a job in a diner, so she earns her own wage. Her school finished in June and isn't back until September, so gets 3 months to let her hair down. While we were visiting her and her friends ended up renting a minivan and all drove to a spot 2 hours away (it's meant to be a sort of mountain range with outstanding natural beauty) to camp. Yes there was probably booze and maybe bud, I'm not oblivious, but the pictures seemed lovely. Gorgeous scenery, campfire etc. They all returned next morning and her friend gave her a lift to work on her way to her own shift. Her brother is very sporty and his friends were round a lot practising basketball in the back yard and then they jumped on their bikes to go to another house. Both kids and their friends seem so carefree and happy. In a way they seemed more independent than teens I'm used to, but also seemed to have had more of a childhood. The schools looked nicer, I know there's still bullying and badly behaved kids etc but none of the schools we droved past looked like the ones I'm used to. I'm used to crumbling concrete blocks that haven't had any money spent on them since 1973 and kids in grim uniforms walking in looking like clones of each other. Whenever I see kids walking to school at home they always look so bloody depressed. I think the middle school system is fab. Why are we chucking kids who may have only just turned 11 into a huge building with kids who may be nearing 17 and expecting them to get on with it? They go from being the oldest, the "big kids" in primary to suddenly being chucked into secondary with no transistion. No wonder they feel under so much pressure to grow up quickly. I'd have paid for my kids to do a middle school system. My 2 boys high school experience along with my own were horrendous. They were both under so much pressure by Year 9 and had no energy to do anything. For 2 years every other bloody word was "GCSE". Even in the holiday's they just wanted to rest. Only went out with friends to KFC or to doss in someone's living room and have a takeaway. Meanwhile my friend's DS at 14 still plays out and lives and breathes his basketball. DS's both insist a kid who was always playing football would have got bullied and teased in their school.

The UK just seems depressing, and my friend's have said the same. My friend's own words were "You couldn't pay me to take my kids back to the UK now. There's so many more oppurtunities for them over here and they are both so much happier than I remember being at their age. We are never coming back." I still love the UK, and would never move to the US because of stuff like Trump and the godawful healthcare system etc. But forgetting stuff like that and just thinking about the kind of apmostphere I'd want to raise DC in, I'd choose the US any day of the week. I've heard of many people who have gone to the US and Canada with kids and have stated that their kids are doing amazing there. My friends knew another family who emigrated to Canada and eventually the parents came back but the DC (late teens who had been there 5 years) downright refused.

They need Trader Joes though to make it perfection.😂Was getting a tad fed up with Hannafords although I have to say all the scaremongering re US food isn’t true. I’m a true remainer and have been really surprised how much easier and cheaper it is to buy nitrate free processed meat here( none where I shop at home but loads here), hormone free meat, organic is cheaper than at home and I loved the local farmer produce they have in the entrance, such a good idea. Sulphate free toiletries cheaper here and more widely available. We’ve been lead to believe we’ll be eating shite after Brexit with more US imports.

The smell when walking in the woods. I’ve loaded the car up with Paines fir balsam to inhale when we get home.😂

This thread is making me laugh, I have lived in the US for a long time and much prefer it to the UK. The US is 50 states all of which are like their own country with their own laws on almost everything. You can't taint the whole country with one brush. I live in California now, the state is extremely liberal, at the forefront of environmental issues, has stricter gun laws, no worries about abortion rights etc. Generous social welfare policies (that some people hate). Pretty much nothing like the US is painted in this thread. It's also diverse, LA is pretty much 50% latino and even if some towns are richer/whiter you are all still living in one big melting pot.
Yes, medical bills can be high but usually there is a way to work things out. No one has a baby die in the NICU because insurance won't pay! In general the quality of healthcare is very good and I'm sure in many cases much better than the US. You are still entitled to be treated if you don't have insurance, some people may fear going to the dr. because of insurance issues but that doesn't mean they will be left to die,
Overall I would say things are actually pretty similar, some kids play outside more, some don't. Some people walk everywhere and use public transit, some don't. Some state schools are great, some aren't. Same complaints about the US and the UK. I will say I find Americans to be much friendlier and more optimistic, I find Brits love to complain more and play the martyr a lot instead. Also the food issue, not sure why some people think US food is so bad, where I live we have organic supermarkets, farmers markets and a huge selection of amazing restaurants selling healthy, fresh food. People in general are health and environment conscious, far more so than anyone I know in the UK but I know that isn't true of everywhere. The fact is the choice between the two is really down to preference because there isn't that much between them!

You are still more likely to be hit by a car on the way to school than be murdered in a school shooting. Shootings are terrible but no one is letting that get in the way of their daily life.

@britinnyc interesting you say 'it doesn't get in the way of a daily life'. The gun culture and school shootings definitely motivated us to move back after 18 years. We'd made our home in Atlanta, own a business there and have 2 American born children. We're all US citizens but still chose to return and give up our lifestyle there because I couldn't reconcile myself with the abundance and acceptance of guns.

There are lots of generalizations on here and in the end it's horses for courses and we can all justify our own decisions.

This New Yorker article resonated with me www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/08/20/a-new-citizen-decides-to-leave-the-tumult-of-trumps-america

@whotheeff fair enough, I can understand that you personally weren't comfortable with the gun culture. Again it probably does depend where you live, even my most conservative republican friends are horrified by the current gun laws, I just don't live in an area accepting of gun culture so don't feel this issue on a daily basis besides a vague, general fear. But it isn't much different to me than the fear of terrorist attacks etc. which we have had on both sides of the Atlantic, you can't dwell on it on a daily basis. You can be uncomfortable enough with the culture to prefer not to live there, for me the benefits of my life in the US far outweigh the negatives.

@britinnyc it's very different from terrorist attacks. Mass shootings only happen in the USA.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/ListoffmassshootingssintheeUnitedStatessin_2019

@whotheeff not saying they don't happen or aren't unique to the US just that on a daily basis it isn't something I think about. Just like earthquakes, terrorist attacks or being run over crossing the street. I choose not to dwell and live in fear (but that doesn't mean I don't participate in efforts to do something about the gun problem) In 20 years in the US, always in big cities, I have never seen a gun except on a police officer so I am far removed from the world of open carry that's for sure, maybe I would change my views if I lived somewhere where that was an issue or if I had to worry about my kids having playdates at someone's house where there was a gun. That hasn't been my reality but I can see how if it was it would make a huge difference in the impact of this stuff on your day to day life

I am finding it hard to believe that the UK is so much more materialistic than the US as many PPs are saying... is this true? Don't a lot of the materialistic customs (Black Friday, baby showers, excessive Halloween, prom, big hen and stag dos) come from the US or am I wrong? Have we warped them and made them more materialistic here? Not trying to offend, genuinely surprised at that assessment though.

@dayslikethese1 I think it depends where you live. Atlanta was horrendously materialistic - cosmetic surgery, cars, designer bags and clothes, high end restaurants etc. yet a few miles outside town it's like another world where folk are driving 20 year old pick up trucks and hanging on porches without a care in the world. We lived in one of the wealthiest zip codes in the states and drove by mansions every day to school to sit behind RRs and Tesla's in car pool. Wealth was in your face and flaunted. Old money and new - sports teams, Coca Cola, turner, CNN etc....

Really interesting stats and shows how segregated the South still is...90% white in 30327 yet Tyler Perry and Sanjay Gupta lived in our neighborhood.

www.unitedstateszipcodes.org/30327/

I can honestly say I don't think I've been anywhere in the world that is as unmaterialistic as Maine.

Ahh you've been to my local Lobster Shack OP. Did you try the candlepin bowling at Sebasco?

We have 2 weeks of summer left and I plan to do make the most of it with my kids.

All countries have their problems, Canada is often billed as a beacon of tolerance but all the studies show their racism problem is far worse than the US'.
Interesting stats in this article, particularly re the murder rate and educational drop out in First Nation communities.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.macleans.ca/news/canada/out-of-sight-out-of-mind-2/amp/

One of the most recent studies found that 50% of Canadians hold racist views and see no problems in expressing those in public.

I suppose the difference is very few Canadians will admit Canada's racism problems (this is noted in studies too), whereas most people here in the US are very aware of our country's shortcomings, also noted in studies, and if you refuse to accept there's a problem, or worse yet think there was but you fixed it, then things are never going to change.

I still love it here in the US, we have the BEST candy corn. Yum . I've attached a picture of some of the different flavors to help illustrate our cultural superiority

Think my dc have probably tried most of those flavours.

Certainly did Dr. Loved that place at Two Lights. What got us was how quick the line went down and how polite everybody was in line.Masses of seating outside and quick servers. Has been the same everywhere we’ve gone. Sitting there overlooking the sea was just lovely, you don’t need anything else, so relaxed, decent food.Bet it’s lovely and cosy inside in the winter.

Does it make up for the bad chocolate? ;

@whotheeff it's very different from terrorist attacks. Mass shootings only happen in the USA.

www.investors.com/politics/editorials/sorry-despite-gun-control-advocates-claims-u-s-isnt-the-worst-country-for-mass-shootings/

So who's tops? Surprisingly, Norway is, with an outlier mass shooting death rate of 1.888 per million (high no doubt because of the rifle assault by political extremist Anders Brevik that claimed 77 lives in 2011). No. 2 is Serbia, at just 0.381, followed by France at 0.347, Macedonia at 0.337, and Albania at 0.206. Slovakia, Finland, Belgium, and Czech Republic all follow. Then comes the U.S., at No. 11, with a death rate of 0.089.

That's not all. There were also 27% more casualties from 2009 to 2015 per mass shooting incident in the European Union than in the U.S.

"There were 16 cases where at least 15 people were killed," the study said. "Out of those cases, four were in the United States, two in Germany, France, and the United Kingdom."

"But the U.S. has a population four times greater than Germany's and five times the U.K.'s, so on a per-capita basis the U.S. ranks low in comparison — actually, those two countries would have had a frequency of attacks 1.96 (Germany) and 2.46 (UK) times higher."

The article is from 2018. I think you can add New Zealand to the list.

They love the choc even vomit tasting Hershey’s. You can get good chocolate here really easily, I should know. 😂

Eatenbydinosaurs, I call bullshit on racism being worse here. The murder rates are higher among FN Canadians, but that is mostly down to domestic abuse (granted this is terrible, but it’s not like the non-First Nations is killing Indigenous people).

It’s apples and oranges. A lot of Indigenous people still live in rural and non-rural reserves. This affects stats. Yes, a lot of FN kids drop out, but a lot of the FN kids I know who dropped out went on to get jobs in fishing, logging, and other decently-paid manual labour work. And the grad rate (at least in my city) has risen sharply in recent years. In my family we have quite a few high school and university graduates (my nieces and nephews). And while there are a lot of problems with the federal-provincial-band relations there have been huge changes (partly due to people like the Wet’su’wetun working through the court system to have indigenous governance taken into account).

I guess I feel that our country is working hard on reconciliation and waving frantically at us to detract from a very different historical problem down in America, does us a disservice.

Maine’s big isn’t it. Been driving since 9 and think we’re still in it.😂

Lol Owlbabies I guess it’s too early for leaves turning

Now that was spectacular from Mass to Canada

Yes I think it is, would love to do an Autumn trip. Summer is lovely though, nice atmosphere and so outdoorsy. Also it has been warm every day. Have worn shorts daily for nearly a month.😱

@Owlbabie5 Have you tried Ghirardelli's chocolates? They're based in San Francisco but are owned by Lindt. I rather like their dark chocolates.

Maine’s big isn’t it. Been driving since 9 and think we’re still in it.

It's quite quick driving north/south (I used to do Portland to Caribou fairly often), but east to west you're buggered

We're heading up to Massachusetts in late September for Homecoming and Family weekend at DS's university. The foliage should be spectacular. We're lucky we got the hotel reservations we wanted.

No will look out for that.Trader Joes own brand milk was surprisingly good.