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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To ask if you would give up your seat?

136 replies

eidajbaby · 15/08/2019 19:46

I was on the tube home and the train was busy but not overly packed. A man got onto the train with a pushchair. He asked the lady who was stood next to me if she could move so he could park his pushchair in the bay. She moved. He then walked over and asked if he could have my seat (which was next to the bay). I looked up and said “I’m sorry?” and he repeated his question. I was about taken aback because I didn’t see that he had any right to ask me to give up my seat, but then I thought I would feel a bit of a dick refusing! I’m genuinely interested in what others would do in this situation. I still don’t know whether I should have said no... I wouldn’t have expected anyone to give their seat up for me when I had my little one in a pushchair. CF? Thoughts?

OP posts:
escapade1234 · 15/08/2019 19:47

Why couldn’t he stand up next to the pram?

FudgeBrownie2019 · 15/08/2019 19:48

Me personally, yes, because I'm fit, well and young enough to be able to offer a seat without it causing me any inconvenience, and because you can't know by looking if someone has a condition or a disability that they might not want to announce publicly.

You have no responsibility to anyone else, but if you can, it never hurts.

escapade1234 · 15/08/2019 19:49

Oh, were you in a seat marked for disabled/people with children?

DanielRicciardosSmile · 15/08/2019 19:51

If there were other empty seats available, then yes I would move. I have often done so in the past so someone with a pushchair doesn't have to stand.

CircleCircleUnderOver · 15/08/2019 19:51

Young people, male, female, parents.... All can be disabled.

pigsDOfly · 15/08/2019 19:52

No. Why should he expect to take someone's seat because he has a pushchair. Ridiculous.

CF.

LatteLove · 15/08/2019 19:52

If I was in a priority seat, yes, otherwise in these circumstances, no.

I’d always stand for someone blind/pregnant/old/visibly disabled (yes I know there are plenty of invisible disabilities but I’m not a mind reader, and I could well have one myself)

Rubbinghimsweetly2 · 15/08/2019 19:52

I would have just offered my seat.

drsausage · 15/08/2019 19:53

If me moving to another seat meant he could sit next to the pushchair then yes, I'd move.

If there were no other seats to move to then no.

LatteLove · 15/08/2019 19:53

If there were other empty seats available, then yes I would move.

Yes I would move then in the circs in the OP, but not to stand.

Original poster
eidajbaby · 15/08/2019 19:57

There were no other empty seats. There’s so much awareness around invisible disabilities these days that I did think I would rather stand up then take the risk of embarrassing someone but honestly I think he felt entitled to the seat as he has the pushchair. No it wasn’t a priority seat.

OP posts:
Lockheart · 15/08/2019 19:57

The priority seats are for those carrying children in their arms, not those who are unburdened because they're children are in a pram.

I'd have moved if there were other empty seats, otherwise no.

Lockheart · 15/08/2019 19:59

*Their children

cadburyegg · 15/08/2019 19:59

Let me get this straight. I am sitting on a seat next to a pushchair containing a child. A parent asks me to move so they can sit near their child. There are other seats for me to sit on. Yes, of course I would move. Why wouldn’t I?! Hmm

Original poster
eidajbaby · 15/08/2019 20:01

There were no other seats. He was asking me to stand

OP posts:
cadburyegg · 15/08/2019 20:01

Oh, I see. It seemed from your “busy but not packed” description that there were other available seats. From your latest post no YANBU. He was being a CF.

Expressedways · 15/08/2019 20:01

No other seats?! Then I would have said no.

Bibijayne · 15/08/2019 20:01

Yup @cadburyegg - that's my thinking.

managedmis · 15/08/2019 20:02

So you didn't need to move then

drsausage · 15/08/2019 20:02

There were no other empty seats.

I've been thinking about this, and actually I would give up my seat. It's tough to get a child in a pushchair to the Tube, and it's a long time since I looked after my own small children but I remember it being pretty tiring. My life's a lot easier now. So actually, thinking about it I probably would give up my seat and stand up so that the parent (male or female) could have a rest.

Doje · 15/08/2019 20:02

Yes, I would. I'd think if he's asking, then he needs it for a reason.

I'm fit and healthy and would have no problem standing, so why not.

Original poster
eidajbaby · 15/08/2019 20:03

Haha from the mix of responses I can tell I’m not being unreasonable in being confused as to what would be a fair response!

OP posts:
Doje · 15/08/2019 20:03

And yes, as PP says, if you've got a kid on the tube, chances are you've had a shit day!

BuildBuildings · 15/08/2019 20:04

He could have an invisible disability so I would have moved. But I think if he did would probably have said something like I can't stand could I sit down please.

LolaSmiles · 15/08/2019 20:04

I wouldn't move to stand. I'd move for another seat though

There's no right to a seat for pushing a pushchair.

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