To ask if you would give up your seat?

[eidajbaby]

I was on the tube home and the train was busy but not overly packed. A man got onto the train with a pushchair. He asked the lady who was stood next to me if she could move so he could park his pushchair in the bay. She moved. He then walked over and asked if he could have my seat (which was next to the bay). I looked up and said “I’m sorry?” and he repeated his question. I was about taken aback because I didn’t see that he had any right to ask me to give up my seat, but then I thought I would feel a bit of a dick refusing! I’m genuinely interested in what others would do in this situation. I still don’t know whether I should have said no... I wouldn’t have expected anyone to give their seat up for me when I had my little one in a pushchair. CF? Thoughts?

To the PP's saying 'if he didn't have a hidden disability..' etc- how would OP know if he did or didn't?

And what if OP had a hidden disability?

I'd have asked why. If he was genuinely in need then of course I'd move. If he just fancied a seat and thought a pushchair was his free ticket, well tough luck sunshine.

There was a double buggy parked in the aisle so it made it difficult to get down the train on my journey. It was a safety issue.

I don't think ywbu

I would have moved.
Some babies / toddlers get really upset if another adult is closer than mum or dad, esp during an attachment phase. Also why not?
Unless I was disabled, pregnant, elderly or had my child with me, of course I would move. In fact I would have offered. Much better for baby to be next to dad than a stranger.

He had a nerve. CF.

I’d have asked why first!

I get this all the time with wheelchair spaces. We park the wheelchair with DD in it, but people refuse to move from the spaces next to them. This leaves DD sitting in really close quarters to complete strangers who insist on talking to her, which makes her really uncomfortable. And at 5ft, there often isn’t anything I can hold on to to stand on a moving tram/train. We had one couple refused to move even though there were other spaces. I said “fine, we’ll move up to the back of the carriage. She isn’t always sick on trains so you might be lucky this time” They moved pretty sharpish.

And what if OP had a hidden disability?

Then she shouldn’t feel bad for saying no.

Yabbers that’s a brilliant response!

There is no point in saying “what if OP had an invisible disability?” Because I take it, you don’t OP? And we don’t know if the dad did or didn’t. He may well have. But if you don’t OP, then what’s the problem? Why are people so territorial about seats when they are perfectly capable of standing?
Most people spend far too much time sitting anyway. Studies have shown even standing up for 5 minutes every hour can reduce your diabetes risk.

I would not have hesitated for a second to say “no, you have no need of my seat”.

CF.

I’d give it up. Public transport is the only break I get from looking after my Son al day. He loves a bus and will happily entertain himself. People with you kids have it hard. You certainly don’t have to give it up but as a parent I’d be very grateful if you did.

Why are people so territorial about seats when they are perfectly capable of standing?

By that argument no one but the disabled would sit in a train. Some people have had hard days, some people just want to sit down. Why should they give it up to CFs if they got there first?

If someone asks for a seat then stand up (unless you're unable to). Otherwise you're a dick.

OP, which line was this? I ask because, the way Jubilee line carriages are laid out, once you've wedged a pram into that space, the only way you can keep an eye on your child is to stand behind it. If you were sitting down, you wouldn't be able to see your child. Not sure about other lines.

I wouldn’t have moved

When I wasn’t pregnant I would give up my seat if asked but wouldn’t offer one to a parent in a pushchair unless they were also holding a child. Now I’m pregnant and in this heatwave I’m a danger to myself and others and so wouldn’t be able to give up my seat even if asked. I’ve taken to avoid commuting as much as possible.

This man asked if he could have the seat. From OP he did not demand and was not aggressive so I don’t see him as a CF at all.

I have an invisible, but variable disability. If someone asks for a seat and I could stand I would. If not “I’m sorry no”.

It’s really hard for me to get the pluck to ask for a seat even the disability ones and I need it so if I can I’ll stand.

I’ve given up my seat for elderly people before and so have my children. I wouldn’t move for someone with a pram .

Depends very much on the way he asked....

If it was a command, then I'd say no.

No because I have a foot injury and couldn't stand for that long without it causing pain. In the past, yes I would have, because I wouldn't mind standing (in fact might've preferred it as it is healthier).

Why are people so territorial about seats when they are perfectly capable of standing?

Because standing on public transport is uncomfortable and you get buffeted around and also I like to sit and read my book. That OK with you?