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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DP's being a bit cheeky in asking me to do this? (So trivial it's ridiculous).

145 replies

GreatBigMeanie · 15/08/2019 19:14

DP gets in from work trip fairly late tonight and has asked me to drive into town to pick him up (5 miles) to take him from station to his work so he can collect his car and drive to mine while I drive to mine separately.

It's 0.7 miles from station to his work, a 10 min walk or 4 min taxi. He's fit as a fiddle and not carrying any sort of heavy bags.

It's not a big deal, I love him and want to do nice, helpful things for him but this just seems a wee bit.......ridiculous and selfish? I would never ask similar of him.

Prepared to be told I'm a mardy old bag.

AIBU?

OP posts:
OhioOhioOhio · 15/08/2019 21:10

He's a cheeky fkr. He shouldn't ask. Be kind to yourself first. That's what he's doing.

OoohRhubarbLetsGo · 15/08/2019 21:23

He’s taking the piss a bit here. I could understand picking him up and bringing him home, but it seems crazy for you to do a 10mile round trip to drive him to his own car, which is a few minutes walk away. It’s like him asking you to stay up late and do a 10 mile trip to drive him across the car park.

He managed the journey in the opposite direction on his own.

He could easily get a taxi. He doesn’t want to pay.

He didn’t want to pay to park but will happily use up your fuel.

DH and I often pick one another up from town at night, and might stay up late to do so- but not when the other person’s car is 10 times closer and they’ll be driving it anyway!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 15/08/2019 21:24

My dh would always pick me up after a long day, and I'd do the same for him.

I can't help wondering what some of these replies would be if the situations were reversed.

OrchidInTheSun · 15/08/2019 21:27

No, it wouldn't ask someone to go out a 10 pm to collect me when it's a 10 minute walk to my car. How silly and what a waste of resources

yikesanddang · 15/08/2019 21:32

Jeez, I take it everyone who is saying that he is being lazy and should not dare to ask to be picked up NEVER asks their partner to make them a tea/coffee or run a bath for them....

Fillipe · 15/08/2019 21:35

Why are some posters ignoring the fact that OP is unwell and needs to get up early in the morning?

MonChatEstMagnifique · 15/08/2019 21:35

He's your partner, I don't think it's cheeky. Maybe he's had a bad day and it doesn't take much effort to pick him up, even with a cold.

My OH and I would do this for each other without thinking but everyone's relationship is different. Say no if you don't want to do it.

Scrowy · 15/08/2019 21:39

Should an able bodied man walk just over half a mile (bearing in mind primary school children are expected to be able to walk 2 miles to school before they are offered free transport) or should OP get out of bed to do a 10 mile round trip to drive him half a mile?

Tricky...

Tell him to walk it and get his steps in for the day.

KimchiLaLa · 15/08/2019 21:40

Nah sorry I wouldn't ask if I were him. I would get a taxi to the office to collect the car, then drive back. Can't he expense that?

MonChatEstMagnifique · 15/08/2019 21:41

Why are some posters ignoring the fact that OP is unwell and needs to get up early in the morning?

I don't think they're ignoring it but it's just a cold. And she said she usually goes to bed around that time and it's only a short drive so she can be in bed not long after. But as I said before, she can always say no.

Scrowy · 15/08/2019 21:42

Jeez, I take it everyone who is saying that he is being lazy and should not dare to ask to be picked up NEVER asks their partner to make them a tea/coffee or run a bath for them....

unless the bath or kettle is 0.7 miles away it's not really comparable

Also he's not asking to be picked up, he's asking to be taxied the 5 -10 minute walk to his car.

amusedbush · 15/08/2019 21:45

A ten mile trip to drive him 0.7 miles? 😂

I don’t even think I’d dignify that with a response. It would be different if he was asking you to pick him up and drive him home but that’s ridiculous!

It might be kind to take him to his car but it’s not very considerate for him to ask that of you in the first place.

soupey1 · 15/08/2019 21:50

YANBU unless the weather where you are is dreadful. I do pick DH up often but if I am unwell as I am at the moment he wouldn’t dream of asking.

Zillie77 · 15/08/2019 21:50

If I were your husband I’d call a taxi instead.

PamelaTodd · 15/08/2019 22:01

I don’t think he’s being cheeky; I think he’s being selfish and thoughtless. Does he have form for being a bit self centered?

It’s also a little -how to put this- illogical? It’s the sort of thing I’d suggest before by brain kicked in and I’d realize that it made no sense.

I’d say no OP because if you don’t prioritize your health it doesn’t sound like he will.

Lumene · 15/08/2019 22:04

I’m not sure. Would he happily do it for you do you think?

eurochick · 15/08/2019 22:07

10 miles of vehicle emissions to save a walk of under a mile? No way!

Charley50 · 15/08/2019 22:16

I think he's cheeky to ask. Yes it's lovely getting a lift sometimes, but not for a less-than 10 minute walk, when your partner would be in bed by then anyway, and is ill.
Just say no, you don't feel well.

CecilyP · 15/08/2019 22:19

I can't help wondering what some of these replies would be if the situations were reversed.

I have thought about the situation in reverse. My office is slightly further from the station and my home is only 2 miles from the town centre but there is no way on earth I would ask a partner to pick me up just to drive me less an a mile to pick up my car. If I was too tired to walk I’d get a cab. The DPs walk is actually so short that most cabbies would be peed off getting him as a fare!

llangennith · 15/08/2019 22:28

Also, he's been networking and listening to speeches and eating complimentary mini quiches. And has spent the last two nights in the pub. He's not been overseeing Apollo 11 😂.

😂😂😂

Sunbeam18 · 15/08/2019 22:33

Why does everyone think he's the only one who has been working?

DappledThings · 15/08/2019 22:41

Have lots of people only read the first half of OP's first sentence? He's not asking to be picked up to be taken the 5 miles home.

YANBU. There's no way I'd drive 10 miles to save DH an under 1 mile walk and it wouldn't cross either of our minds to ask. Completely ridiculous.

Graphista · 15/08/2019 23:44

Where does he live? Far from his workplace?

Is there public transport from your place to his work he could use in the morning?

Does he do similar favours for you op? With good grace?

Seems to me there's too many on this thread expecting the presumed woman to be the "kind" one.

"Funny how different responses are when it is a man needing to be ferried about!" Isn't it just!!

I actually think it's pretty selfish of him to have even asked in the first place!

Op says they're up early for work tomorrow so was likely up early for work today and has out in a day's work themselves and also has a cold AND this request will delay them getting to bed and to sleep, being active like this doesn't just mean they're getting to bed later but could well mean they take longer to get to sleep due to the disruption to routine...

...all so op's partner can avoid a 10 min walk?!

Please!

Hope you told him you're feeling too rough and need an early night (doesn't sound untrue) and he'll have to make his own way either to collect his car and drive to yours (or his?) or make his own way to wherever he's staying the night.

GabsAlot · 15/08/2019 23:46

Youre 5 miles away and hes under a mile from his car?

Nope and im married-my dh walks a mile to the station every day

AcrossthePond55 · 15/08/2019 23:49

That'd be a NO from me. Drive 10 miles round trip to save him a .7 mile walk, or a taxi fare? Nope.

Tell him you've been at the 'medicinal' brandy and are not fit to drive.