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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DP's being a bit cheeky in asking me to do this? (So trivial it's ridiculous).

145 replies

GreatBigMeanie · 15/08/2019 19:14

DP gets in from work trip fairly late tonight and has asked me to drive into town to pick him up (5 miles) to take him from station to his work so he can collect his car and drive to mine while I drive to mine separately.

It's 0.7 miles from station to his work, a 10 min walk or 4 min taxi. He's fit as a fiddle and not carrying any sort of heavy bags.

It's not a big deal, I love him and want to do nice, helpful things for him but this just seems a wee bit.......ridiculous and selfish? I would never ask similar of him.

Prepared to be told I'm a mardy old bag.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Beautiful3 · 15/08/2019 19:57

Tell him to get a taxi.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 15/08/2019 19:57

Tell him you have had a couple of glasses of wine and can't drive so he can make his own arrangements. I understand about being in bed early - I am normally asleep by 10 at the latest!

IamtheOA · 15/08/2019 19:58

Even if he is being cheeky, is it beyond the bounds of love to do your partner a favour.

This world makes me sad sometimes

Original poster
GreatBigMeanie · 15/08/2019 19:59

I'm a bit baffled by the kindness comments.

Surely it's kinder to your unwell partner to not ask them to do this? Kindness is a two way street isn't it?

Also, he's been networking and listening to speeches and eating complimentary mini quiches. And has spent the last two nights in the pub. He's not been overseeing Apollo 11 😂.

OP posts:
Nearlyalmost50 · 15/08/2019 20:03

I would say 'I'd love to pick you up but I've got a stinking cold, sorry' and my husband would say 'no problems, don't come out, I'll make my own way home' and do so.

Problem solved, stupid for a sick person to go out at 10 at night to pick up a non-sick one who could get a taxi.

CatteStreet · 15/08/2019 20:05

I'm a bit shocked at the number of people who would pander to this request because the poor lamb's 'been working'.

Full disclosure: my dh often picks me up from the station a 10-minute walk away when I've been on a work trip, but I would never expect it and I would never, ever ask, unless the weather was truly atrocious (severe weather warning atrocious).

This sort of completely unnecessary journey should be out on climate change grounds, quite apart from anything else.

Sicktobloodydeath · 15/08/2019 20:07

Yababu I think. I always offer to pick my partner up from anywhere regardless and he’d do the same for me. Tbh I’d probably pick him up and offer to take him to work when he’s next in to save him having to get his car. But if you don’t feel up to it I’d just tell him that

zackly · 15/08/2019 20:07

What a waste of petrol. Ridiculous.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 15/08/2019 20:10

Sounds ridic to me and I'm all for 'doing nice things' for each other
His car is ten minute walk away from station which he then has to drive home... Hmm
It wouldn't even occur to me to ask someone to come out on another car to cover a 10 minute walk/4min taxi

TimeForNewStart · 15/08/2019 20:10

For less than a ten minute walk? I would think less of him for asking!

SoyDora · 15/08/2019 20:14

I’m sure my DH would do this for me if I asked... but I wouldn’t ask, as it’s ridiculous and lazy.
He wouldn’t ask me either. He’s far too kind, and would prefer I stayed home and rested if I had a stinking cold.

minibroncs · 15/08/2019 20:16

Thing is, being kind to your partner works both ways. It's not kind of him to ask.

This.

It's not a ten minute trip from your home, it's five miles from home but a ten minute walk for him to his car.

Being kind and being a doormat aren't the same. Saying no to things doesn't make someone unkind or mean they don't love their partner. How ridiculous.

StarEclipse · 15/08/2019 20:17

Anyone remember the recent thread where an OP moaned about her male partner being late to pick her up at the station?

Everyone piled on to say she was BU as he had gone out of his way and most added that she should have walked home!

Funny how different responses are when it is a man needing to be ferried about!

adaline · 15/08/2019 20:20

It's a 10 minute walk!

YANBU at all. Tell him you're not well and you're already in bed. He can get a taxi if he doesn't want to walk.

Teacakeandalatte · 15/08/2019 20:21

Say you aren't feeling well , can't he get a taxi.

Penguincity · 15/08/2019 20:21

He wants you to drive 10 miles to save himself a 10 minute walk? That would be a no from me, and I would not expect anyone to do it for me

eddielizzard · 15/08/2019 20:23

Well he's not showing much consideration... If he has form for being inconsiderate I'd tell him I was too ill.

chaosmaker · 15/08/2019 20:24

Not environmentally sound either
Def NBU

windmill121 · 15/08/2019 20:25

This is completely what my husband would go out of his way to do for me as he loves me and always shows it by doing the unnecessary things that just make you feel better !!

Iggly · 15/08/2019 20:26

A disingenuous comparison @StarEclipse because that OP was moaning that the dh did something else on his way then went to collect her.

That was different. She should have walked but she asked him to collect and he did but decided something else was more important first.

Why are people so desperate to see double standards when they don’t exist.

Postmanbear · 15/08/2019 20:28

YANBU for a ten minute walk he is being ridiculous!!

AngelasAshes · 15/08/2019 20:29

I don’t think it’s cheeky.
10pm is still late and the area may be less safe that time to walk from station to work.
I’d do it in a heartbeat, cold or no cold.

museumum · 15/08/2019 20:33

Not a chance we’d use the car driving all over just to avoid a ten minute walk with no big bags!
How lazy and terrible for the environment and local traffic congestion.
Bloody hell I despair.

AngelasAshes · 15/08/2019 20:34

@StarEclipse
That OP arrived at 3 in the afternoon and had a 4minute walk but complained because DH was 8 minutes late to get her. Everyone said she is being unreasonable to complain about him being late. Completely different scenario.

AngelasAshes · 15/08/2019 20:34

Hopefully he won’t get stabbed....your call though.