AIBU to be embarrassed about mowing the lawn?

[Folicky]

Or maybe not unreasonable, but rather am I being neurotic in being embarrassed about mowing my own lawn?

I’m a single parent. I used to have a large front & rear garden and paid to have it mowed. I’m moved to a house on a smaller plot and it is definitely feasible that I mow the lawn. The only thing is, I think it advertises the fact that we’re without a geezer. And while I live semi-rurally, there are a little knot of houses around me, so others could see me doing it and I’m likely to be doing it at times when other people are around (evening or weekends) as I work regular full time hours. Maybe, I’m being a bit sensitive about it because my new & closest neighbours are being very boundaried / dick-ish if I ask for advice about anything eg whats’ the best gp surgery in the locality? Do you need BT and a satellite dish to get a good signal (it’s rural)?, etc. They seem to see that asking for advice as a sign that I’m a bottomless pit of requests when really they’ve been questions about quite discrete areas of life. I think they must have had a bad experience in the past. Somewhere in my psyche I think they’ll see me pushing a lawnmower in my garden as a request for help (it isn’t, I don’t want them or him in my garden) and it will feel awkward. I also don’t want to be adopting a stance of placating my new neighbours when they’re probably a bit difficult. That wouldn’t feel good to me, I don’t think.

Any other dude-less (for the moment) mothers feel this way?

Any solutions? From emboldening words to suggestions about early morning mowing, and advice welcome. Thanks.

Try not to overthink it. Your neighbours have probably already noticed there's no man about.

My married friend is the one who mows the lawn in her household and no eyebrows are raised. Mowing the lawn early will attract more attention if it wakes people up.

I raised my daughter alone and it never once crossed my mind to worry about appearing manless.

From what you've said about your neighbours, I doubt any offers of help would be forthcoming anyway.

You are what you are and don't need to apologise for yourself or your family set up.
Crack on and don't give them any headspace, life is hard enough without worrying about what inconsequential people think.

I have a husband but I still mow the lawn. I've seen plenty of women mowing the lawn.

I'm in Australia so maybe it's different here? But I really wouldn't think anything of it.

I think you are 100% overthinking this. I can’t imagine any of your neighbours will pay any attention to you mowing your lawn.

I actually think they are more likely to see an overgrown garden as a sign you want someone to mow it for you (to be clear, I don’t think they would actually see this as a request for help, just that of the two scenarios, an un-mown lawn is more likely to lead to them thinking you want help mowing the lawn).

I mow the lawn as dp if useless. As. Does my sister due to her dp hours, no one has ever said anything u til I was around 35 weeks pregnant and someone said you prob shouldn't be doing that love as it might hurt you.

I do have a DH but whoever is free mows the lawn. It's not a man's only job. If your new neighbours are the judgy type I expect they'll judge you far more for an over grown lawn rather than give a toss about who mows it. My DDad has never mown the lawn in his life I don't think. It's always been something my DMum enjoyed so by default it's her job.

Yep 🙋‍♀️I feel the same. Luckily I have ds14 & ds19, that can do it. Although it is normally ds14 that does it. I totally get where you are coming from!

I dug over, raked, seeded, brick edged and also yes, mow my lawn. I also mow the lawns of my neighbough.

Stop it with this utter nonsense of only men mowing lawns.

You're hugely overthinking this
Plus women mow lawns too!

Your totally overthinking it, get out there and own your land. Headphones on, lawnmower out and crack on.

Advice: just own it. You'll look confident and competent. Fake it til you make it. Feel empowered by your new skills.

I mow the lawn because dh hates doing it. You’re massively overthinking.

I mow the lawn because Dh has severe hayfever and his eyes would be slits!

You are overthinking this. Maybe your neighbours are just standoffish type people, nothing to do with you being a lone parent.

You seem very self conscious of your lone parent status and embarrassed to not "have a man." You are doing fine. Be confident.

I am with bloke yet mow the lawn. It’s one of my favourite jobs!

I am also the one wielding a chainsaw when we need a tree down. (Wielding the axe to make firewood is all him though).
You are overthinking this.

Sorry your neighbours are dicks though.

I think you’re totally overthinking this!
I am married but I still do the grass cutting in our household and I see many women cutting their grass.
Unless you’ve moved to the 1950’s your probably ok!

I have mown the lawn in the past and never thought about it. I have all sisters and it was mostly me who did it. But dp does seem have his ego weirdly linked to how short our grass is. When he does the grass it's a military operation. There are rakes and brushes involved, I'm not really sure what they're for . When a neighbour cut his grass too early after getting turf put down all the men gossiped about what a mess he'd made of it.

So yes I do understand why you think that cutting the grass will signify that there's no man at home. But, that is the situation and it is definitely not something to be ashamed of. Unless you're really struggling with the mower, I don't think that anyone will see it as a cry for help.

My exH never did the lawn, always me! Now... me! In fact my mum always did my parent's lawn until they discovered the joys of slate and raised borders 😊

Massively overthinking. I mow the lawn in our house, DH can't see the point. An overgrown front garden stands out much more than a woman mowing.
Sounds like your neighbours aren't very neighbourly. Is there a local Facebook group where you could get local information from?

When I see a lady mowing a lawn I think, in order of occurance:

1. Awesome - she's the sort of lady I would be friends with - should invite her over for tea
2. Bet her other half is happy she's so awesome
3. Would she mow my lawn if i asked her?
4. Awesome - she's the sort of lady I would be friends with - should invite her over for tea

Never would I think "oh the poor helpless dead doesn't have a Male around to do physical jobs"

Be the change you wish to see in the world (ie. mowing is not a gender specified sport)

Another married to a man but i always low the lawn!!

I love mowing the lawn! I find it quite meditating. We've quite a big garden and big roadside bit which we do. Put neighbour does his with a ride on, I think I inadvertently embarrassed him last year when I was still doing ours manually at 40 weeks pregnant

I have never noted or even thought for a second about the sex of a person who is mowing the lawn. Who does? People are busy with their own shit.

My mum always mowed the lawn as a single parent and continues to do so now she's re-married!

Err... I’m married, DH is most definitely around and I am the one who mows our lawn. Didn’t actually realise it was considered a mans job! I see plenty of women mowing lawns.

My mother has always been the lawnmower even before my dad died. She’s 80 and can afford but refuses to pay for help as it’s her “excercise”

Errrm I always mow ours, otherwise it’d be up to my knees if I waited for DH to do it.