AIBU to be embarrassed about mowing the lawn?

[Folicky]

Or maybe not unreasonable, but rather am I being neurotic in being embarrassed about mowing my own lawn?

I’m a single parent. I used to have a large front & rear garden and paid to have it mowed. I’m moved to a house on a smaller plot and it is definitely feasible that I mow the lawn. The only thing is, I think it advertises the fact that we’re without a geezer. And while I live semi-rurally, there are a little knot of houses around me, so others could see me doing it and I’m likely to be doing it at times when other people are around (evening or weekends) as I work regular full time hours. Maybe, I’m being a bit sensitive about it because my new & closest neighbours are being very boundaried / dick-ish if I ask for advice about anything eg whats’ the best gp surgery in the locality? Do you need BT and a satellite dish to get a good signal (it’s rural)?, etc. They seem to see that asking for advice as a sign that I’m a bottomless pit of requests when really they’ve been questions about quite discrete areas of life. I think they must have had a bad experience in the past. Somewhere in my psyche I think they’ll see me pushing a lawnmower in my garden as a request for help (it isn’t, I don’t want them or him in my garden) and it will feel awkward. I also don’t want to be adopting a stance of placating my new neighbours when they’re probably a bit difficult. That wouldn’t feel good to me, I don’t think.

Any other dude-less (for the moment) mothers feel this way?

Any solutions? From emboldening words to suggestions about early morning mowing, and advice welcome. Thanks.

Well OP, you’re either the gardening type or you’re not. If you are, the mow the lawn. If not, pay someone else. The neighbours are neither here nor there. Surely they know you’re single anyway?

I must admit, I hate gardening so DH does it. But the nextdoor neighbours hire gardeners - and they are female!

yes, all the people saying she's being ridiculous have not been in her position.

The OP is clearly embarrassed to be single, why that's anyone's guess. But you right, most people on here haven't got a chip on their shoulder like that - what's wrong with being single?

Aren't women allowed to purchase their own property on their own anymore in this country? I must have missed the memo.

@Simkin yes I have been in OP's position thank you, I've been a single parent for the last 5 years. I just don't care about the opinions of anyone else on my single status!

I'd have to agree. It's not normal to be embarrassed to be single and feel like you should have a man to do these things for you. And it doesn't do the op any favours to encourage that weirdness.

I don't understand why she thinks mowing her lawn will be seen as her needing help again from thr husband next door. It's not logical. Unless there is a huge back story here.

@nothingcomesforfree I'm a single parent, have been since my DS was 10 months old and I think OP is being silly. I don't feel self conscious or embarrassed about being single because I don't think my relationship status defines who I am.

To be fair, it might depend on where the OP lives and how she was brought up. A couple of times I've been washing my car at a public car wash and have had a man try to tell me which order to do it in (my answer was "once you're driving the Mercedes then you get tell me how to wash it") and another man also said to me "haven't you got a man to do that for you?" These instances were both around 10 years ago and really surprising to me.

OP you need waaaay more of an attitude!

And to be honest if you care so much what your neighbours think of your relationship status you need to work on your self esteem. I don't give a toss what my neighbours think!

Wow, this is a strange thread. Why do you think only men mow the lawn? Why are you so worried about people knowing you are a single Mother? It’s not the 1950s. I’m so confused.

I have a husband, I still mow the lawn sometimes.

Are you sure you just can’t be arsed? It’s a horrible job and I pay someone else to do it. I’d rather do without other things.

I dunno, I don't think the OP thinks women shouldn't mow the lawn. I don't think she feels embarrassed to be single either. I think she's describing something that's made her feel vulnerable with her neighbours. I have weird awkwardnesses about all sorts of stuff andI understand that self consciousness you can get when a relationship with neighbours is not quite comfortable. Maybe it's something symbolic for her or something. I guess it's ok to say 'you're being over-sensitive' but there's a level of ridicule in some of the replies on this thread that are really uncalled for. I suspect we won't find out because the OP's finding the thread difficult reading.

Mow the lawn 😂 I have a man and this job gets done by the first one of us that decides it needs doing. Let the neighbours talk about it if they need to and they'll Give someone else a rest

I cut my own grass

Much more enjoyable than hoovering

One outside, one inside, essentially the same task

Get a lawn robot. Or, alternatively, geese. Either way, you won’t have to be seen mowing the lawn.

@Oliversmumsarmy get a tipper cart, carts are so much better than barrows as you're not putting stress onto your shoulders.
I won the argument between new barrow and cart as I use it more than DH, but he conceded it was a hell of a lot easier.
Great for hauling gravel around in.

I would love to discuss this further but I’m just off to mow the lawn

I'm married but always mow the lawn. I've never thought much about it!

Alternative idea, turn lean into meadow of wild flowers 'for the bees' - it's quite the thing now dontcha know. No mowing required, good for the planet, and the sort of thing that can really get up the nose of snotty and rude neighbours like you describe.

Wheniwas married I was always doing these tasks and I still am now. I think these old fashioned notions of men's jobs are a bit weird. You're over thinking it.

Call a company to do it, but call a different one each week. That’ll get their tongues wagging

Out of the 27.2m households in the UK, over 11m of them are solo adults, single parents, same sex couples or unrelated adults. Your situation is perfectly normal, nothing to feel embarrassed about in any circumstance.

Interestingly, having a penis is no longer a pre-requisite for lawn mowing either, we are not living in an episode of George & Mildred

I would love to mow the lawn but I'm now banned from using the lawnmower as the one and only time I used our new one I mowed through the cord and nearly electrocuted myself. Also apparently I can't be trusted to mow in straight enough lines, my mowing style is too haphazard.

I did it quite happily when I lived on my own though (haphazardly), I can't see why you would care!

I'm married. My DH has never once mowed the lawn. Always me. As I stay at home and he doesn't I have more time to do it.
Really. Don't overthink this.

I'm a single parent too OP and my neighbours see me take out the bins

I have a husband and I not only now the lawn but I also use a hedge strimmer to do my hedges. And I've been known to use a pressure washer to clean the patio