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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be embarrassed about mowing the lawn?

252 replies

Folicky · 15/08/2019 05:52

Or maybe not unreasonable, but rather am I being neurotic in being embarrassed about mowing my own lawn?

I’m a single parent. I used to have a large front & rear garden and paid to have it mowed. I’m moved to a house on a smaller plot and it is definitely feasible that I mow the lawn. The only thing is, I think it advertises the fact that we’re without a geezer. And while I live semi-rurally, there are a little knot of houses around me, so others could see me doing it and I’m likely to be doing it at times when other people are around (evening or weekends) as I work regular full time hours. Maybe, I’m being a bit sensitive about it because my new & closest neighbours are being very boundaried / dick-ish if I ask for advice about anything eg whats’ the best gp surgery in the locality? Do you need BT and a satellite dish to get a good signal (it’s rural)?, etc. They seem to see that asking for advice as a sign that I’m a bottomless pit of requests when really they’ve been questions about quite discrete areas of life. I think they must have had a bad experience in the past. Somewhere in my psyche I think they’ll see me pushing a lawnmower in my garden as a request for help (it isn’t, I don’t want them or him in my garden) and it will feel awkward. I also don’t want to be adopting a stance of placating my new neighbours when they’re probably a bit difficult. That wouldn’t feel good to me, I don’t think.

Any other dude-less (for the moment) mothers feel this way?

Any solutions? From emboldening words to suggestions about early morning mowing, and advice welcome. Thanks.

OP posts:
cranstonmanor · 15/08/2019 07:35

I'm married and I mow the lawn because I enjoy doing it.

People are really not that interested in other people. Plus your neighbours will have realised that you live alone.

TheBadCop · 15/08/2019 07:36

nice try. I'd give it 2/10!Hmm

PollyPelargonium52 · 15/08/2019 07:36

If they aren't forthcoming about setttling in queries ask staff at the corner shop, if you have one. Or the postman/postlady. My neighbours don't chat either.

redcarbluecar · 15/08/2019 07:37

Just do it and sod what the neighbours think, say or insinuate. Hope though that they turn out to be ok neighbours after your initial unease.

c75kp0r · 15/08/2019 07:40

On the question that you feel you are always see you asking them for help, do you have any amazing skills or things that you can help them out with - or at least offer to make it harder for them to make you feel you are 'making a pest of yourself'?

Assuming you can afford it, could you go armed with cake? Are there community things like a church you can join so you are one of 'them'

Also with time, you'll find out whicehones are miserable sods who won't help their own mother and which ones are delighted to help others and what makes people tick.

OMGshefoundmeout · 15/08/2019 07:41

Lol at only men mowing the lawn! We would live in a jungle if I relied on DH to cut the grass/trim the hedges or in any way do more in the garden than complain about the insects and go back inside.

00100001 · 15/08/2019 07:41

i have no idea who mows the neighbours lawn ... never see them do it, but it is pristine.... Confused

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 15/08/2019 07:44

You’re overthinking things OP. I mow the lawn if I notice it needs doing and I’m free to do it. Before I went back to work I did it most of the time. These days DH does it about 50% of the time. My neighbour always does hers but until it looks like she needs help (she’s older than us but very fit etc) we won’t be asking if she needs our help.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 15/08/2019 07:44

There are still idiots on here who talk about 'pink' jobs and 'blue' jobs as if that is going to help gender stereotypes

Sandybval · 15/08/2019 07:44

What!

SallyWD · 15/08/2019 07:44

I mow my own lawn as does my female neighbour. I don't think it's occurred to either of us that this is "man's work" and our husband's should be doing it....

HostofDaffodils · 15/08/2019 07:45

Are we living in the 1950s? This is really sad.

I'm not saying that being a single parent isn't tough. I'm sure it is - though not as tough as being with the wrong bloke.

Mimi91 · 15/08/2019 07:47

The best time to mow the lawn is late morning or late afternoon. You don't want to scorch the grass doing it in the middle of the day and you don't want to be annoying the neighbours by doing it too early / late in the day. 6pm should be the latest as your lawn needs to "recover" before night sets in (to avoid fungus).

The type of mower you need will depend on the level of your garden. Is it hilly or relatively flat?

P.s. another woman here (with a husband). No such thing as a man's job or a woman's job. If you have a brain and functional limbs, you can do it. Don't worry about your neighbours prejudices, do it with pride 💪

LellyMcKelly · 15/08/2019 07:48

I have a partner, but I mow the lawn. My mum sometimes mows the lawn. It’s not a man or a woman’s job. It’s just a job.

TowerRingInferno · 15/08/2019 07:48

You are overthinking this (and I’m a great over thinker, so really do understand).

I cut our grass 50 % of the time. Dh works away a lot so I have to. I fact, I’d happily do it all the time but it is one of the few jobs dh is keen to do when he is around so I let him do it because it frees up time for me.

Of my neighbours, one is a single father so cuts his grass. One is a single mother so cuts her grass. The other two have someone who comes in - a woman - to cut theirs. Nobody cares who does what though. I think your neighbours would only start noticing if you didn’t cut it and it looked awful.

HisBetterHalf · 15/08/2019 07:51

I mow the lawn. Not sure what the problem is or why anyone would care?

grumiosmum · 15/08/2019 07:51

Where on earth do you live OP?

In my rural idyll there are loads of women who mow the lawn. Including a very posh neighbour who uses here ride-on tractor mower while listening to Radio 4 on her headphones.

I can't imagine judging anyone for their gardening arrangements - although I do get annoyed if people let the weeds go rampant as the seeds blow onto my land.

Idontwanttotalk · 15/08/2019 07:52

"am I being neurotic in being embarrassed about mowing my own lawn?"
Yes.

"The only thing is, I think it advertises the fact that we’re without a geezer."
Wtf? That thought would never cross my mind.

"Maybe, I’m being a bit sensitive about it because my new & closest neighbours are being very boundaried / dick-ish if I ask for advice about anything"
No. You are not being a bit sensitive. You are being very sensitive and totally overthinking this. Are you just a natural worrier?

"They seem to see that asking for advice as a sign that I’m a bottomless pit of requests"
Maybe you are asking too many questions and are appearing to be too needy. Try finding out what you can from Google, GP surgery reviews, Which? report for product reviews.

"Somewhere in my psyche I think they’ll see me pushing a lawnmower in my garden as a request for help"
This shows an unusual thought process. I would naturally assume you don't need help with it as you are doing it.

'I also don’t want to be adopting a stance of placating my new neighbours when they’re probably a bit difficult."
What makes you think they're probably difficult? I suggest just getting on with your life without bothering them and they will probably be fine. Find out info from other sources. They may feel you are invading their nice quiet world and are going to be a nightmare neighbour.

CruellaFeinberg · 15/08/2019 07:53

no one cares that you are "dude-less" or "without a geezer"

new & closest neighbours are being very boundaried / dick-ish if I ask for advice about anything eg whats’ the best gp surgery in the locality? Do you need BT and a satellite dish to get a good signal (it’s rural)?, etc. They seem to see that asking for advice as a sign that I’m a bottomless pit of requests when really they’ve been questions about quite discrete areas of life. I think they must have had a bad experience in the past.

and where are you getting this vibe from? How on earth are you picking this up?

randomsabreuse · 15/08/2019 07:55

I'm married. I sometimes mow the lawn. DH sometimes does the hoovering - mowing isn't a male/female job, it's just a chore that someone has to do...

saoirse31 · 15/08/2019 07:56

I cannot imagine what your life has been that you think so strangely about this. So mow your lawn, enjoy doing it. And remember, actually you're not the centre of the universe and most people wont pay you any attention whatsoever as you mow your lawn or indeed do anything else.

Tonnerre · 15/08/2019 07:59

What does it matter if people know you'e "dudeless"? It doesn't make you an inferior person.

mintoreo · 15/08/2019 07:59

This thread is bizarre... another one here that's married and mows the lawn. It wouldn't even cross my mind to assume a woman mowing the grass is because she is single.... what an odd thought pattern.

GoGoGoGoGo · 15/08/2019 08:04

I mow the lawn, and I’m married to a man, who also sometimes does it.

BeerandBiscuits · 15/08/2019 08:07

Get a push mower. Then you can sneak out in the night when no one's about and do stealth mowing Smile. I love mine, it's really quiet and gives my arms a good work out.