AIBU to be embarrassed about mowing the lawn?

[Folicky]

Or maybe not unreasonable, but rather am I being neurotic in being embarrassed about mowing my own lawn?

I’m a single parent. I used to have a large front & rear garden and paid to have it mowed. I’m moved to a house on a smaller plot and it is definitely feasible that I mow the lawn. The only thing is, I think it advertises the fact that we’re without a geezer. And while I live semi-rurally, there are a little knot of houses around me, so others could see me doing it and I’m likely to be doing it at times when other people are around (evening or weekends) as I work regular full time hours. Maybe, I’m being a bit sensitive about it because my new & closest neighbours are being very boundaried / dick-ish if I ask for advice about anything eg whats’ the best gp surgery in the locality? Do you need BT and a satellite dish to get a good signal (it’s rural)?, etc. They seem to see that asking for advice as a sign that I’m a bottomless pit of requests when really they’ve been questions about quite discrete areas of life. I think they must have had a bad experience in the past. Somewhere in my psyche I think they’ll see me pushing a lawnmower in my garden as a request for help (it isn’t, I don’t want them or him in my garden) and it will feel awkward. I also don’t want to be adopting a stance of placating my new neighbours when they’re probably a bit difficult. That wouldn’t feel good to me, I don’t think.

Any other dude-less (for the moment) mothers feel this way?

Any solutions? From emboldening words to suggestions about early morning mowing, and advice welcome. Thanks.

I am also married to a man and i also do 95% of the lawn mowing and 100% of the gardening in a big garden. I also work. I think you are overthinking it. Go and be proud to mow your lawn that you have with your lovely new house.

OP, have you checked out if your town/village has a community facebook page?

Round here, that's where people get advice about GP surgeries, satellite dishes, etc. (and a lot of lost cats).

I always mow the lawn and do all the gardening, apart from hedge cutting. Is there a law that says women can’t mow lawns? Husband can sit in garden and enjoy it, but goes not know a rose from a daisy

Get one of those robots that mows the lawn - like a roomba for grass.

I moved to a very rural location 5 years ago because I wanted a large garden.
My neighbours are strange. they moved in after us (the man is ok to say hello to, his girlfriend just ignores me unless she is trying to get some village gossip or is drunk )
I do ALL the garden work - lawns cutting, hedge cutting, tree pruning etc... My husband has only ever cut the lawn when I was very heavily pregnant.
I couldn't careless want my neighbours think.

Just do what you need to do and ignore your neighbours.

I think it's weird that you think women mowing lawns is weird! I think it's more weird that women wait for their dh if they have one to mow the lawn. You are massively overthinking it! Just mow the lawn!!!!!

It wouldn't cross my mind to think that a woman was single because she was mowing a lawn. Or that a man was single because he was in the supermarket.

@eddielizzard said up the thread 'I do what the fuck I want'. A great mantra which you should bring into your own life. You could cross stitch it and hang it on your wall.

YABU. I mow my lawn because I'm a lone parent and I don't want to live in a jungle. I'm pretty sure that my neighbours have noticed it's just DS and I or they would be quite unobservant, the nice thing about being British is that everyone is too polite to ask!

I am sure nobody will think anything about you mowing the lawn. Lot's of people really enjoy mowing their lawn, I liked it, haven't done it in a few years due to health stuff. I have probably mowed our lawn equal amount of times to my dh and dc. Even my mother mowed hers, he dh was unable to do so, health issues also. A woman I knewaround the corner did get annoyed because the woman next door to her mowed the back yard lawn in a bikini. She was sure her dh and ds were, in her words "getting an eyefull".

I mow the front garden 99% of the time because dh is too embarrassed to mow the front lawn. I do all of the gardening in the front unless dh is shamed into helping.

He doesn’t like people watching him. Not that they will for more than a few seconds

OP, crack on with the lawn.

Am a woman who does all the gardening and DIY, husband has no skills and no interest. Don't worry about appearances for the neighbours, only a moron would judge you negatively for mowing your lawn. They might get frumpy if yoh don't and it looks scruffy though! People are weird about that...

I'm a single parent. I do all the jobs.

It hasn't really ever occured to me to think about what colour they are (pink or blue).

Everyone knows I'm single. No one really cares.

Lawnmowing single mum here...

OP you are coming across as helpless by just thinking this. Women can mow the lawn, we can even put the bins out!

Oh giveover OP, WTF seriously 😂

The only thing is, I think it advertises the fact that we’re without a geezer.

Don't worry. This thought says more about you, & your own current feelings of geezer-lessness, than anything about your lawn, your neighbours, or your location.

Also ... you do know that it's been legal for women to lawn-mow since ... Agricultural Revolution, don'tcha?

I felt the same the first time I had to mow the lawn, I’m also a single parent and previous garden was a mixture of concrete slabs, stones and turf so no experience of cutting grass until I moved to my current house with a 100 ft garden. I felt embarrassed too but in the end thought ‘stuff em’. I’m a dab hand at ‘man jobs’ since being a single mum, I can now drill, use a screw driver and decorate a whole house I even laid a few carpets so don’t overthink it, If they do make comments stick 2 fingers up and show your kids what an independent woman you are, who needs a man!? Not us

Maybe, I’m being a bit sensitive about it because my new & closest neighbours are being very boundaried / dick-ish if I ask for advice about anything eg whats’ the best gp surgery in the locality?

Stop engaging with them any further, beyond common courtesy.
They are not dickish because you are single.
The are dickish because they are dicks.

You have other neighbours, & will soon form relationships with those who you find agreeable.

I also don’t want to be adopting a stance of placating my new neighbours when they’re probably a bit difficult.
Good instinct. If they feel entitled to ask intrusive questions but can't be arsed to advise about simple stuff like GP & satellite, fuck 'em.
Keep it pleasant but non-commottal, & keep yourself open to nicer people. There are plenty of us about, rurally!

I don’t know what in your post I take the most issue with - the idea only men mow the lawn, the idea that you wouldn’t want to ‘advertise’ not having a man in the house like it’s 1950 and some shameful secret to be an unmarried mother, or the ‘dudeless for now’ comment - I’m single and I’m NOT scrambling around desperately trying to find a man to fill a gap in my life - or to mow my fucking lawn. Get a grip.

Ive done my own garden (with houses backing on so they could see from upstairs if they were nosey which they definitely are not) for the last 18 years. That includes getting on ladders with electric hedgecutters. No one gives a shit and why should they? In fact I used to do the garden when ex was still here, I did it better than him (or he was a lazy twat who made himself look incompetent so he knew I would want to do it)

You're definitely overthinking this. I think I probably mow the lawn more than dh.

I mow the lawns.

Just get on with it, take pride in it, keep the lines straight, etc. try to make it enjoyable rather than a chore.

Another single lawnmowing mum here with a large garden....i have to say this is one of the most bizarre threads ive ever read !!!

My OH is a landscape gardener for a living. I’m a gardener for a living too but more domestic so no van yet. His truck sits outside with his company logo on it but I’m the only one anyone ever sees doing our lawns 😂

Before I met him I was raising 3 kids alone for many years. I cut the grass, changed plugs, put up shelves and all the other ‘man’ stuff. You’re parenting alone, doing what you need to do for your family and it’s hard work but you’re doing it! Please don’t let anyone make you feel ‘less than’, because you’re far from it. Take pride in your situation, make sure other people are seeing the strength you must have and don’t let them get away with assuming weakness on your part.

The only comment that ever stuck in my mind was actually two women who were wrangling with a tent once. They asked if my husband could give them a hand with it. I offered to help them myself and they refused saying that women need a man to do this sort of thing while looking over my head to my tent waiting for the man to appear. I just laughed and said maybe some of us do, I managed to do mine perfectly well alone. It was bigger than theirs too. Its petty I know but I was quite amused when it started to rain and they were getting soaked.

They’ll see you’re more than capable when you deal with things that need doing and aren’t running to ask neighbours hubby to do all your odd jobs! Head up, focus on yourself and ‘thanks but I’m perfectly capable’ or even better, ‘Ive actually already done it, but thanks for the kind offer’ will see you through the worst of it. Ignore probing questions and don’t feel rude or impolite about it, you’re not asking questions about info that should be offered, not asked for.

Congratulations on the move lovely, hope you and LO/LO’s have a wonderful life together there Xx

I mow my own grass without a second thought I wouldn’t worry. It’s just another job that needs doing

You’ve no reason to be embarrassed op. Unless you’re my neighbour who never ever cuts his grass! - he should be thoroughly ashamed

How big is the lawn? We have this little beauty. No cord, it's light and easy to use and store.

I love a good mow.