To be suspicious of this text

[letsjustsee]

Hi ladies,

So ive been dating a guy for a while now (8 months) we get on amazing, he lives 100 miles away from me so makes dating hard, but I'm 100% committed to him and he says he is with me. However;
We were talking tonight via text about him going out with his friend and I get a text saying " I don't understand why you're counting with us 🤦🏻‍♂️♥️ Xxxxxx"

He then proceeded to (in my own opinion) panic and text me straight away saying the text was for his sister, he then called me 7 times, text me 3 times and messaged me on Instagram within 5 mins ( I was in the shower at the time this happened)

I would've thought the text was strange but laughed it off because I had no reason to mistrust him, however his response to this had put me on edge, am I right to have this feeling??? What would you do??

I would have replied with
'Now who is counting. I am counting down too. 3,2,1 you are finished'

I was seeing someone called say bob and text my mate Bob saying we ended up at the hotel drinks after the xmas party, sounds awful but was totally innocent but he does sound guilty and to me its saying their sex doesn't count

Counting is a typo. What other word could it be?

Trust your intuition!!!!

That response actually made me smile... a rarity from MN!

Ah I'm sorry, I could only see one page until I posted? Sorry, now that I posted I can see the other pages.
(Thats not the first time that happened)

Disregard my post and apologies again.

Unless he was actually doing a stock take at work but with someone who he is seeing/fancies/flirting with (not his sister - that was way too far fetched)

Well done OP. What a great way to handle this.

Honourable mention @PoppingOneOutIn2020, your post actually made me laugh out loud. Did you explain your text to your OH?

To be fair I delete texts after they come through, so I don't know if that's indicative of anything, but the whole thing seems totally suspicious.

This takes me back to that time when I was seeing this guy who, a day or so after we'd painfully split, texted me: 'I'm bored. What are you wearing?'. I replied that I didn't think this was meant for me. He said that it was meant for his brother, as they were going to some do together.

Right.

I realised immediately that he'd been seeing someone else at the same time as he'd been seeing me. The insult to my intelligence simply made me glad it was over.

You've handled this in fine style, OP! I'm sorry for your pain but it really sounds as though you're better off without him.

Panicked responses are always suspect.

OP you sound like a cracking woman!

This happened me 7 years ago. Boyfriend of 63 told me he was going on holiday with his sister and sent me a text Meant for the person he was actually taking. Sorry you are not the only person in his life, 100 miles away!!!!

this remind me of the time I got a text from a LTR at 4am:

'What do you want to try'.

You, my dear OP, are a legend. Handled beautifully! Bravo! 👊

The batshit bullshitter wasn't called Rob by any chance was he and mostly living in the Leicestershire area? Sounds like the kind of crap he came out with to his wife whilst playing away recently and he said that was long distance so he hardly saw her, like that somehow makes it less bad! I'm seriously worried for my friend. It seems she's too forgiving and not as on the ball as you. But that's a whole new thread of its own anyway!

10/10 OP

A master class in how to deal with a waster.

Sharp and sweet👍

That fact that he sent a heart and a bunch of kisses to his sister makes it very very weird and IMO unbelievable.

Sadly I’ve been thru something quite similar and I really should have trusted my gut but I felt it was good between us, that he was as committed as me, etc etc. Turned out he was sha**ing everything that walked! He has lived long distance from me. My advice, if it seems strange/odd? Then it usually is. The reason why you’re querying his behaviour now is because your gut instinct is kicking in. So trust it!

Sorry OP, came late into this and have just realised that YEH! You went with your gut and kicked him to the err, “count”??
Can’t tell you how amazed I am at your fast recognition of bu!!sh!t. Well done that woman!
Onwards and upwards😀😃😀

Love the response OP.
Nice one.
I wish others would learn from you.
Onward and upwards.
NEXT.....

Well done OP!

I think he misspelled his explanation though - he meant focktaking, not stocktaking.

Unless you can adopt a stance that you don’t mind or care if he is seeing someone else, this is not looking good for you OP.
Some people can have free relationships and it works but both parties have to be happy with that arrangement. As his explanation doesn’t ring true, suspicion will grow in your relationship. I don’t think this is healthy.
Sorry.

I work in a shop and stocktake is.called counting. That's a lot of kisses for a work colleague though.

My brother sends me hearts and kisses all the time and it's totally normal for us. But his freak out was totally suspect. Good for you op!

I hope you are ok op, you have been very strong but I am sure you are very upset and angry about your relationship ending too?