I have an 8 day old baby girl and my younger sister, though seemingly excited during my pregnancy (buying baby outfits etc) now apparently can’t seem to give a toss and I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable in expecting more from her?
I had a terrible induction followed by failed pushing (baby got stuck) which resulted in emergency c-section and blood loss. Suffice to say birth was a bit of a slog.
Anyway, two days after birth sister came to visit in hospital with my parents. She is nearly thirty but honestly looked like a 14 year old who had been forced to visit an elderly aunt or something. She wasn’t interested at all in hearing about what happened, she didn’t coo over the baby or ask how we were, and then started talking about a meeting with her manager she had later that afternoon and how much she hated her job.
A day later we went home and my parents brought our dog home. I sent her a picture of the dog meeting baby for the first time. Her response was that she was annoyed that my parents had dropped the dog off as she had wanted to walk him from their house that evening.
Since then I’ve sent her a few pics of the baby with no response. I asked her how it went her manager and she told me he’s a dick and she’s looking for a new job and I commiserated with her.
I asked her if she wanted to come for a visit on the weekend but it was a big ho-ha for her as she didn’t have her car (god forbid she could get the bus) so no firm plans where made. We had a really bad night so I texted and asked if we could cancel. She saw the message but no reply so I rang her to explain, she didn’t answer and didn’t phone back.
I again invited her for a visit the following weekend. No response for two days. She then said she’s can’t come as she’s going to a local music festival plus she has interviews during the week so she needed to prepare.
Not once has she asked how I am or how the baby is. I’ve just left it by telling her she should just let me know when she wants to see the baby and wished her luck with her interviews.
Last year, sister was buying a house with her then boyfriend and they were planning on trying for a baby at the start of this year. She found out he’d cheated on her and they broke up. She was heartbroken and didn’t want to move back in with my parents so she moved in with husband and I in December for a month, we looked after her, helped her find a flat etc. It was whilst she was living with us that I found out I was pregnant.
She was a total mess following the break up but has since started seeing someone else, we’ve met him (lovely guy) and he’s met the parents and he’s even going on holiday with sister and my parents in September.
My mum reckons that the birth of the baby is bringing back memories of my sister’s ex, making her think that maybe she might be pregnant herself right about now in the lovely house they were going to buy if he hadn’t cheated.
My sister and aren’t super close but we text a few times a week and meet for coffee/dinner etc every couple of weeks. She is well educated, well travelled, popular and has quite a high-pressure job in trust where she manages quite large sums of money, but sometimes she appear emotionally stunted (unable to hide it if she’s in a bad mood, if she’s grumpy then everyone has to suffer- takes after my dad!)
My question is, should I just let it go? A friend has said that it’s her loss that she’s not getting to know her niece, but this really is bothering me. I have a feeling if I say something then she will react even more negatively. My family have never been the best communicators at the best of times. Does she need time to come round or should I say something?