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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Coming up to three and still in nappies

131 replies

m4mmy0f0ne · 12/08/2019 20:17

My DS is coming up to three (will be three in December) and he's still in nappies, OH parents have said he needs to do it now or he never will.
They said we need to push him to it otherwise he'll always say no to the potty.
AIBU to think that pushing him to take this massive step is the wrong decision?

OP posts:
mamansnet · 14/08/2019 09:42

You've already had loads of great advice on here op, but since my DS is almost the exact same age as yours and training right now, I'll tell you how it's worked/working for us.

The potty had been sat in the bathroom for a good few months (unused) and DH and I had been letting DS watch us as we use the loo and telling him that the potty is for him to use. Around May time he started a new habit of putting his hand down the back of his nappy while doing a poo and getting it all over his face, furniture and toys, so we suspected that he might be ready to try.

Our childminder is crap (whole other thread and excuse the pun) so from June we started sitting DS on the potty morning and night just for him to get used to the idea. He maybe had about 6 successful wees in 2 months. We were waiting for August as DH and I have the whole month off, so decided to do intensive training during this time.

We're in week 3 of the sticker chart and DS is doing amazingly. We've got rid of daytime nappies entirely unless we're out and even those are becoming increasingly dry. There have been accidents but it is definitely working. DS still isn't asking for the potty, but that will come. If he's got nothing on he'll just go and sit on it himself, but if he's going commando we can tell when he needs to go (he stops everything and looks down), so we whip his pants down for him.

I downloaded Poo Goes to Pooland and watched it a couple of times a day with him last week, and he's nailed poos ever since. It's fab and I'm sure it's helped with the wees too. DS is getting lots and lots of praise for every wee (double for a poo) and he insists on flushing the loo himself when we empty the potty.

Ignore ignore ignore your ILs. You know your child best and you should try when you think it's the right time. Don't let them pressure you or your DC as it will have the reverse effect as well as stressing you out!

Cyrusc · 14/08/2019 09:48

In the process of training DD this week, she's three next week and im glad I waited this long as it's been easy. Accidents on the first day but dry since. I had wanted to leave her be to get it in her own time but I had to push it a bit this week as she starts preschool in two weeks and they need to be toilet trained for that. She was showing all the signs though so I knew all she needed was a gentle nudge.

Unless you have to do it for nursery/preschool don't push him OP it just prolongs the process. Back off for a few months and try again. Boys typically take longer anyway, don't stress!

Cyrusc · 14/08/2019 09:55

I know people often advise giving incentives and it works well for some but I think it just makes it a bigger deal than it needs to be. If he's ready he won't need charts/stickers/prizes. That often leads to battles and toileting is one area where you don't want a battle!

A simple "well done" and on with your day should suffice but obviously that will depend on the temperament of your child. My DD would see through any form of bribery and it would most likely end up in a power struggle. Just thought I'd mention it as I've seen my DSis and some friends go way over the top with bribes and rewards and it's been a bit of a disaster.

Userzzzzz · 14/08/2019 10:04

Oh I’d also say poo goes to Pooland is brilliant. We went for mega bribery for poos as I found poo accidents horrid to deal with. The sooner you can get poos on the loo rather than the potty the better as well.

Teachermaths · 14/08/2019 10:06

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Your experience is the same as mine. Get them on it early. As soon as mine could sit up they were on the potty. By 18 months all poos were on the potty. Trained in the day at 23 months within 4 days.

Funny how 2 generations ago, children trained earlier. Cloth nappies meant children knew when they were wet and mums were driven to train because of the washing load. Modern nappies are too good. Later training means lots more landfill too.

my2bundles · 14/08/2019 10:10

I agree with cyrusc if you wait untill they are ready sweets and sticker bribes are just not needed as they are ready to do it. Mibe took 1 day, no fuss, no accidents or upset and definitely not endless sitting sessions bribing with a treat which I imagine must be difficult to give up once they are trained.

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