Coming up to three and still in nappies

[m4mmy0f0ne]

My DS is coming up to three (will be three in December) and he's still in nappies, OH parents have said he needs to do it now or he never will.
They said we need to push him to it otherwise he'll always say no to the potty.
AIBU to think that pushing him to take this massive step is the wrong decision?

With my first they told me when they were ready (just before 3) and it was over in a few days. I allowed myself to be pressured with the younger one as they had gone past their 3rd birthday and it caused massive issues that needed medication. I wish I had stood my ground.

Around 3 he should get it unless there's sn but done kids, boys especially are 3.5 or so before they are dry. It's certainly fine to wait if he's not ready but I think it's important to get them thinking about it and I suggest having them in reusables that feel wet if you are struggling still next summer. My dd was over 4 but she has asd

They get it straight away when they are ready - DD was 2 when she was dry through the night, she was almost 3.5 before it clicked in the daytime for her, but t it was immediate once it did. No point in forcing it.

A friend told me she regretted trying before 3 with hers so I didn’t. We had a potty out and let him know what it was four then he started using it and that was that. We didn’t do any training as such. Very glad I had friends who gave the advice of not stressing or pushing it!

Took my eldest a year to learn at 3.5

My boys were both 3 to 3 and half when trained. Boys don't know long before they need to go the warning is shorter than for girls. Once we started it clicked in couple days because they were ready. Just keep a potty about at all times and say when your ready to use it you can. Set up a sticker chart and say x amount of stickers gets a small treat. Then leave it at that. If he decides to use it great if not remind about chart following week.

I’d honestly love to know what drives people’s comments about other people’s children. It baffles me! There was another thread yesterday about a woman who was copping stick for still breastfeeding past the first year. Madness.

OP, my son is about your son’s age and even gentle persuasion seems to do more harm than good so I’m not going to force it. I’m also still breastfeeding so I’m all kinds of wrong to my MIL. Luckily I don’t care what she thinks. You shouldn’t care what yours think either.

Not true. DO YOU. All our children will get married bottle freed and potty trained.
DS#1 and I tried potty training him when he was about 18 months- did not work. He was only ready after turning 2. However, he is still not ready to quit his bottle in AM and PM. However, you do need to remind yourself that potty-training is a 1-2 hard, committed month to get him on track, and it’s best to train them on summer, as it’s warmer and you don’t have to deal with many lawyers of clothes

OH parents have said he needs to do it now or he never will

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Seriously, if that was true there would be a much higher proportion of older children/teenagers/adults wandering around in nappies. They’re talking complete shit.

Plus he’s not “coming up for 3” he’s “just over 2 and a half”, all perfectly within the realms of normal.

My eldest was 2 y 11 mo when he trained and the youngest was 6 months older. We tried before hand and it was a nightmare as they just didn’t get it. Waiting until they are ready makes it much easier for everyone.

Also I generally can’t stand her by Gina Ford’s potty training book was very good. When the time comes!

DD1 was out of nappies in the day by 2.5 but still in them at night for another year. DD2 was dry day and night at 3 (but then had an issue with not wanting to poo on the toilet for a couple of weeks).

He will get it soon, I think more boys are three rather than two when they stop needing nappies.

The best advice I ever received about potty training was, doesn't matter when you start the finishing point will be when they're ready. Why put yourself through the stress of it if they're not ready. As previous posters have said you don't see teenagers walking round in nappies. Leave a potty hanging around encourage them to sit on it and when they're ready they'll do it. One of mine wouldn't sit on it and on their third birthday got up took her nappy off put it in the bin and did a wee on the potty, never wore one again. Don't stress and don't let anyone tell you when your child is ready.

My rule of thumb was that if day 3/4 was no better than day 1 then they could go back in nappies for a few more weeks because life is too short to spend several weeks/months scrubbing piss out of the carpet

I think this is very sensible advice.

My first 2 children were 3 when they started using the toilet. One was just turned 3 and the other 3.5 your son will start using
the toilet when he is ready. My nephew was still in night nappies at 5 as he had lots of accidents too. I'd try not to listen to that sort of advice like 'if its not now he never will' 🙄 he absolutely WILL.

Just on the potty training subject though, I remember being in M&S ladies where there was a changing facility weirdly placed near the sink area and I was changing my nearly 3 year old. And this woman said to me 'she's a bit old to be in nappies isnt she' and my response was that she was only 2 but tall (I thought this was a reasonable response), but she piped up 'Well I had my daughter dry in the day at 12 months'... and I remember looking at her wondering why she felt the need to say that. I quietly decided that she was just a really over familiar and insecure woman who was trying to make herself feel superior by potty training shaming me. Not comparing this woman to your family btw but your thread reminded me of that woman.

'Well I had my daughter dry in the day at 12 months'

When people (in this case a stranger!) make comments like this I can only assume it's more about them than it is about me. I also wonder if they are being honest. My MIL claims her kids were out of nappies by nine months. She also claims they were running around, climbing trees and trying to ride motorbikes by the same age. She tells a lot of fibs.

I love these threads for the sheer volume of people who assume people are fibbing about their dry 2 yr old.

DS was potty trained at 23m. Got it in about 3 days, very few accidents after that. Not me taking him on a schedule, him saying when he needs to go.

But we introduced the concept so, so mucg earlier than people we knew. Loads of toddlers poo after meals or at quite predictable times - mine often went after bath so it was a no brainer at 18m to sit him on the potty at that time rather than put a nappy on him only to change it 10 mins later. We also did stints of time nappy free eg first thing in morning. You get about 3 incidents of them weeing on their legs before you & they have spotted the signs that they need to go & you are able to get them on a potty at the right time & talk about what's happening.

At that age they don't resist it, it's so much harder when they are 2.5 as they hate change & fight you on everything!!

If you really want to potty train him (Although it doesn’t sound like you’re in any rush) then just take the nappies away and put him in pants. No kid is going to suddenly switch to using the toilet if they’re still wearing a nappy.

You started at 18 months and was trained by 23 months. That's alot longer than the 3 days you claim. Why spend all those months making your child sit on a potty when they are clearly not noticing tne signs themselves and taking themselves. My son was almost 3 and it took one day, zero accidents and he took full control himself no prompting etc. No your son didn't train in 3 days, it took 5 months of watching for wees and sitting a child who didn't have bladder control.

3 (and sometimes 4) is the new 2 when it comes to modern day potty training (especially on MN).
Most NT 3 year olds can be toilet trained fairly quickly but you’ll get a lot of ‘I’m waiting until he’s ready’ on here which basically translates to I cannae be bothered at present and I’ll keep him in nappies/pull ups for as long as possible.

It is mad the different advice people give and get on toilet training. Don t panic over him being nearly 3, if you were saying about to ( as in 3 and 10 or 11 months) turn 4 it's fair enough but none of my 4 were ready by 3. I tried two of them and it was like walking through mud, left them til after 3 ( average 3 and a half) and it clicked. Is his first nappy in the morning dry? That's the big indicator that he's ready, if not abd hes not interested then definitely hold out.

My son was 4 before he was completely out of nappies. Don't worry.

you’ll get a lot of ‘I’m waiting until he’s ready’ on here which basically translates to I cannae be bothered at present and I’ll keep him in nappies/pull ups for as long as possible.
I honestly don't think it's the case. I do know of people who have potty trained around the 2 mark but most people I know with boys ( including me) it didn't work. It's not a lazy thing, it's what happened!!

I waited till they turned three for both my sons, and it was a very quick thing for both of them as I think they were ready. I waited till we had a holiday coming up so could do the wandering at home ready to go. We didn't use potties at all but toilet seats with handles, they were big enough and saved an extra stage.

Ours is 3, starting school in a month and is still in nappies.

He has just this week decided to move mostly to pants, working well just waiting until he was ready.

Your partner's parents will likely have done this sooner, doesn't mean their way was better. There is always a rush to do everything fast with babies - like you get a prize for how quickly they walked/weaned/moved up a car seat etc.