Coming up to three and still in nappies

[m4mmy0f0ne]

My DS is coming up to three (will be three in December) and he's still in nappies, OH parents have said he needs to do it now or he never will.
They said we need to push him to it otherwise he'll always say no to the potty.
AIBU to think that pushing him to take this massive step is the wrong decision?

And hope my2bundles, no accidents, no carrying loads of pants around etc.

Honestly it's like people literally don't believe the factual statistics about many parts of the world where it's normal for children to be dry between 18m & 2. It's also well known that the age of potty trained has increase rapidly with the introduction of disposable nappies and increasing sizes of those available. We train toddlers to ignore the signals of their bodies so of course they ignore them.

This thread is amazing. So much good knowledge and experiences. We are 2.5 days into potty training as DS is 3 in a few weeks and I feel like we should! It NOT going very well, I'm 31 weeks pregnant and everyone says I need to do it before baby comes... but I'm so bloody tired and feel like giving up 😪

My mum trained me and my brother 40 odd years ago. The reason they did it between 18 months and 2 was so they could stop washing nappies. She also said children has alot more accidents before the age of 3 which she puts down to children just not being ready before that age. Children where sat regularly to catch wees. They weren't actually in control our mothers just tined it and caught some of tne wees. The rest ended up on tne floor.

My son did it himself in a day just before he turned 3. No accidents unlike some others who had been training for months before and still having accidents long after my son trained himself. There's a lot to be said for waiting untill a child is actually ready.

OHs parents are wrong.

@kmammamalto my little boy clicked with using the toilet in the weeks after DD was born. Similarly his sister toilet trained when he was a newborn. Ignore anyone who says you have to do it beforehand

My eldest trained at 2 1/2 with the aid of haribo and a star chart.
I tried the same with my youngest but he was not interested. I tried giving him nappy free time, he hated it. He would curl up on the floor and howl. Kept making a mess.
I tried on and off over the next few months, but no go.
He was past three and it was the Easter holidays. He was starting preschool the following September and I was panicking.
Then DH took him and his brother off for a camping trip. I have no idea what happened but ds2 came home and decided he would sleep through the night AND wanted to use the potty.
I guess it was just the right time. It was his decision and that was that. Didn't have any accidents and was very quickly dry over night.
I have encouraged DH to take them away camping many times since. 😀

My twins were 3 in June - Tried when they turned 2 - didnt happen. No fuss just popped them back into nappies.

It's much easier now - I got them stickers and a reward chart and a little toilet from amazon which 'flushes'.

Potty for the day and a bed nappy, then a big morning wee on the potty. Im in no rush with them! x

It really isn't worth rushing a child that isn't ready, all you will do is push him back further! My DD had a great day of potty training, putting her on every 20 mins so she did wee & poo's on the potty then the next day she reverted right back and cried all day because she did a poo in her nickers and after that held her wee ALL day till I put a nappy on so she clearly wasn't ready it was just me putting her on the potty and catching her in time 🤷🏻‍♀️

@doskant it's funny when parents do the unrealistic boasting thing isn't it. It's sad because if everyone was a bit more honest and supporting instead of competitive, we'd all feel a bit more normal and a bit less like there were set ways and time frames to do everything in.

@SAHM2019 my sister always boasted about her DD being trained before she was even 2! Still wears pull ups now at 6

I spent a long time looking for signs of readiness but they never came with mine. She needed forcing really and we did it about a month before she turned 3. I think for every child that decides they’re going to do it themselves there is one that needs a push.

She needed forcing really and we did it about a month before she turned 3.

You still could have waited a bit longer, mine wasn't ready at 3. At 3.5 he got it instantly.

My eldest was 3 years and 2 months when I potty trained him. It was a breeze really and barely any accidents. I left him in a pull up at night until he was at least 4. My youngest I tried at the same age but it was a lot harder. I left it another month or two and he's got it but has definitely had more accidents than his older brother. I'm definitely a firm believer of waiting until they are ready. It's good to try every now and then but in my opinion it's not good to cause anxiety around the issue and if it's becoming a struggle then leave it and try again in another few weeks/month.

DD was roughly 3 and a half when she finally got it. She wasn't ready before that and just couldn't get it. I worked in a nursery when I was younger and many of the kids weren't trained until nearly 4.
One thing I would say though - don't use pull-ups. They feel like nappies so there's less urgency and less incentive to learn.

GingerSouffle Your probably right to be honest. We had quite a few accidents but as a summer baby, I wanted to give her a good period of time to be ready for school. I wouldn’t have wanted to leave her until 31/2 and then only have 7-8m to be fully sorted before school. I can see how much a difference time makes and the whole thing just feels easier and more relaxed each month.

Just recently started potty training here, my son is 4 in a couple of weeks. We tried for ages, he wasn’t interested in the potty at all. Then a few weeks ago he just decided he wanted to use it. Wee was the easiest to do for him, took another week and a half til he did a poo for the first time. He’ll get there, when he is ready. Don’t stress over it, and don’t try to rush him. My eldest was 5 when he was out of nappies, but he has autism so takes longer in general to get to grips with things.

Some people get so fixated on these milestones. Walking by this age potty trained by that age. It's not like it's going on their CV. It all just adds to the parents guilt. OP honestly try not to worry about this. He's only two and a half.

@HJWT that makes sense 🤔🤣
When we went away with our first and she was around 6 months old, there was a woman there telling me I needed to start potty training as she had trained her baby at 7 months (yes you read that right). She said to us 'they are like dogs, you just train them up like dogs' 😳 this was my first born precious little angel and a woman was comparing babies to dogs.
Tbh I'm not judging how or when anyone else potty trains but the whole boasting and 'my kid was trained before your's' attitude needs to do one. And the uninvited advice too.

NRFT but OP it's not a race. Your DS will get there when he s ready. My DS was not interested in the potty - in retrospect I don't think he found it comfy to sit on and he's always been a modest soul (not like me) and I think hated being plonked on it. In the end because of circumstances, selling house, moving area etc we left it until he was more settled.

In the end he was 3 days short of 3 when we went for it in earnest and he was using the toilet properly within a week. What I found was that he got on much better with a well fitting toilet seat (we had the pourty toilet seat) and a higher step stool (again poultry) so that he could rest his feet and climb on to the toilet easily. First couple of days was literally running to the loo when he said he needed to go but he got the hang of it extremely quickly. And some of his friends who trained earlier ended up having real problems later on with withholding poos. My family used to make digs all the time about DS not being potty trained and I just tried to ignore it tbh. Good luck

Yes meant to say, put DS in pants when you are training him. They begin to associate the wetness with the feeling of needing to go to the loo. We didn't bother about O/N we continued to use pull ups

We did the potty training in a day method when DSs were almost 3/just turned 3 and it worked fine and they were more or less completely trained in 24 hours (for day anyway). there was no interest prior to this.

@SAHM2019 Sorry, I was meant to say she still wears pull ups at night 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

Your in laws are totally wrong! It is so much easier to wait until they are older. Both mine (DD and DS) have been over 3 when we potty trained and they both picked it up straight away. We've hardly had any accidents and it's been so much less stressful than i expected both times. Why make life more difficult and stressful if you don't need to?

I agree it’s not a competition, and it’s up to you when you decide to potty train your child, but I bet those parents who are leaving it until they decide they child is “ready” are not using towelling nappies. One of the reasons children were trained earlier in the past is that the child was aware much earlier they were wet/ dirty when they are wearing a washable cloth nappy, plus the parent has the incentive of removing an unpleasant daily chore of washing/ drying said nappies. This was my experience- all my 4 out of nappies well before 2.5. This doesn’t make me a better parent - just I was able to devote a couple of weeks of leaving nappies off, potty in sitting room/ kitchen , staying at home for that time. Totally understand if this is not doable for you, but just saying it is possible.