Coming up to three and still in nappies

[m4mmy0f0ne]

My DS is coming up to three (will be three in December) and he's still in nappies, OH parents have said he needs to do it now or he never will.
They said we need to push him to it otherwise he'll always say no to the potty.
AIBU to think that pushing him to take this massive step is the wrong decision?

Yabu

Most children start working on this skill between 18 months and 3 years of age. The average age of potty training falls somewhere around 27 months

potty train your child he is 3 and NT!

I'm in Denmark. Here they were horrified when I suggested potty training at 2.5! TYhe recommendation is to potty train at around 3-4.

No hurry and totally normal. My dd is 3 and still in nappies. So half her nursery. Its alot easier the longer you wait. My dd just about ready now. Weve tried before. A friend pushed too early and her dd now has problems withholding poo.

Anecdote but the two people I know who were so pleased at how early their DC were out of nappies were also the two people whose DC left puddles on my floor every time they came round.

Nursery commented how early DS2 was trained and he was 2.8. (It was summer so we thought we’d give it a go).

totalwasteofpaper can you read? The child is 3 in December. It's August now.

Son was just before - no signs so I decided if he didnt get it in 3 days, we'd stop. Turned out he just needed the nudge and he got it nailed within the week. Daughter was a flat out no on her part when we tried so just waited and she decided at 3 years 4 months that she was done with nappies, and she was sorted in 2 days. You can try and see, but it's also fine to wait!

Mine is 3 in November, we've been potty training on and off since February. For the first few months we'd have a few days and she'd freak right out so we'd have to go back to nappies because it wasn't worth the distress. This time we've been going for 4 weeks and she's much happier with it, for the past two weeks she's been mostly dry but is still struggling with poos.

I suspect leaving it would make the process much less painless.

Take his nappy off and he'll soon learn to use the potty. My dad is 3 in october and we started doing this around march time and shes 100% potty trained now, shes even dry st night

DS (DC2) was coming up on 4 when he was out of daytime nappies, over 4 when he was (consistently) dry at night. DD (DC1) was in pants at 2.9 in less a week (wasn't going to attempt it till she was 3 but gave it a go out of curiosity and got a surprise).

So much pressure to toilet train when in actual fact it's an individualised complex process that involves recognising a physical sensation and linking it with a predicted outcome.

Yes, I'm sure nappies feel better than they used to be but that won't make much of a difference for long, it's not about that for children. If it is, it means they were ready anyway.

Before washing machines, people used to want their children out of cloth nappies early when they were having to handwash them (don't blame them) and therefore any poo in the toilet was a bonus but it means we now have a skewed notion of how early that should be.

Save yourselves the drama and don't even attempt it till they're 3. And if it doesn't work, stop quickly and try again a few months later. Life's too short and we all get there in the end.

Plus you want them to be consistently dry - repeated accidents (wee or poo) mean they are not ready and it's stressful for everyone. Remember, UCAS don't award additional points for how young you were the last time you wore a nappy...

Both my DS’s were just over 3 when they were potty trained, and both got it pretty quickly. I can recommend a book called ‘pirate Pete’s potty’ and just leaving a potty around, maybe getting to choose some pants - all to get him interested.

Oh and one was dry straightaway at night, the other needed pull-ups at bedtime until he was about 6.

I did both nine at 3.5 - when they were ready.
It is not a competition.
Mine were both dry at night considerably sooner than those starting earlier.
It was so easy leaving it later!

Too fucking right it’s laziness - I was too lazy to keep scrubbing piss out of my carpet 5x a day!

OP. You know your DC. Tell your in laws to mind their own business.

No point pushing if he's not ready. One of mine was just under 3 and the other just over 3. Both were trained within a week during the day and dry at night after a few weeks. Earlier efforts to toilet train had shown they just weren't ready and were abandoned. I stressed with my first as they were nearly 3 but second time around I just went with it and it all fell into place again.

If he's not interested then leave him and try again in a few months. A couple of months can make all the difference.

Children are all different, one of mine was 2.5 the other 3.5. They won't be in nappies at school, timelines don't matter.

It's also a practicality thing. If you work full time, you have to book time off to potty train, as you need at least a 4/5 day stretch with them.

Lazy, feckless working mothers. We had several goes after 18 months with both DDs, one of them got it at 2.5, one of them at 3.

It's not a competition, nor is it a predictor of future intelligence, capacity to get into prep school or Oxbridge. People with prescriptive attitudes to potty training need to get over themselves, especially with regards to other people's children. None of your business, you dogmatic twat.

I left my son til he was 2 years 9 months - because I wanted to do it when I was off work (had been put off by friends moaning about 7 accidents a day!). He did it immediately. Hardly any accidents at all. The later the easier I think.

Both of my little boys potty trained at 3 years and one month. They also went quickly to being dry at night. They trained quickly at that age and we have had no problems.

I did try them both periodically from age two. I felt that after three days of wees all over the place and just not 'getting it', it was healthier for both of us to go back to nappies and try again a few months later.

Friends who have pushed their sons to train earlier seem to have lots of problems with them being scared of doing poos.

Don't worry he really is not old to still be in nappies. Mnay children don't get it until nearly 3 or even older. Does he seem aware when he has weeded or pooed?
All children develop this awareness at a different rates just as they all walk, crawl and talk at different rates. If he is not ready yet it will take a veey long time and end up as a battle which you really don't want. If you think he's not ready yet leave it for a while but leave the potty visible and let him see you and his Dad going to the toilet so he can see what grown ups do.
Try not to worry he will pick that up from you and it will be harder. Also 3 year olds can be very stubborn they are becoming independent and want to assert themselves so don't make it into a battle.
Good luck and don't feel you are failing your child You are not.

Out of my son's peers those who started the training process at 2 where still going thro the training process at 3. Sometimes a year of timing, sitting, catching and cleaning up puddles. My son didn't go thro the upset if this and did it himself in 1 day just before he turned 3. The kids who had been subjected to the months/year of trying where still having accidents long after my son did it himself in a day. Those kids where not Toilet trained at 2 no matter how much their parents boast about it.

DS is almost four and just toilet trained properly about two months ago. I tried last summer as he was turning three and assumed that he would be ready for it and I couldn't have been more wrong. To be honest I got very stressed over it all as my daughter was two when she stopped wearing nappies so I assumed it would be the same.

DS is exactly the same age and I've been trying intermittently since he was about 2. He's not ready. I doubt he'll potty train before he's 3. He's a bright little button and with everything else, walking, talking, using cutlery, understanding, if I push, he will resist. If I let him do it in his own time he'll get it. It made him anxious and stressed when I was trying to get him to sit in the potty every 10 minutes.

I'll be fucked if I'm spending the next six months slipping in piss puddles or scraping shit out of pants into a bin, carrying 15 pairs or shorts around (because if he's having that many accidents, then he's definitely not going to "get it" any quicker) and lining the car seat with puppy pads.

My ds has just been trained aged nearly 3.5. We tried him a few times before but he didn't get it at all and found sitting on the potty very distressing.

When he was ready he just did it, got it immediately. That was six weeks ago, haven't had a single accident since, straight to the toilet and he's dry at night too. Easy.

My2bundles

Nope. I did not spend 5 months watching for wees. That would be starting potty training. I offered a potty for 5 mins, 2 or 3 times a day, continuing to use nappies. The potty was accepted a lot (never imposed if not wanted) and after abour 3 weeks, he would often tell me he needed it before it was offered. If left with no nappy for an hour in the morning, again after about 3 weeks, he would take himself to the potty without a word to us. In the 3 weeks prior, there were a handful of occasions where he weed on legs. Mostly he didn't wee at all as it was an hour or less no nappy. We didn't do this every day, just once in a while.

The idea was that the notion of a potty and what you do on it was not a huge new thing at the same time as expecting him to be dry and in pants all day. My mum says its what everyone did 30 or 40 years ago. Children weren't expected to wake up one morning "ready". They were taught the ideas before putting it into practice.