To be bitter about my parent's careers?

[Kplpandd]

My parents were very career focused when I was a child.

They would drop me off on the school playground at 7.30am (even if it was dark in the winter) and pick me up at 5pm.

School holidays from the age of about 8 I spent long days alone at home locked in the house with nobody (spolit only child).

I dont know why but I'm starting to really resent the fact that they felt their careers were more important than my safety. I'm also bitter at the fact that nobody such as teachers or my neighbours ever questioned them about dumping me in the playground or leaving me home alone.

I remember going to my friends house after school once and her mum was home already to welcome her and I was so jealous!
This seemed to hit me when my dd reached 8 because I cant even think about leaving her at home for 12 hours whilst I went to work. Is it even legal?

My parents were well off, I never went without material possessions and as an adult I became very close friends with them both (they have now passed). I mean even if they'd sent me to a childminder I'd at least have had adequate supervision? I guess I'm just having a spoilt rant but would really appreciate others views.

OP, it's hard isn't it, to have these feelings about something from so long ago, especially as you can no longer discuss it with your parents.
Times were different then and IME, people assumed children were more 'adult' than they actually were, certainly more than we do now. I started school in the 1960's and, like you, my mum walked me to school on the first day and thereafter, I was on my own. My mum for a job when her and my dad's marriage began to break down and I clearly remember being left alone all day at 8 years old when I had German measles. And at other times such as school holidays, since childminders were just not a thing then. At age 8 & 9 I was looking after my younger sibling. And yes, there were accidents, some quite serious and needing hospital attention (one injury from then has had lifelong consequences), yet no-one ever thought it appropriate to involve social services!

I was determined not to repeat the pattern with my own dc. I think that's how I cope with the anger I feel about it - no point discussing it with my mum is she's very defensive and never wrong, hi I just resolved to be better with my own dcs.
Could you try a similar approach?

My mum walked me to school the first day, after that I walked myself. Became a latch key kid when I was 11 and went to work with my dad in the woods every holiday. That's how it was in the 80's, I dont need therapy

StickTakeFucks

She was locked in a house alone for hours during the whole of the holidays. No company,no friends,no playing outside.

The fuck is wrong with people?”

If this were today I would agree.
Not sure how old OP is, presumably not very young as both parents worked all of their lives and have passed away.
PPs have said, and are right, that our standards today are very different. In the 70s/80s it was common for fairly young children to be left alone whilst their parents worked. She was in her home, warm, dry and fed presumably. I left during the school holidays with my mother in the mornings and was locked out of the house all day, either “playing out” with friends or going into their houses if possible when it rained. I got back into my house when mum got home at 6/7 o clock. Not great but she was working full time, paying a mortgage (still pretty unusual in the 70s) and bringing up 2 children alone through no fault of her own. There was no money for childcare and she had no choice. I wouldn’t have done the same but I did have a choice.

I love my mum very much and admire that she did her best even though it was often far from ideal. Not deliberately so though, I completely understand that as an adult even if I didn’t as a child. Raking through ancient history can’t change the past.

Understanding context doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with people.

It's nothing to do with today's standards. I was a latch key kid too,I actually commented before but had a name change in the meantime.

The difference was that I was a latch KEY kid. I had access to the outside world if I wanted or could hide inside if wanted. I wasn't isolated or forced to stay in (or out) .

There are ways to make a shit situation less shit. Even though in my eyes it wasn't shit at all , I loved the freedom and the summer holidays.

I was determined not to repeat the pattern with my own dc. I think that's how I cope with the anger I feel about it - no point discussing it with my mum is she's very defensive and never wrong, hi I just resolved to be better with my own dcs. This is how I dealt with it too but I still struggle at time when I have to listen to her moan about how hard life was - she made many choices and they were choices that suited her and my Dad that were not in the best interests of anyone but themselves...my sister confronted them both on our childhood and they decided she must be mentally ill to accuse them of poor parenting - it's amazing how much they've buried the truth.

I think people should have a look at the stately home threads and have a think about "doing their best".

Sometimes "their best" was the easy way out and not enough. There's nothing wrong with admitting and accepting that.

In the early 70's my sister and I were left alone in bed from a very young age for an hour at 10pm alternative nights, when my father went to pick my mother up from her 6-10pm shift. The woman across the road used to do that shift too, so the husbands took it in turns to take and fetch them. We would go too if it was his turn to take them. I suppose this arrangement was so that the mum's were at home for us kids during the day. We knew that the other "father" across the road was keeping an ear out for us.

This normally worked fine as we were always asleep except I have one vivid memory of waking up and being very scared at being left alone. I remember crying and shouting through the letter box trying to attract the attention of the dad across the road who obviously couldn't hear me.

But we did have emotionally available parents and I had a great relationship with my dad who looked after us from 6pm until bedtime.

At age 11 mum got a normal hours full time job and we looked after ourselves before and after school.

I think it was pretty dreadful to have a child and basically allow it to look after itself! I would be very resentful of my parents if they put their careers first and foremost. I wonder if they actually intended to have a child at all?

They could easily have afforded a nanny or childminder by the sound of it so no excuse.