To think you should text before you call someone

[Sparklyspoon]

This might just be me but it annoys me when someone randomly calls and doesn't text first to check if I'm free to talk. I would understand if it was something urgent but when it's just for a catch up or something non important I feel like it would be more polite to just text and asked me first

Op it’s normal to text before calling. Yanbu.

I wouldn’t just call someone (other than family) if I wanted a chat. It is different these days because now we have mobiles and might be anywhere when we answer.

It’s not a question of ignoring the call either. Because you’d worry it could be urgent.

It isn’t just you op. Everyone I know does it. In fact, come to think of it my brother WhatsApps to ask if I can chat. Or people will ask you when you answer if you are free to chat. I’m 40s. Yanbu.

Give over. If you don’t want to take the call, leave it ring out.

If you send a text I may not hear it, as it's only one beep. Therefore I think you need to phone me to tell me that you're going to send a text to ask if you can phone me for a chat.
Happy now?

Yanbu OP!!! I hate talking on the phone.

Very weird! I’m assuming you aren’t calling strangers? Why would you text first? My friends and I ring if we want to chat and we’re dreadful, we actually go to each others homes without a prior arrangement!

Errr... no. Either don't pick the phone up, or answer it and say "Really sorry I'm busy right now, can you call back later/can I phone you back". That's what I do with my best friend and it works fine for us!

I actually prefer people to call me rather than text !!…Texting is actually quite impersonal and can be misunderstood!. If I cannot speak I give a quick explanation and then call back when convenient.

This is literally all I have to say.

FFS OP it’s not against the law not to answer your phone you know! Give your head a wobble

I have one friend who I text to make sure it is OK to call her, or I ask her to ring me when she is free. She does the same when she wants to ring me.

When I call her it is often about uni work so I prefer knowing that she is free to talk. It is just the routine we got into.

Everyone else I just ring if I want to talk to them and vice versa.

I much prefer talking on the phone to texting but most of my friends seem to prefer text.

I absolutely think we should all write an old fashioned letter detailing when we will text to arrange a suitable time to phone to arrange a visit.

Op it’s normal to text before calling. Yanbu.

No it's not. I do not know anyone who would do that.

I kind of get where you are coming from, OP.
I always ask if it is a good time to talk if I ring someone, although I never ring someone 'just for a chat', it's usually to arrange to meet, and I prefer to do that via text message, giving the recipient time to consider my request. I don't have time to just chat on the phone generally so assume my friends don't either. I often don't answer my phone, and deliberately don't use messaging services (other than SMS) or notifications on my phone.

How very sad.
YABU

I want to know who the 53 people out of 750+ people are who think OP is NBU 🤔

@Sparklyspoon OP I'm with you on this. It seems to be basic etiquette with the younger generation these days. I would never ever call someone without texting to see if they're free first, unless it was really important

Don’t be daft. How would you text using a landline which most people use around here? Why would you text someone you didn’t know?

I had to renew my phone contract this week and they checked how many minutes a month I use. 15 minutes a month apparently
EE "that's very low"
Me "I work in a contact centre. Don't ring me. Ever"

You are asked whether you're free to/interested in taking a call, by the action of the phone ringing.

You are free to say no, by not picking up. You really, really are.

Do you have 'nice girl' issues?

Do you generally have difficulty saying "no" or not comforming to the expectations or incursions of others?

Do you struggle to set and maintain personal boundaries regarding your needs, comfort and/or preferences?

But why, HappyLoneParent? Surely if they're not free to talk to you they can just decide not to answer their phone?

Out of curiosity how old are you OP?
I am wondering if this is a new young person's rule or something I have been missing...

I've a strict rule - their people have to liaise with my people who check my schedule before they grant permission to text to ask if it's ok to talk before actually ringing. It's really the only system that can work.

I tend to agree with you OP. I'm not a phone person. I'd rather communicate by text unless someone needs an immediate answer.

I'm with you, OP. But I know it's not normal. I don't like surprises. The phone ringing, someone knocking at the door, post/deliveries I'm not expecting. It makes me anxious.

I hate it when a friend calls me unexpectedly, but I'm fully aware that this is my own issue. Normally after you answer it you really enjoy talking to them. If you're really busy then just call them back when you can, no big deal.