to Ask your terrible advice from the 1990’s - early 2000s

[MyKingdomForACaramel]

Aibu to ask you to cast your mind back and give the advice you would have in the late 90’s

Here’s mine...

Want to lose weight? Eat what you want during the week and take recreational drugs at the weekend, it’s like the 5:2

Have frizzy hair! Not to worry, some John Frieda, and iron, and a brown paper bag will sort it.

Worried your dp has been faffing you around and cheating? If he says @you were on a break” all is ok

MD 20/20 is a perfectly acceptable thing to drink and not at all like alcoholic cough mixture. Just bung a bottle in your handbag and swig during nights out - classy look, I think you’ll find.

@crafty - MD 20/20 was a treat! Now thunderbirds cider/wine thing

Buy a matching bottle of CK one for both you and your (sporty) boyfriends

Sun in for your hair
Factor 2 oil
30 minutes on your front
30 minutes on your back
30 minutes drinking alcohol.
A typical hot day

No mobile phone? Take a BT phone-card linked to your parents’ bill. It was strictly for emergencies (but also used to call boys I fancied from the local phone box - cue subsequent bolloxing from my dad). I can still remember the 12 digit pin code 21 years later. I wonder if it still works... if only I could remember anyone’s phone number nowadays.

Also Lynx Atlantis bodyspray being the most desirable smell ever (among those too cheap for CKOne).

Crispy hair with salon selectives pink mouse
Heather shimmer
Coffee shimmer
Body shop bags for school
River island bags for PE kit
Sun in
CkOne
Tommy Girl
Flares
Platforms
Crop tops
Thongs
Dewberry body spray from Boots
Thin eyebrows (I hate you 90’s for that)
Sun, Moon and Stars everything
Drinking 5 nights a weeks
Speed diet on the weekend
Anything over a size 12 was ‘big’

Low cut jeans, walk around with the bottom of your "midriff" as my mum used to call it out, bonus if your hip bones are popping out. A lacey thing must be sticking out at the top.
Make sure your hair ironed, it will get burnt and frizzy but it looks good.
Burbery perfume is the hight of sophistication.
Smoking and drinking with much older guys won't get you in trouble at all.
You don't need eyebrows, pluck them out so it looks like there's nothing there.
Blonde streaks look amazing.
Wear a scarf wrapped around your neck so it look like a neck brace, it's the only way to wear a scarf.

My first set of straighteners had to have water put in the like an iron, but it was a step up from the iron and ironing board.

So many mistakes in that post, I just got a bit over excited.

Get a belly button piercing and a dolphin tattoo. They are fab and will never date.

I didn't by the way.

On the other hand, I married in 2007 and my friend just had her 25 wedding anniversary. Love looking at our old photos and seeing how dated the fashions are.

Oh and bumble bee stripe sun in hair - what was I thinking?

@Drogosnextwife I had those straighteners! A tiny little water canister but like a mini iron

Glad to be of service @Rightsaidmabel

Oh and @MNHQ can we please put this forward for classics?

Get a belly button piercing and a dolphin tattoo. They are fab and will never date.

Yep, still regretting these pearls of wisdom. And the eyebrow plucking....

Start downloading a song just before you go to bed. Wake up to find it almost done!

stand up out the sun roof while the cars going down the m25-yes bloody insane

sorry prob doesnt count it was the 80s

I loved my combats. They were so practical. What’s not to love about being about to go out in trousers and trainers? (Or strapped sandals for fancier places).

Going out looks so much harder now. They all seem to spend days on fake tanning, booking actual make up artists, getting eyelashes done. Miles easier back then, bung on a load of glitter and off you pop.

Also, it was far more socially acceptable to go to the pub at lunch and actually drink alcohol.

Boys in pinstripe trousers with white grandad shirts and ideally their hair in curtains definitely seemed a good idea, it wasn't.

The Take That v East 17 debate.

Smash Hits was the only credible source of news or More's position of the fortnight!

Oh and If he drives a Vauxhall Nova he must be super cool 😂

I'm only halfway through this but I'm scared I'll forget my gem (which may have already been mentioned) shaders and toners to dye your hair!!!

And warehouse did about 50 types of black trouser for when you were going 'out out'

God this is making me remember so many things. (Although I feel so unknowledgeable about anything drugs related!)
I had a leather belt made up of large hearts attached together with a metal circle in each. Playboy! Oh the shame!
we used to drink hooch and a very similar drink called 2 dogs which I don't think exists anymore. I have been known to partake in a hooch for old times sake!

A wee swig of Mad Dog, anyone?

@TENDTOprocrastinate I used to shower when I got in from the club! I once flooded the house by leaving the rubber (attached to the taps) 'shower' hanging over the bath whilst still running.

What was that women's fashion shop that sold lovely clothes and you got a reusable plastic bag with string handles and all the girls would re-use the bags for ever more to look cool? I think it was the woman's name. Like Ann something. I remember I got a jumper from there which was gorgeous, it was normally out of my price range but I always loved looking in it.
Oh and remember going to the gadget shop? Everyone had those oil lamps in their bedrooms.