to Ask your terrible advice from the 1990’s - early 2000s

[MyKingdomForACaramel]

Aibu to ask you to cast your mind back and give the advice you would have in the late 90’s

Here’s mine...

Want to lose weight? Eat what you want during the week and take recreational drugs at the weekend, it’s like the 5:2

Have frizzy hair! Not to worry, some John Frieda, and iron, and a brown paper bag will sort it.

Worried your dp has been faffing you around and cheating? If he says @you were on a break” all is ok

Pleather coats
My mother bought me a pleather coat for Christmas last year! I asked her for the receipt and swapped it for some cosy pyjamas instead.

Don’t saddle yourself with a mortgage so young. From my mother. Houses in early 1990’s in Cornwall where cheap as chips and I had a great stable job. Really regret not buying it now. The house I wanted is worth over 350 thousand now. It was 34 thousand back then.

@Whatjusthappenedthere my DH had the chance to buy a Peabody flat in London by the Oval cricket ground. It was £14,000 to buy as the council was offloading them through right to buy. He decided not to bother as he was too busy off his tits in fields raving.
The flat he was offered is now worth a shedload of cash.
What a twat.

Global hypercolour tee shirts that changed colour when your body temperature rose - great for accentuating seeat marks

Rave flyers on bedroom walls.

sweat marks. Obvs.

Wear your trainers without socks - it looks great, just like celebs such as Baby Spice were often seen doing, no need for those new-fangled trainer liners. (I had a pair of Acupuncture trainers as well!)

I remember Kickers being popular at school too, also without socks.

Love this thread. I totally forgot about the fcuk tops, I wore mine with my tiny denim skirt from Morgan.

Playboy logos, I had a top with a huge pink sparkly playboy logo on the front, booked an appointment to have the logo as a tattoo, thank god I chickened out!

Diamanté belts, I had pink and blue

Smirnoff Ice, Reef, Barcardi Breezers, VK, test tube shots

Taking disposable cameras out and having to wait for them to be developed

Drinking Newcy Brown from the bottle followed by a Jack Daniels chaser in my Dr Martens with flowers painted on and my floaty skirt whilst listening (and trying to dance) to grunge in a club. God those were the days

I'm told that look is back, must have a rummage at the back of the wardrobe

Need to decorate your room? Simply rip posters of your favourite musicians from magazines and stick on with blu tack. (Mine was covered with Courtney Love ripped from Kerrang)

Nose piercings and belly button piercings. 2000s was more about lip piercings for the emo fans

Townie/chav vs mosher/greebo

@TeachesOfPeaches are you from the East Midlands? I was a greebo and we called chavs 'townies'!

I'm actually going to buy hooch today and watermelon flavoured alcopop for old times sake x

@itssquidstella no, I'm from London but did make a group of friends from Surrey and they definitely used those terms !

Coming back from a club at 7am and watching Finding Nemo because for some reason you just can't sleep

Anyone remember Planet Angel in London Bridge, the Dome in Tufnell Park or Whirlygig ?

Not had this for years n years. Probably won't taste the same. Will try tonight xx

@itssquidstella also in Brighton we used townies instead of chavs. Took a while to realise the two words had the same meaning.

Zipping an Adidas jacket over my school jumper was enough to get served in the Off License . Buying 10 L&B for £1.20 each day, then selling them for 50p each at school.
Was more than enough to by an outfit from Bay Trading Co, hide it at my friend's house, then sneak out at the weekend!

Cutting a hole out of the piece of clothing you’re shoplifting to remove the electronic tag doesn’t make it unwearable- actually it adds a grungy edge to your outfit
Taking a mix of lsd, e and coke (why the coke??) isn’t anymore dangerous than taking each one separately as they all impact different parts of the brain
Best way to attract someone at a rave is to take their glasses or maybe look at them while sucking on your gurner dummy if you’re feeling particularly seductive
Dark brown hair is definitely complimented by blonde streaks.

It's the year of our Lord 1998 and I'm 15. Heading out to a disco on Boxing Day night at a local hotel in the next village along. No need for ID as they serve everyone. I've got a Rachel hair cut but my Revlon straighteners are shit and it's bushier than Tufty the squirrels tail despite a recent trip to the hairdressers for some fetching copper low lights to break up the mousy brown. Full face of make up including silver eyeshadow, thick black kohl and Heather shimmer lipstick. I'm wearing an electric blue satin blouse with enough buttons undone to show some cracking Wonderbra cleavage, a fake suede mini skirt made up of different shades of blue squares (God I loved that skirt) and blue suede Kickers platform trainers with a reflective strip on the heels. As I grab my mini backpack which contains my lipstick, cash and chewing gum I shout bye to my parents leaving only a cloud of ckOne in my wake. It's bloody Baltic but I'm not taking a coat.

My lift for the night is the boy next door who has recently become the proud owner of a white Nova Sri. He's wearing jeans, Cat boots and a Ben Sherman checked shirt with a navy knitted Kickers jumper over the top. There's a cuddly toy Shaun the Sheep on the parcel shelf and an orange helly Hansen puffa jacket with a furry hood on the back seat. He has highlighted hair in curtains and smells of Tommy aftershave. The car is roasting and there is a Bonkers CD playing.

I get dropped off and go straight to the bar for a Blue Bols and lemonade. After a few of these me and my best friend are on the red velour seats of the function room dancing to Set you Free by ntrance thinking we are podium dancers in Ibiza. The night includes one messy breakup after someones boyfriend snogs another
Girl under the mistletoe, a fight at the front door between a ned and the bouncers and at least one girl being bundled into a parents car after passing out on the loo floor - good times!

At chucking out time I stumble out to the freezing car park to find Nova Boy who has spent his night cruising the streets and having car park chats with fellow boy racers. We stop at a park on the way home for a snog and feel up in the car while listening to the stereophonics because unknown to anyone else we have been friends with benefits for a while (although that wasn't it was called then - f#$k buddies was the term)

I get home suitably sober enough to fool the parents and head to bed without removing makeup.

Addendum: nova boy and I have been happily married for 9 years and have 2 kids.

Spent my life shopping in tammy girl

Don’t forget you will have your trusty disposable camera with you on a night out, you’ll then take to Snappy Snaps / Boots to get it developed but be dying with the potential shame of what’s on it. All 28 photos taken on a night out and you have no recollection of what they are. So you avoid eye contact with the staff in photo shop, convinced they’d seen you and mates in all their drunken / gurning glory

15May gorgeous post!

*i feel your pain. X

That was for Bibib.