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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is really grabby- bordering on cheekyfuckery?

272 replies

FurCoatNoSnickers · 08/08/2019 12:01

Ds is at a newish school - he was so happy to have been invited to a karting birthday party - turns out the whole class were invited - details were - the date- the activity-transport provided (it’s a 80 mile round trip) and a request of Amazon vouchers for present. In the last few weeks since they broke up I’ve been updated with further texts from the mother of birthday boy asking for deposits for the karting (£20) and the remainder on the day (£30) THEN that was followed up by a request for £20 for the transport Hmm

This morning she (in my opinion) has the gall to request we pack a generous picnic with ice packs and pack extra so the birthday boy doesn’t have to bring anything

I was going to decline following the minibus request but ds was so happy to be invited - I think this is the final straw and I’ll instead take ds and a friend karting myself at this rate

DH says I should like it or lump it and if everyone else seems to be going then it would be a shame for ds to miss out

OP posts:
EllebellyBeeblebrox · 08/08/2019 16:34

Surely you don't invite kids to a party and expect them to pay?! I'm astonished at this and really cross for you!!!

namechangedforthis1980 · 08/08/2019 16:37

This is bizarre! Anyway, pleased you've decided on a trip to TP instead OP!

Bunnyfuller · 08/08/2019 16:40

So between you all, you are effectively funding the whole party AND expected to give a voucher? She’s not daft, is she?!

mathanxiety · 08/08/2019 16:54

That goes way beyond cheeky fuckery.

I don't think there is a word for what it is.

Brass neck seems too tame.

Brazen?

GabsAlot · 08/08/2019 17:01

Its not even his birthday-classic cf

flumpybear · 08/08/2019 17:04

Text the whole group and say it's £35 per head including food, BBM perhaps check the organisation has the correct details about the party ... she's a cheeky fucker and sounds like she's trying to make a fast buck out of school friends - skanky thing to do

YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan · 08/08/2019 17:16

I had a similar problem. We were away on holiday when the mother sent me a text asking if my son could go to her sons paintballing party. I assumed it would be a local place about two miles away and said yes. She texted back to say she would put a note through our door with all the details on.

When I got home and read the note, I discovered it was in the grounds of a very posh hotel about 45 mins drive away. I needed to pay extra for my sons paintballs and extra for his meal afterwards. The hotel is in the middle of nowhere, so the other mothers were all going for afternoon tea which I'd have to pay for if I wanted to join them. By the time I added in petrol and a present, that would have been around £100 to attend the party.

I challenged her about it and said I couldn't afford it, and she said she was a single mother of one, so she couldn't afford a party. She'd bought a Groupon voucher for £10 that gave them entry and equipment hire but it didn't include the paintballs or food and she couldn't afford to pay for everyone else.

I pointed out I was a single parent of three, so mine had parties in the house with a few friends and a pizza. I wasn't going to spend more on her sons party than I spent on my own sons party. She thought I was being selfish?!

cstaff · 08/08/2019 17:25

Some people really have no shame. I am glad that you have made other arrangements for your son and his friends.

CitadelsofScience · 08/08/2019 17:33

Good grief, when mine turned 14 we said he could go to XXX with a couple of friends. We'd do the driving which was a nearly 200 mile round trip but the boys would have to pay their own entry of less than £15 and money for food and we didn't expect them to pay for our son or give any gifts either. They organised it between themselves and they just turned up at the allotted time at our front door.

It was a boiling hot day, the air conditioning in the car had stopped working so we stopped to buy shamefully lots of bottles of water for them rather than them spend their own money.

This is usually how a 14 yr old boys birthday works these days. Not the crazy arsed thing the Ops son was invited too.

HeadintheiClouds · 08/08/2019 17:37

That was good of you, Citadel , not making them pay for their own water Confused If it was less than £15pp you could have pushed the boat out a bit...

CitadelsofScience · 08/08/2019 17:40

No HeadintheClouds it's just not the way it's done with him and his mates. We all pay for our own kids each and every time.

slipperywhensparticus · 08/08/2019 17:44

£2000 birthday party actually OVER TWO THOUSAND POUNDS on a BIRTHDAY PARTY?

Can you imagine paying about £100 a go for each of his 30 classmates birthday parties? THREE THOUSAND POUNDS can you afford this op?

Jaxhog · 08/08/2019 17:52

Good for you, and I understand DS wanting a 'white lie'.

So she's asking DS and his classmates to reward HER DS! CF indeed.

AlwaysCheddar · 08/08/2019 17:56

She’ll be making a hefty profit charging that much. Anyone who pays must be stupid.

Pipandmum · 08/08/2019 18:01

Well the Sun has picked this up.. just saw it on my news app.

Original poster
FurCoatNoSnickers · 08/08/2019 18:03

@slipperywhensparticus- errrr no
That’s why mine have mates over for a sleepover and gaming and as much fast food as their bellies can hold-

Turns out this lady does indeed have form. Her children attend something my friend is also a member of. She’s done this before and I think she moves from group to group.

Interesting - ds has said that actually her son is really nice and well liked by staff and pupils alike. I’ve extended an invitation for him to come out with us next week. I won’t bill her for anything Wink

I digress- thanks all for your input.

OP posts:
SunnyCoco · 08/08/2019 18:05

Treated them to a bottle of water 😂😂😂😂😂

slipperywhensparticus · 08/08/2019 18:51

Well we cant all choose our parents Grin

CoraPirbright · 08/08/2019 18:53

I agree with Fetchez:
I'd be tempted to text the whole group 'Just to let you know - according to their website, kartingworld charges £35/head for birthday parties and that includes cake and food - so they seem to have made a mistake calculating your package, as you've quoted us £50/head without any food'.

If I was feeling particularly peeved, I might blind-copy in all the other mothers. This goes way beyond cheeky & borders on fraud imo.

Jinxed2 · 08/08/2019 19:02

Sod that!!! That’s not a birthday party!!!!

GrouchoMrx · 08/08/2019 19:52

If it's in The Sun, it must be true. Wink

Kerrywerrywoo1 · 08/08/2019 21:54

Bloody hell. That greedy cows getting the mums to pay for her event....she gets the glory for the ‘party’.....that she’s making a nic profit from PLUS the excess huge profit will refund her for her sprogs pressy....so basically the cheeky cows paid fuck all for her sons birthday by the end and tucked away a nice lump sum for her Botox. No.......just explain to your lad sorry . If we accept this I will end up paying for EVERY fucking kids birthday at your school so it’s not gonna start. No invites to paid for parties. End. Of.

fargo123 · 09/08/2019 09:16

Turns out this lady does indeed have form. Her children attend something my friend is also a member of. She’s done this before and I think she moves from group to group.

I'd love to hear more about this.... Any further details, OP?

Original poster
FurCoatNoSnickers · 09/08/2019 14:51

Nope
Given the Sun sticking their beak in.

I’ve said enough 🤭

OP posts:
FelixFelicis6 · 09/08/2019 15:05

fargo123 well doesn't that sound like a journalist's question!