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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To make the neighbours babysit

135 replies

Ritatheryvita · 07/08/2019 12:52

Background: Dd is 8 months old. Her sleep is awful. She really fights naps and sleep. Breastfeeding and Co-sleeping no longer works. Last night I couldn't get her to sleep until 11pm having tried to put her down at 6.30pm when she was clearly tired. She'd had a total of a 20 minute nap all day.

Today she napped at 8am for 45 minutes - yay! Then put her down again at 12 and she fell asleep within a few minutes - double yay! Then our next door neighbour got out his chainsaw and started hacking away at his apple tree so she's now had a 10 min nap and is completely wired. This is it now, she'll get no more sleep until bedtime. I have to take dd1 to the Dr's for 2pm which is a 20 minute walk away and she will talk the entire way there and back thus rendering it impossible for her sister to sleep.

So, would I be unreasonable to take the baby next door and ask them to deal with her for the rest of the day because she's going to be absolutely miserable all afternoon and, yet again, dd1 will have to be completely ignored whilst I deal with the baby.

(FYI - neighbour knows the baby's sleep is awful because they have commented on hearing her cry and I told them about how crap her sleep is. They know I'm at home and I was putting her down for a nap at 12 because they spoke to me at 11. 50 when we were in the garden and I told them I was going in to put her down for a nap!!)

OP posts:

MmmBlowholes · 07/08/2019 12:54

Just chainsaw your neighbour.

MmmBlowholes · 07/08/2019 12:54

I am, quite obviously, joking.

DontBeOffensive · 07/08/2019 12:55

YABU the world doesn't revolve around your baby. Sleep training is the answer but not yet as she is only 8 .months. good luck OP

crispysausagerolls · 07/08/2019 12:55

There is nothing more powerful than the rage you feel when someone wakes up your baby! Particularly when you are exhausted yourself

Nicknacky · 07/08/2019 12:56

It’s annoying but your neighbour can’t not do general maintenance because you have a baby.

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 07/08/2019 12:56

Chainsaw your neighbor haha
No advice either

Drum2018 · 07/08/2019 12:57

Maybe have a word to the gp about your baby's sleep pattern. Life goes on around everyone when they have a baby. You cannot expect your neighbours to work around your baby's naps.

Megan2018 · 07/08/2019 12:58

YABU - not your neighbours problem. It is perfectly acceptable for them to use a chainsaw out whenever they feel like it during daytime hours.

Conversely - our first baby due in 5 weeks, I am looking forward to her crying disrupting next door as we currently have to listen to their blinking dog bark. Revenge will be sweet especially if we put the cot against the party wall

chamenanged · 07/08/2019 13:00

Are you joking about asking them to look after your baby for the rest of the day? You must be but it reads almost as if you aren't!

Drum2018 · 07/08/2019 13:00

My sil had a sleep trainer in when baby was 5 months - worked a charm so I don't see why 8 months is too young.

Original poster

Ritatheryvita · 07/08/2019 13:08

I wasn't planning on asking, I was thinking of just knocking and walking off......

I'm just really angry with them. I don't expect other people to plan their lives around my children but they knew I was putting her down for a nap and going out later. If this was the other way round I'd have waited.

I will probably have to light that bonfire I've been planning to do 5 mins after they put out their washing to dry

OP posts:

MarieBaroneIsMyMom · 07/08/2019 13:10

PFB?

Nicknacky · 07/08/2019 13:10

Maybe they can’t do it later. There is no point being angry, life doesn’t revolve round your child’s naps.

Original poster

Ritatheryvita · 07/08/2019 13:12

Pfb

You've obviously not read my post

OP posts:

MyOtherProfile · 07/08/2019 13:12

Not PFB since OP said she has to take dd1 to drs.

I think you need to speak to GP. There's no reason normally why a baby shouldn't sleep in the buggy while older sibling is chatting. I would ask for help. Babies need to learn to sleep anywhere.

Bluntness100 · 07/08/2019 13:13

I don't expect other people to plan their lives around my children but they knew I was putting her down for a nap and going out later

I'm sure you can see the contradiction in this statement. You clearly wish people to plan their lives round your child

I get your tired, but your neighbour has done nothing wrong.

Original poster

Ritatheryvita · 07/08/2019 13:15

Maybe they can’t do it later

It's not urgent plus it's a piddly little tree where shears would have sufficed.

I wouldn't have minded if they hadn't known I was putting the baby down for a nap and taking dd1 to the drs later. It's the fact that they KNEW I was putting her down for a nap. Why do something that is going to make so much noise?!

OP posts:

StupidlittlepricknamedRick · 07/08/2019 13:16

Omg you're like one of my neighbours. Kids aren't allowed to play out, lawns aren't to be mowed, even the bin men are bastards because the whole world should stop for their precious baby to nap.
Get. A. Life.

Nicknacky · 07/08/2019 13:17

It doesn’t need to be urgent, they want to do it. And if it’s just a wee tree then it won’t take long.

BackforGood · 07/08/2019 13:17

YAobviouslyBU. You can't expect neighbours to work around your baby's sleep patterns - even if they were regular.
But total sympathy for your sleep deranged thoughts. It is a tough time when you can't sleep.

HelenaJustina · 07/08/2019 13:17

You sound exhausted and at the end of your tether.

My Mum thrust my brother into the arms of a door-to-door salesman who had banged on the front door loudly and persistently for 5 minutes. He was a nightmare baby, slept only upright and for short periods, cried almost constantly. Nowadays he would be diagnosed with silent reflux or similar...

Be kind to yourself, 8 months is a very long time to be running on such little sleep.

BadassBusty · 07/08/2019 13:17

I am a mum myself to a not-so-great sleeper but if a neighbour had told me the same about their baby it probably wouldn't even occur to me to not do something noisy if that is what I had planned to do - people just get on with their lives.

We use white noise on an old iPhone which drowns out a lot of the background noise so she sleeps better - have you tried that? We didn't think of it until around 6 months. Works a charm.

Otherwise you are being crazy - she woke up, that's life. Parenting is hard but it's a choice most of the time.

Whoops75 · 07/08/2019 13:18

Your baby won’t sleep in the buggy if your child is talking!

That’s very unusual.
Have you spoken to the doctor or health visitor?

Original poster

Ritatheryvita · 07/08/2019 13:18

@MyOtherProfile I agree! She use to sleep through anything, I don't understand what has happened over the past couple of months for her to be like this.

@Bluntness100 yes I know I am contradicting myself. I'm just angry.

OP posts:

Sunandrainallconfusedhere · 07/08/2019 13:20

Maybe they are scheming to keep your baby awake all day hoping she will sleep tonight and won't disturb them?!
And you don't need to neglect dd1 just to deal with dd2....

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