I have NC
I come from a European country where the lifestyle is pretty different to the UK, people turn up to other people's houses without asking first and hosting is generally quite casual.
I have lived in London for 30 years and I have hosted friends and family many many times. Where I come from the host will usually look after their guests, even if they have invited themselves.
I never really thought much of this but when my own DC were young, I realised that we never got invited back, ever.
My oldest friend, who lives in my own hometown, stayed with me in London many times. Despite this, she would sometimes not even be available to even meet me for coffee whenever I was visiting my hometown, almost like it was too much effort to break her own routine. There was never any pressure on her to host for us as my DC and I were staying with my own parents.
Yet at one point when my own DC were 8 and 5, my oldest friend and her husband decided to have a break without her DD, left her with her mother and came over to London 'to see me', except they didn't see much of me outside having breakfast (prepared by me), and dinner, also prepared by me after putting my own kids to bed. I felt used as a B&B after they left and I had to change bedding, wash towels, etc, after having done extra shopping and cooking to facilitate their own little break.
Fast forward 7 years, and out of the blue I receive a phonecall from my oldest friend's husband saying he wants to surprise them (my friend and their daughter) with an impromptu holiday to London next week.
I can't think of anything I'd rather do less right now than having to make an effort to host other people. I work term time only and I am making the most of not cleaning, cooking or organising any activities as DC are old enough to do their own thing. I quite simply do not want to do it. It's more effort than I want to make, I haven't got the energy or the will. DH says she's my oldest friend and we should host them but actually why??? They will NEVER reciprocate. DH says I am holding a grudge and that whatever happened was years ago. What say you?