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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be hurt by “friends” comments about my LO

106 replies

LadyStigma · 05/08/2019 23:34

I recently reached out to “friend” I’d had difficulties with before.
She was unsupportive as soon as I was pregnant but that was understandable as she had lost 2 babies herself so that wasn’t a big issue.
Once LO was born she was around a lot but started making digs at the baby-
“Why does the brat cry so much” 6 week old with CMPA
“No wonder they are fat with how much they are on the boob”
And also a few other things like laughing at the babies double chin and being unsupportive with PND.

Getting better in myself I reached out to try and mend branches as she was hurting it was semi understandable. 5 months later my LO is 7 months.
“Friend” still continuously called them fat
Mentioned how she would never want kids if they were like that
That they wouldn’t be worth giving up dairy and soya for while breastfeeding.
She also said “haha look at the state of them” at my little one who is actively cruising along furniture at 7 months (while slightly unsteady as they just started 2 days ago I’m 100% a proud mum)

Worst of all it really stung for her to say “babies who aren’t cute tend to turn into good looking adults”
Now my babies adorable, not being bias, I’m actively stopped in the street by strangers every time I’m out who call them gorgeous.

Am I being unreasonable for being upset because I’m the idiot who thought she’d have went back to the friend she was prior to the pregnancy? Did I set myself up for it?

OP posts:
OpheliaTodd · 05/08/2019 23:35

She’s a bitch. Ditch her. You’ll be happier.

Isittheend · 05/08/2019 23:36

She is clearly not a friend. Time to move on from her.

superfudge · 05/08/2019 23:36

You are not unreasonable at all. I can't believe what I am reading, such upsetting comments. This is no friend OP.

I'm not sure how you can spend time with them :(

LaMainDeFatima · 05/08/2019 23:36

She is jealous and bitter

Lily2811 · 05/08/2019 23:37

I don't think you can call this woman a friend anymore. She sounds toxic and nasty. I agree with pp, let this friendship go.

LaMainDeFatima · 05/08/2019 23:37

She is jealous and bitter

Frownette · 05/08/2019 23:37

She sounds awful, cut contact

fifipop185 · 05/08/2019 23:37

Ditch her and concentrate on your gorgeous LO. Thanks

fifipop185 · 05/08/2019 23:38

Ditch her and concentrate on your gorgeous LO. Thanks

fifipop185 · 05/08/2019 23:38

Sorry for the double post OP.

HollowTalk · 05/08/2019 23:38

You should have cut contact the first time she insulted your baby. For god's sake, you are your baby's protector. Stop seeing this woman.

Wildorchidz · 05/08/2019 23:38

Steer clear of her.
Have you other friends?

chickenyhead · 05/08/2019 23:38

Wow

As your kids get older they will hear this abuse.

She would not be my friend, regardless how sorry I felt for her

lifeinthedeep · 05/08/2019 23:39

I think I’d have slapped anyone who said something like that about my 8 month old. Tell her to fuck off. Even after a loss that’s an awful thing to do to a friend.

Also, well done to the little one for cruising! Thats impressive at 7 months x

FMFL · 05/08/2019 23:39

Ditch her OP and don’t look back. Your gorgeous baby deserves love and praise and you don’t need a “friend” like that.

CalmdownJanet · 05/08/2019 23:41

Well no you didn't set yourself up for it BUT now you know what's she's like you are continuing to set yourself up for it by staying friends with her! Plenty of people have had miscarriages (myself included), it doesn't give people the right to be a bitch, ditch her!

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 05/08/2019 23:43

She's jealous, bitter and a complete and utter twat.

You being understanding of her losses doesn't give her carte blanche her to be such a vicious cunt.

I couldn't be in the same room as her- she is an ex-friend, not a friend.

Jojobears · 05/08/2019 23:45

She’s not a friend. Get her out of your life

nicenewdusters · 05/08/2019 23:46

Wow she's a complete nightmare. I'd block her out of my life . She's not a friend, she's a bitter, nasty person.
,

BumbleBeee69 · 05/08/2019 23:47

wow what a nasty spiteful bitch she is, and I agree with everyone on here, she is NO friend. Flowers

JustMe81 · 05/08/2019 23:47

Ditch her! I can see maybe letting the first remake slide but repeated comments against your baby aren’t on. She’ll be no loss to you or your child.

Original poster
LadyStigma · 05/08/2019 23:47

I do have other friends but none as long as her, she’s been in my life since nursery which is why I did give so many chances with her.

LO comes first and honestly I’d never be comfortable with someone so negative around them. I’ve officially drew a line under this friendship now though, it’s not coming back.

And oh god am I so proud of my cruising, standing, hiya and dada shouting baby.

OP posts:
Putyourdamnshoeson · 05/08/2019 23:49

Get. Rid. Of. Her.

dollydaydream114 · 05/08/2019 23:50

Yes. What everyone has said. She is jealous, bitter and you absolutely do not need, and should not have, this woman in your life.

It's awful that her own pregnancies ended with her losing her babies, but if she can't handle being around other people's children she should take a step back from them and seek some help for her issues, instead of being so utterly vile to you and saying hurtful things about your children. She isn't your friend. Don't see her again, and she asks why, tell her - and then still don't see her again. She's foul.

I've got friends who have miscarried multiple times and one whose baby died at just a few days old. Being around babies can be very hard for them, but they would NEVER behave like this. Never.

dollydaydream114 · 05/08/2019 23:51

By the way - your baby sounds absolutely adorable :)