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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be hurt by “friends” comments about my LO

106 replies

LadyStigma · 05/08/2019 23:34

I recently reached out to “friend” I’d had difficulties with before.
She was unsupportive as soon as I was pregnant but that was understandable as she had lost 2 babies herself so that wasn’t a big issue.
Once LO was born she was around a lot but started making digs at the baby-
“Why does the brat cry so much” 6 week old with CMPA
“No wonder they are fat with how much they are on the boob”
And also a few other things like laughing at the babies double chin and being unsupportive with PND.

Getting better in myself I reached out to try and mend branches as she was hurting it was semi understandable. 5 months later my LO is 7 months.
“Friend” still continuously called them fat
Mentioned how she would never want kids if they were like that
That they wouldn’t be worth giving up dairy and soya for while breastfeeding.
She also said “haha look at the state of them” at my little one who is actively cruising along furniture at 7 months (while slightly unsteady as they just started 2 days ago I’m 100% a proud mum)

Worst of all it really stung for her to say “babies who aren’t cute tend to turn into good looking adults”
Now my babies adorable, not being bias, I’m actively stopped in the street by strangers every time I’m out who call them gorgeous.

Am I being unreasonable for being upset because I’m the idiot who thought she’d have went back to the friend she was prior to the pregnancy? Did I set myself up for it?

OP posts:

LatteLove · 05/08/2019 23:54

I suspect she might be in self preservation mode if she’s suffered losses, but regardless she sounds horrible! Who says that about a tiny baby, far less to their mum who is supposed to be a friend!

Tell her a few home truths, then to fuck off, then block her. Bitch.

FirstTimeToddlerMum · 06/08/2019 00:09

Will never understand how people can be like this towards babies

She sounds toxic , also very jealous. Although her losses are sad it doesn't justify being a nasty cow. If we all used that excuse in life there would no hope.

FirstTimeToddlerMum · 06/08/2019 00:09

Will never understand how people can be like this towards babies

She sounds toxic , also very jealous. Although her losses are sad it doesn't justify being a nasty cow. If we all used that excuse in life there would no hope.

nanbread · 06/08/2019 00:09

Sadly, 1 in 4 (or more) women have had miscarriages, assuming that's what she went through. I know so many women that have had that happen to them, and never have I once heard anyone talk like that.

It's not an excuse. She's just an awful bitch.

Catsandchardonnay · 06/08/2019 00:13

Slightly missing the point, but why have you given up dairy?

POP7777777 · 06/08/2019 00:17

It sounds as if she's hurting through the loss of her babies and feeling envious and it's her way of coping. However, this is your beautiful baby she's making digs at and it's inexcusable. Give her a wide berth.

Original poster

LadyStigma · 06/08/2019 00:20

@Catsandchardonnay LO has CMPA and gets a really sore bowel when I have dairy, wasn’t diagnosed until week 16 of 8 hours of screaming per day and bad reflux. Within 2 weeks no dairy she was a new baby

OP posts:

cheesemongery · 06/08/2019 00:31

What a shame your friendship has ended over something so beautiful. I understand she may be hurting, and is probably deeply jealous but you need to move on.

I wish mine were back at that age! My beautiful daughter now 10 was a dead ringer for 'Big Mo' from Eastenders when she was toddling!!

(no offense 'Big Mo')

movingontosomethingnew · 06/08/2019 00:38

Get shot of this arsewipe and find a new friend.

movingontosomethingnew · 06/08/2019 00:38

Get shot of this arsewipe and find a new friend.

susan82 · 06/08/2019 00:44

She sounds utterly vile. Who in their right mind insults an innocent baby??! Get rid!

Pantsomime · 06/08/2019 00:50

She sounds quite young and immature. Can you suggest she seeks counselling for her losses, start by stating that dome of the things she says to you suggest she needs someone she can open up to

OwlBeThere · 06/08/2019 00:57

It sounds like she is just lashing out as a method of protecting herself. but that doesn't mean you have to put up with it.

why are you referring to your daughter as they/them by the way?

Original poster

LadyStigma · 06/08/2019 00:58

@Pantsomime she does have a therapist who she’s been seeing for a while now.

I honestly understand how much she must be hurting but I feel like I’m going mad with the comments though. They are so hurtful and even worse when they are directed at my little one and she says them in such a neutral tone sometimes with a smile on her face it just makes me feel unsure on whether I have a right to be hurt or not. But I’ve spent the past 6 hours replaying it in my mind and I’ve not been able to get over it. Definitely cannot condone this.

OP posts:

StoppinBy · 06/08/2019 01:00

Time to let her go. She's a bitch!

My babies were both b/f, both dairy/soy intolerant. First was a really skinny baby, a little china doll, second was a little fatty, three chins and so many rolls we had to powder him lol.

You sound like you are doing awesome, don't let her make you doubt yourself.

Original poster

LadyStigma · 06/08/2019 01:01

@OwlBeThere I thought her gender would make it overly telling but the details in my post would make if obvious to anyone who may know me anyway so I gave up 🙈

OP posts:

Original poster

LadyStigma · 06/08/2019 01:04

@StoppinBy omg yes! I have to powder her little rolls too, just the double chin but 4 rolls each arm which are just adorable. Both chubby and tiny babies are perfect!

OP posts:

MsDogLady · 06/08/2019 01:31

I would never expose my child to such a contemptuous person.

DeeCeeCherry · 06/08/2019 01:40

Woman up and tell her to fuck off with her rudeness. That's your child she's talking about why would you even question anything? Do you want her still around as your child is growing up, making your child feel ugly with her cruel barbed comments? I wouldn't even be on here discussing it I'd have told her to get to fuck out of my house and don't come back, you're not welcome.

StoppinBy · 06/08/2019 01:42

I was kind of sad when I realised that I no longer had to powder my little chunky monkey lol.

Yes all little ones are adorable (but of course your own is always the cutest in the room )

Raspberrytruffle · 06/08/2019 02:02

Tell her to f£ck off silly b*tch, being understanding is one thing but she's been absolutely vile. If it were me she would only get the chance to insult my child once anything more and she would be missing teeth.

Italiangreyhound · 06/08/2019 02:02

Stay clear of her. You don't need this in your life.

Raspberrytruffle · 06/08/2019 02:06

I'm sorry but stand up for your child! Can you imagine how your child will feel when they start to understand these insults? Similar happened to me as a child and as a result I had no self confidence or self esteem. Ive never forgiven my mother who should of protected me but instead stud by and kept quiet whilst her best friend shouted abuse and name called me all because she felt awkward and embarrassed

Original poster

LadyStigma · 06/08/2019 02:40

Of course I stick up for my child, it’s not as if it was left without comment or ignored I’m not going to sit back passively and she was ushered to the door. My baby wouldn’t ever be left to be insulted by someone else when she understands it.

OP posts:

bluegirlgreen · 06/08/2019 02:41

@LadyStigma

Tell her to fuck off, and then ghost her.

She is a nasty, jealous bitter cow.

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