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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is this totally not on?

452 replies

Bellasblankexpression · 04/08/2019 17:18

Been away for the weekend as had an event to attend with DH. Let a relative stay in our flat while we were gone as they were attending a wedding in the area and it would save them hotel and massive cab costs etc.

They've stayed before so didn't think it would be a problem. Hadn't heard from them other than a text to say they'd be gone by the time we got back, which isn't unusual.

Got back to find the place is an absolute tip. It's filthy - I don't understand how so much mess has been created in such a short space of time. It looks like someone has been quite unwell in the bathroom and not bothered to clean up the erm...residue.
All the toilet paper has gone [there were five rolls when I left and two more in the cupboard].
A bottle of rum has been drunk - the empty bottle has been left on the side, no attempt to conceal it. A couple of glasses are missing, judging by some of the mess on the kitchen floor I would guess they were smashed.
Our soundbar isn't working because it looks like it's been knocked off the front of the tv unit and the lead has been damaged.
the pull cord on the light in the bathroom has been snapped.
Black marks have been trod in on the living room carpet and looks like some kind of food spillage by the sofa.

I am utterly shocked. Every other time they've stayed it's been left tidily, we don't expect it to be immaculate or anything, you know just not in chaos - relative hasn't been in contact aside from that one message, and has obviously just walked out and left it with no attempt to tidy up.

I am not being unreasonable in wanting to call them up and demanding to know wtf happened am I? I don't know whether I need to cool down a bit and think rationally before I go in all guns blazing .

Never letting anyone stay when we aren't there again. Feel like an idiot.

OP posts:
fernsfordays · 04/08/2019 23:18

Omg I would go mental on them!!! Send them a bill for cleaning/repairs/damages!

ThanosSavedMe · 04/08/2019 23:21

I would be furious and never let her stay ever again. I would also be changing the locks in case a copy was made of your key. What a cf

Ohmygoodnessreally · 04/08/2019 23:21

So rude

Funghi · 04/08/2019 23:23

The very least she can do is cover the cost of the soundbar, rum and carpet clean.

Then she can fuck off.

PassMeAnotherCoffee · 04/08/2019 23:24

Hope you can resolve it tomorrow OP. Your cousin really needs to cough up.

fernsfordays · 04/08/2019 23:25

Does she have a boyfriend? Or did she take a date to the wedding? Maybe they got drunk and got into a domestic at your place. Seriously. Especially if this is so out of character. I bet she's super embarrassed.

NameChangedForTheDay · 04/08/2019 23:28

I'm getting over the fact that she's 28 and not 18. (Not that acting like this at 18 is acceptable).

Disgusting, immature and inconsiderate woman. I hope you tear a strip off her and her an apology and the cost for damages.

Smelborp · 04/08/2019 23:37

That’s gross. Hope she had the decency to apologise tomorrow. Surprised her mum didn’t wake her immediately though.

ColdCottage · 04/08/2019 23:38

Following as this is shocking. Sorry you had to deal with this. I'd be going crazy not being able to call them out on it. I hope she calls soon

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 04/08/2019 23:39

It doesn't matter if she's embarrassed. The fact she turned her phone off and is completely ignoring the OP is out of order.

fizzybubblepop · 04/08/2019 23:40

So bad of her to do that when you trusted her with your home. I hope you get an apology at the very least

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 05/08/2019 00:05

That's terrible behaviour, I'm also shocked at her mum not dragging her out of bed to call and gravel immediately, my parents would've if I'd done that! They'd be just as furious as the home owner if I'd been so disrespectful!

billy1966 · 05/08/2019 00:43

So she thrashed the house of her pregnant cousin, who was doing her a favour.

Apologies OP, I'm not a sap. I'd be absolutely furious.

Do not let this go.

Whether or not you are going to get any satisfaction I can't speculate but I would definitely let people mutual family know how your kindness was abused.

Your aunt is also a disgrace if she doesn't haul her out of bed to find out what the story is.

You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Your annoyance is totally understandable.

Isatis · 05/08/2019 00:46

I can't understand your aunt's reluctance to get her up. If it was my child I would be absolutely mortified and would personally drag her back to clear up.

Dieu · 05/08/2019 00:56

Shocking, OP. Truly dreadful behaviour. I would be furious.

Lolyora17 · 05/08/2019 02:59

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KitschBitch · 05/08/2019 07:06

Any update, yet OP?

bakingbabyv · 05/08/2019 07:24

Hope you can sort it OP & your cousin had a decent explanation!

KitKat1985 · 05/08/2019 07:24

I hope you get a grovelling, apologetic phone call this morning OP. She owes you that at least.

GreenTooth · 05/08/2019 10:17

Any update yet OP? Did you check your bins?

Ayemama · 05/08/2019 10:28

Urgh. There's nothing worse then family causing issues like this, lesson learnt and I hope you get it resolved.

Ayemama · 05/08/2019 10:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SavageBeauty73 · 05/08/2019 11:09

Outrageous!!!!!

chuttypicks · 05/08/2019 12:40

Have you spoken to her @Bellasblankexpression ? What was her explanation for the state she left your place in and has she suitably apologised and offered recompense? I bloody hope so!!

chuttypicks · 05/08/2019 12:40

Have you spoken to her @Bellasblankexpression ? What was her explanation for the state she left your place in and has she suitably apologised and offered recompense? I bloody hope so!!