Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or is this totally not on?

452 replies

Bellasblankexpression · 04/08/2019 17:18

Been away for the weekend as had an event to attend with DH. Let a relative stay in our flat while we were gone as they were attending a wedding in the area and it would save them hotel and massive cab costs etc.

They've stayed before so didn't think it would be a problem. Hadn't heard from them other than a text to say they'd be gone by the time we got back, which isn't unusual.

Got back to find the place is an absolute tip. It's filthy - I don't understand how so much mess has been created in such a short space of time. It looks like someone has been quite unwell in the bathroom and not bothered to clean up the erm...residue.
All the toilet paper has gone [there were five rolls when I left and two more in the cupboard].
A bottle of rum has been drunk - the empty bottle has been left on the side, no attempt to conceal it. A couple of glasses are missing, judging by some of the mess on the kitchen floor I would guess they were smashed.
Our soundbar isn't working because it looks like it's been knocked off the front of the tv unit and the lead has been damaged.
the pull cord on the light in the bathroom has been snapped.
Black marks have been trod in on the living room carpet and looks like some kind of food spillage by the sofa.

I am utterly shocked. Every other time they've stayed it's been left tidily, we don't expect it to be immaculate or anything, you know just not in chaos - relative hasn't been in contact aside from that one message, and has obviously just walked out and left it with no attempt to tidy up.

I am not being unreasonable in wanting to call them up and demanding to know wtf happened am I? I don't know whether I need to cool down a bit and think rationally before I go in all guns blazing .

Never letting anyone stay when we aren't there again. Feel like an idiot.

OP posts:
Didntwanttochangemyname · 04/08/2019 20:49

I really hope your cousin will replace the sound bar, that is really really out of order!

Poppyfields21 · 04/08/2019 20:52

How awful, hopefully she will wake up with serious remorse and try to make amends!

Skittlenommer · 04/08/2019 20:54

Even though you’ve tidied I’d get a professional cleaner in for a deep clean and charge your selfish cousin! You don’t know who has been in your home and you don’t know what they did while they were there.

Flyingnextweek · 04/08/2019 20:56

So awful, poor you.

FelixFelicis6 · 04/08/2019 20:57

What a cheeky cow!!

mummymayhem18 · 04/08/2019 20:59

Some people are so skanky. Even worse she's a relative. She's probably too ashamed to speak to you. Disgusting way to disrespect your home after you being so thoughtful to let her stay there.

Aquamarine1029 · 04/08/2019 21:00

You started this thread because you were so upset and needed support. None of us fault you for that, I assure you! What your cousin has done is unforgivable in my book. I'm so sorry for all the upset you're going through. I would be beside myself as well.

INeedAFlerken · 04/08/2019 21:04

Wow. Your Cousin is an absolutely selfish cow to have essentially trashed your home, stolen your things (alcohol), not replaced basics, and then left it in the state while hiding essentially by turning her phone off. Wow.

I hope your Aunt supports you. And she should be forced to come back and clean up the mess and pay for damages rather than force poor you, 17 weeks pregnant, to do so.

What a cow. Clearly had a party in your home.

Mummyshark2018 · 04/08/2019 21:15

I'm a fairly laid back person but I'd be livid. I thought you were describing a teenager not a grown woman. She obviously had a party, got pissed, had a huge hangover and ran away! No excuse. She should have done everything to make it even cleaner than it was when she left. Perhaps she was still drunk when she left???

FluffyCloudsInTheSky · 04/08/2019 21:21

Unacceptable behaviour! So does she still like with her DM?

jadeyfly · 04/08/2019 21:21

How disgusting and disrespectful. If I were the aunt, I'd be dragging her our if bed right away!

FrancisCrawford · 04/08/2019 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MamaOfBothTeams · 04/08/2019 21:35

I'm glad you got through to your aunt and hopefully you hear from your cousin soon, so rude to treat someone's house like that when they have done a favour

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 04/08/2019 21:44

Revolting. I know she was trying to save money, but if you think she has the money to pay for it, I’d get a professional cleaner in ASAP. Mine will wash and iron bedding.

pinkandstripey · 04/08/2019 21:46

I bet any money there's a sob story, related by your aunt in the next few days. She did it because her boyfriend dumped her... she's lost her job... she's got a bug so the alcohol hit her hard...

HiItsClemFandango · 04/08/2019 22:29

Agree with checking bins

JustAVoidReally · 04/08/2019 22:37

Get it said.

Letting things like this fester can have all sorts of unhealthy consequences that last a long time. Get it dealt with now and if they won't accept responsibility make THEM say so.

Allli · 04/08/2019 22:51

Omg, you’ve been so kind and thoughtful and they repay you like this. Shocking. They owe you big time.

Sarcelle · 04/08/2019 22:57

I bet her mum is mortified.

IndieTara · 04/08/2019 23:00

Def be straight with her so she knows how unacceptable this all is.
That must be some hangover but she still needs to take responsibility

fedup21 · 04/08/2019 23:05

Blimey-I would be livid if I were you!

TheTrollFairy · 04/08/2019 23:10

Your cousin is massively out of order. I hope she at least has the decency to pay you some money for the bits she has broken.
I don’t care how hungover you are, she knew what she was doing by leaving it

LagunaBubbles · 04/08/2019 23:10

What a disgusting abuse of your trust and home OP, no wonder you are angry! How much is your sound bar worth? Because my son has one and it was very expensive.

OneThingAndThenTheNext · 04/08/2019 23:11

Hope she is suitably apologetic when you manage to get hold of her OP

Zebraantelopegiraffe · 04/08/2019 23:14

Crazy she would do something like that though if you were previously close! What a nutter