Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or is this totally not on?

452 replies

Bellasblankexpression · 04/08/2019 17:18

Been away for the weekend as had an event to attend with DH. Let a relative stay in our flat while we were gone as they were attending a wedding in the area and it would save them hotel and massive cab costs etc.

They've stayed before so didn't think it would be a problem. Hadn't heard from them other than a text to say they'd be gone by the time we got back, which isn't unusual.

Got back to find the place is an absolute tip. It's filthy - I don't understand how so much mess has been created in such a short space of time. It looks like someone has been quite unwell in the bathroom and not bothered to clean up the erm...residue.
All the toilet paper has gone [there were five rolls when I left and two more in the cupboard].
A bottle of rum has been drunk - the empty bottle has been left on the side, no attempt to conceal it. A couple of glasses are missing, judging by some of the mess on the kitchen floor I would guess they were smashed.
Our soundbar isn't working because it looks like it's been knocked off the front of the tv unit and the lead has been damaged.
the pull cord on the light in the bathroom has been snapped.
Black marks have been trod in on the living room carpet and looks like some kind of food spillage by the sofa.

I am utterly shocked. Every other time they've stayed it's been left tidily, we don't expect it to be immaculate or anything, you know just not in chaos - relative hasn't been in contact aside from that one message, and has obviously just walked out and left it with no attempt to tidy up.

I am not being unreasonable in wanting to call them up and demanding to know wtf happened am I? I don't know whether I need to cool down a bit and think rationally before I go in all guns blazing .

Never letting anyone stay when we aren't there again. Feel like an idiot.

OP posts:
DPotter · 05/08/2019 19:10

I see what people mean about not involving the aunt because it's just perpetuating the irresponsibility of the cousin. However cousin was ignoring the phone calls so totally appropriate to up the ante and involve aunty. I also agree - you should tell your Mum OP and show her the images as well.
Send her a bill.

iano · 05/08/2019 19:11

Wow! She's a complete idiot isn't she. What a stupid excuse. And then not to own up straight away.
Tally up what she owes you and ask her to pay by Friday. I'd speak to aunt too. I guess that's the last time she'll stay over. Really stupid thing to do.

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 05/08/2019 19:13

40.00 carpet cleaner
25.00 rum
70.00 perfume
30.00 miscellaneous goods
50.00 your time cleaning
to be settled by friday with account details
Make it one expensive night out for your troubles.Send same to her parents so it doesn;t go missing
I would absolutely do this and tell her she is not welcome to your home again,
Make her as sorry as you were when you had to deal with the mess.

Wafflecopter · 05/08/2019 19:16

Jesus, she sounds like an absolute shit! I’m sorry you had to get home and scrub everything Sad

Atalune · 05/08/2019 19:16

Definitely bill here. And cc her mother into it. If she’s going to behave like a stupid child....

Pieceofpurplesky · 05/08/2019 19:18

Was she alone? Did she bring back
Someone?

Winterlife · 05/08/2019 19:18

@Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe, you forgot the biggest expense, the television soundbar.

Pieceofpurplesky · 05/08/2019 19:20

Sorry thread hadn't refreshed.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 05/08/2019 19:23

Oh my god! If she's going to behave like a child I wouldn't hesitate to involve her Mum.

Belenus · 05/08/2019 19:25

she had food poisoning

Ah yes. Funny how many people get food poisoning after drinking a bottle of rum.

Didntwanttochangemyname · 05/08/2019 19:25

Oh god, lesson learned there! Stupid woman (her, not you!) , thank goodness you know who she really is now.

billybagpuss · 05/08/2019 19:28

Wow, I trust you're invoicing her for cleaning fees and replacement of stolen items.

TheInvestigator · 05/08/2019 19:29

I don't understand what her end game is. Did she think you wouldn't notice, or that you'd notice but wouldn't be able to work out that she'd obviously had loads of people over. What did she think was going to happen? Idiot girl.

OnlyaMan · 05/08/2019 19:33

I have not read every post, because there are too many of them-so forgive me if I am repeating what has already been said.
Basically, the OP trusted a relative, and was mistaken to do so. The OP did not have a rental agreement, or anything like that. I think the OP must just live with it-and (obviously) make sure it does not happen again.
As for the damage-so much of it could be mendaciously attributed by the guests to "fair wear and tear" or accident. There is little point in pursuing that kind of thing-but is impossible for the guests to wriggle out of paying for the bottle of rum-so the OP is quite entitled to insist on payment for that.
As for everything else-I think the OP must chalk it up to experience.
It would be quite reasonable for the OP to inform other relatives or friends of what happened-the guests are unlikely to be offered anything similar in future from anyone else.

Wonkybanana · 05/08/2019 19:38

I have not read every post, because there are too many of them-so forgive me if I am repeating what has already been said.

I could have guessed your user name from that comment.

Thank you so much for bothering to take the time to tell us little ladies what the problem is, because of course no-one knew what to do until you came along to put us straight.

namechangedasscared · 05/08/2019 19:40

Really onlyaman STOLEN items can be chalked up wear and tear? No she should not chalk this up to experience and I don’t think you’d be so blasé if a relative had wrecked your house and stolen your belongings somehow.

OP don’t let this go - I hope she pays you back every penny for this? I cannot believe she tried to lie and tell you she had food poisoning - talk about pathetic.

The only good thing about it is you now know who she really is.

Sorry you’ve had this to deal with Flowers

supersop60 · 05/08/2019 19:41

I doubt if onlyaman would be quite so calm if this had happened in their house.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 05/08/2019 19:42

A rental agreement for a cousin staying for one wedding?!

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 05/08/2019 19:42

A rental agreement for a cousin staying for one wedding?!

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 05/08/2019 19:42

A rental agreement for a cousin staying for one wedding?!

Right-i-o...

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 05/08/2019 19:42

A rental agreement for a cousin staying for one wedding?!

Right-i-o...

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 05/08/2019 19:43

Fuck that shit-go in hard and I would be telling the whole family so she doesn’t do it to someone else’s home. And yes, speak to auntie and get her to pay if her daughter doesn’t.

Passthecherrycoke · 05/08/2019 19:43

A rental agreement for an overnight stay 🤣 you Wally

chickenyhead · 05/08/2019 19:44

All of these suggestions of going to the police are a little extreme.

They wont do anything as the OP willingly gave her access to her home and you cannot prove who stole/broke what.

I would sort it out in the family personally.

Passthecherrycoke · 05/08/2019 19:46

I think if she’s 28 and has any brains she’ll just ignore at the police threat tbh