to be furious

[suckerforbrowneyes]

My friend has had quite bad mental health for the past few years. She holds down a good job and has been married to her DH for about 6/7 years. He has a great job too.

She had a baby 7 weeks ago and had a rough pregnancy with sickness and other aches and pains. I have two children and was on hand to sympathise with her. I gave her quite a few items to borrow for her baby (yet to receive a thank you for these but hey ho)

Anyway, since the baby has been born I’ve checked in with her every maybe 5/6 days just asking how she is and general chit chat. Bare in mind she’s had poor mental health that continued into her pregnancy and she worried about it continuing and becoming PND.

Anyway, she replies to these messages and this morning I get a message from her obviously meant for someone else which read, “that c*nt sucker keeps annoying me with text messages asking how I am.” amongst other things not related to me.

I didn’t respond immediately but she obviously hadn’t realised she’d sent it to the wrong person.

I relied

“Far from being a c*nt, I was checking in every so often as I know a new baby can be a bit isolating. However, since this is your opinion of me, I suggest that here is where we draw a line under the friendship. I expect my children’s belongings which I let you borrow returned to me and I’ll pick them up this week.”

She has replied: “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it. You’ve been great to me in the past few months.”

Aibu to just say thanks but no thanks?

I can’t for the life of me work out why anyone with bad mental health issues would have a baby

With support and (potentially) medication, why not? Ditto physical disability (minus the medication).

Do people actually speak like that?! I’ve never heard anyone say (or text) anything so grim. She sounds like no loss to you OP. Even if it wasn’t directed at me, I couldn’t take someone seriously who talked about others using words like that.

She is no friend to you and not someone you need in your life.
Actually, I hope she see’s this thread so she realises how vile she is.

‘I didn’t mean it’ = 'Oh shit you've caught me being a total bitch but I don't want to give your things back so I'm backpedaling'

Do women actually speak about each other in that way?

G R I M

Another one who thought she called OP a bunt sucker.

How awful, sorry OP!

Hope you get your stuff back. She could have easily said ‘thanks so much for the messages, I’m feeling much better so don’t worry about checking in’ but she didn’t. So her loss.

Send your DH round to collect the stuff.

What a cow. Only reason to send that message is if she regularly talks about other people behind their back in horrible language. Ugh.

Who uses the term cunt sucker?

Dunno but I’m gonna start!

OP I wouldn’t even bother going round in person to pick your stuff up. Send your DH.

Well, in a way I'm glad you read that message sucker. At least now you know what she thinks of you and you can stop wasting your energy supporting this ungrateful, spiteful waste of space.

People saying oh I hate those are u ok texts are fucking appalling. How dare you throw kindness and thoughtfulness back in someone face just because it doesn't suit or its not enough. Sometimes it's all people have to give. And it's not enough?
Disgusting. Even if you are going through a hard time you have no fucking idea what it could have taken for someone else to say hey I'm thinking of you and hope you are ok. But no. It's not enough. You want a casserole. Fuck that. If a kind thought cant be taken as that then thats on you. Not the sender.
As for the message from the so called friend, block and ignore. Ignorant wagon.

It's not worth throwing a whole friendship away for. I'm sure we've all moaned about people behind their back before to our partners or friends and not really meant it.

You might be OK about someone slagging you off to other people but the majority wouldn't be! There's a difference between moaning about someone and calling them vile names when they have tried to be kind.

I kind of agree with banana. Sometimes showing that you are thinking of someone and a message is all you have time to give the other person. Is it then better to ignore them completely, as you can´t offer them food or an afternoon or whatever? I've always been glad when a friend sent a message, not thought that they should have done more.

Time for a reshuffle of friends hun!
That must have been heart breaking to see on your phone and probably made you doubt your kindness. Not acceptable.

And a c^%$#. That's really horrid. And now she knows you know! So there is an integrity issue to maintain. MH or not, dump her ungrateful a&&!!

Cunt sucker has got to make it into routine MN lingo

Send your dh round to get your things, she isn’t worth even speaking to at the door

re. banana's point - if it's just a message saying "just thinking of you, hope you're ok, let me know if you need anything, call me anytime" then I agree - can't see the problem.

If it's a message saying "How are you? Are you ok? Haven't heard from you in a while, how are things going?" then I can see how that might be aggravating - it's less supportive and more demanding-of-answers.

But if people complain about the first type of message then they're really not doing themselves any favours at all and people will just stop checking in if they fear that a supportive message like that would cause them to be thought of as a cunt.

OP because that's horrible.

On the plus side, I was thinking it was time for a name change, and I now know what it's going to be....

I wouldn't even go and collect the stuff, I would make her bring it round to you!
That's awful OP, you're just trying to be nice. Definitely stay far away now. You're response to her was 👌

Btw I shall be using c*nt sucker from now on! 😂

I thought she’d said cunt sucker too 😂 genuinely thought who the hell uses that 😂 I too shall be using this in future 😂

ArDali1, the problem is that you can't make someone do something.

If the OP wants the stuff back she will have to offer to collect it.

I’m laughing at the outraged posters who obviously haven’t RTFT being horrified at cuntsucker 😂😂😂

@suckerforbrowneyes send your dh around so you don’t have to deal with the inevitable dramatics.

And she isn’t necessarily texting a mutual friend. It could be a sister or cousin that she’s already moaned to. Still horrible, but doesn’t mean that two of your friends are - well, cuntsuckers!

What an ungrateful cow.

Shown her true colours. You can move on now.

Better off without her OP.

When I had PND I'd have loved it if someone had texted me every few days just to stay in contact. Especially since a text can be dealt with whenever you feel able to. I had zero contact with anyone and it made everything so much worse
Same here, I would have at the time given up a limb to have someone so obviously care, enough to contact a few times a week.
I spent a very long time lonely and depressed. I would not ever have called them names, certainly not behind their back.
To OP you tried, hold your head up high that you did the right thing. Sorry it was thrown in your face.

Guys I’m so proud that this thread may have come up with some new MN lingo, even if it is utterly vile

She’s messaged me a few times with her apologies and I’ve not replied other than to say I’ll collect my children’s things on Tuesday and she agreed.

I’ve given her a next to me crib, cot top changer and a few other pretty expensive things. She better get her hand in her pocket and buy her own things.

No doubt I’ll get a message to tell me what a cunt sucker I’m being.