Childminder and car seats

[ineedtovent]

I have a 22 month old DD and am looking for a new childminder currently.

My DD is still rear facing as it's obviously safer and I've no intention to front face her until there is a real reason to- it's something I'm quite passionate about as I work in a&e and see the outcomes of car accidents first hand.

We went to see a potential new childminder who advertises that she likes to take the children out on lots of trips out, and as such I was looking at the car seats.

I noted that she a) had really terrible quality seats (the cheapest available level cheap). I asked which seat my DD would be likely to go in and she pointed out a branded Disney one which I've looked at online since and had very very poor safety ratings. B) she said that she would not want to put my dd rear-facing despite my preference (and the endless evidence it's safer) as she would worry that if dd was sick in the car she wouldn't be able to see her.... when I suggested using mirrors to see the children the story changed to 'by 18 months they're too heavy to manoeuvre into a rear-facing position' and 'their legs look all scrunched up'. She made it very clear that she would have a go at putting dd rear facing but would probably find it too much hard work and turn her frontwards facing. Dd is small for her size for what it's worth.

The rubbish car seat is not the main issue as I have one I could leave with them for the day she is there, it's more the attitude towards car safety and parent wishes.

I will not be going with this childminder as she does not prioritise child safety (in my opinion)... but AIBU? Have spoken to friends with kids who think that I am being OTT. Do I need to accept that I cannot expect childcare to take the same approach to car safety as I do? I don't think I do, and am hoping other childminders will be better, but interested to hear other opinions!

I think if you are clear on what you want and she isn't willing to accomodate that you have a clear picture of who she is - why are you second guessing yourself? You have dodged a stressful time - if she is not willing to help you with what you consider an important safety issue find someone who is more liked minded to yourself. You need to stop worrying what your friends think - its your child and you who have to live with your decisions.

Sorry just missed it - well done on the new child minder.

So glad you found a new CM. This would have been a complete dealbreaker for me. My CM took my 1yo DS out FF in an emergency trip to pick up her own DS from school. She'd completely forgotten that I'd requested RF only and was massively apologetic. You shouldn't be worried about being called picky, this is your child and the law isn't good enough for car seats!!

A child minder can only have one child under 1, so many may work on the basis that that they only need to accommodate 1 baby carrier OR group 1 RF seat. A RF seat mat be similar space wise to a baby carrier (not sure I agree on that tho) but they certainly require the front seats further forward than a FF group 1 or HBB which is the common comparison.

I'm a fan of ERF, I think everyone likes it in principle, but will have to shift my 30 month old to FF when his sibling arrives as we can't fit a rear facing seat behind tall DH and of course must rear face the new baby.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Driving is the most dangerous thing we do with children and extended rear facing is so much safer. If a childminder has 3 car seats you'd think she'd have researched what she was buying. That Disney carseat is about the same price as our spare Joie car seat which is rear facing up to 18 kg and is really small so fits easily in our van and grandparents car. If it was something more trivial I'd let it go but this issue could literally kill your child.

My daughter's grandparents bought a £30 harmony carseat from Asda which didn't even fit their car when I read the instructions (which they obviously hadn't read 🙄) for babysitting and didn't do EXRF. I made them take it back and they were sooo butthurt about it for ages but it isn't something to compromise on.

Nurseries can be great even if they're inside a lot as your child will always be doing different activities and busy with other children. Our nursery has a field and a bit of a park in the school next door which seems to be enough stimulation for the children. I'd keep looking for another childminder or nursery, you don't want to be at work worrying if your child is in a car crash!

Late to this but I dont think YWBU, however actually I think she is ok to be doing what she is doing. It isnt ideal but it is legal.

My DS starts with a CM next month (fuck I'm dreading it) and finding one round feel comfortable with is both really hard and really important!