to ask for help with this cryptic/mysterious letter received today

[BettySundaes]

Correctly addressed to our house. Inside just the brief note, and two feathers. I'm pretty sure it's not meant for anyone here, no return address, very curious about its meaning though.

Most older people I know have the most beautiful cursive handwriting because they were still taught it in school then. I’d say under 60 for sure.

Haha, what the fuck?

Very creepy how long have you lived at your address? Have you asked anyone else that you live with if it makes sense to them? Hope you get to the bottom of it that would drive me mad trying to work out

I initially took it to mean if the soldiers in WWI had spent more time pleasuring themselves (and less time fighting) there would have been less bloodshed.

Its katrina makes waves and Katrina on cleaning.

Is it possibly meant for a previous occupant of your house? maybe an old military person has sent it - It might have meaning to someone.

I don't think it's even vaguely threatening. Clearly the wrong address.

It references some in joke - I'm guessing Katrina is a cat or child? (both for you or one for you and KMW or KOC).

Maybe it's a note following up on a date? (and the person gave the wrong address...)

I read the beginning of the last para as "Ang it's either both for you..." - as in, short for Angela?

To me it reads like part of a private in joke or conversation where the person writing is so sure the recipient knows all about it that he or she isn't fully referencing everything.

I am imagining a Meetup where person 1 (Ang) says she is doing a particular craft project but is missing a couple of feathers. Person 2 (sender) says "oh I have a couple, I can stick them in an envelope for you". During the course of the evening they reminisce about Katrina and the waves and Ang grumbles that her dh thinks she should spend less time crafting and more cleaning.
Person 2 jokes in her accompanying note that the two feathers are not meant in a WW1 sense and references a couple of the jokes they shared.

Yeah it's a stretch, but it might work?

I imagine some dolt this evening messaging their baffled acquaintance who lives next door to you, asking if they got the feather letter .

I read it as the white feathers not used in ww1, if more people spent time pleasing themselves (as in being selfish not going out to war) less bloodshed.

The next bit says... either both for you or one for you and one for katrina. I think this person is sending you this as a token of love but they also like a katrina they know or have seen around??

My take on it 🤔

Was it addressed to a person, or just your address?

I'm already ridiculously invested in this.

Let's think about all the clues we've got.
Those feathers actually look quite unusual. What bird do you think the dark blue one is from?

What was the postmark on the envelope - local?

My guess is someone off their tits on drugs or having some kind of episode?

It definitely says 'pleasuring themselves', not 'pleasing themselves'.

Could the feather for "Katrina on cleaning" be intended for a feather duster for her?

About an affair and the feathers are for the cowards who won't own up to it

There's an old Russian film about fetishes where one guy sticks feathers onto a papier mâché chicken head then pleasures himself until someone kills him by dropping a rock on his head in a quarry. There's probably a Katrina in it. Probably not that though

I totally read this as if someone had spent more time wanking then there would have been less hurt.

Is your OH having an affair?

Have they heard someone in your house making loud sex noises either alone or with the cleaner/someone you know called Katrina?

Was it hand delivered or through the post?

What I’m taking from this is that the sender is accusing the intended recipient of being a coward- and the emphasis re: WWI is on “they” so-
If THEY (soldiers) had spent more time pleasuring themselves (I.e, like you have, intended recipient) there would have been less bloodshed.

I think someone is writing in slightly confused metaphors, to accuse the person they’re writing to, of cowardice re: coming clean about an affair, with this Katrina person.

I find it sinister. They are suggesting that somebody at your address is having an affair.

I just googled KMW and this came up:

A German company that makes military supplies.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krauss-Maffei_Wegmann

Then I googled KOC and it's Kuwait Oil Company.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuwait_Oil_Company

Both companies connected to war! (Well, assuming oil and Kuwait is connected to the Gulf War?)

Maybe the Katrina bits are where they've made up a fake meaning of the acronyms (maybe why they put a ? after 'Katrina On Cleaning' and why neither really scans properly) but they're really referring to these companies related to war?

Have I just blown this case wide open?!

(or is it more like the bit in a Beautiful Mind where he thinks he's made a major breakthrough but he's just written nonsense on the windows and walls?)

I think the letter was meant for someone else and they had amazing, political injokes. Or the poor letter writer is unwell (but harmless)!

Sry it's either both for you or one for you

I read it as

“Try it’s either both for you or...”

Someone is either trying to invite you to the neighbourhood kink fest or they have seen you and DP at it and think you need to spice things up. How thick are your curtains? Or have you been cleaning nude, possibly whilst listening to Katrina and the waves?

Bizarre- the ref to WW1 & white feathers would seem to point to a much older person. The fact they are opposite of white - is that all they could find? Were they giving them as a darker meaning? Just odd.

eh Sarcelle? How you reckon that? It's got kisses at the end, clear references to in joke nicknames, and a slightly tongue in cheek reference to making love not war.

If you were going to anonymously point the finger at someone in a house, why do it in the style of a time cryptic crossword question? Unless the OP lives in Midsummer.

I took it that they couldn't find any white feathers so made do with what they could find.

Could you ask the postie if anyone called Katrina nearby?