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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask brother and sister in law to share a room?

107 replies

SarahJenkins50 · 03/08/2019 09:53

Im beginning to wonder if I’m being unreasonable, but when my brother and his wife come to visit they assume they will have separate rooms because they sleep separately at home due to his snoring. We are fortunate enough to have a spare room but not two! We either put the baby in with us, but she doesn’t sleep as well, or have to put a camp bed up in the living room for my brother which is inconvenient then for us in the morning with an early waking baby! I get that they sleep separately at home, but I would never dream of expecting people to put up two rooms for me, hubby and baby when we visit them even though we sleep in a different room to the baby at home. Is it me or are they being a bit too precious to expect us to put up two spare rooms for them (particularly as they now visit a lot more since we have the baby). Thanks all, have a great weekend!

OP posts:
newmomof1 · 03/08/2019 09:54

Put them in the same room. If they don't like it, they can get a hotel!

mummmy2017 · 03/08/2019 09:55

You tell them point blank there is a guestroom, share it or book a hotel....

pinkyredrose · 03/08/2019 09:56

Earplugs? Has he been investigated for sleep disorders?

thebestbe · 03/08/2019 09:56

YANBU

If they really can't sleep in the same room, they should get a hotel.

EdtheBear · 03/08/2019 09:56

WTF! No give them one room. Baby doesn't need to give up there room be unsettled for anybody.

I'd guarantee they'd be in one room if they were in the local hotel.

PooWillyBumBum · 03/08/2019 09:57

YANBU

My in laws sleep separately at home. Though he gets back into bed at 5.30 after making her tea for a cuddle 🥰 but when we holiday together they take one room and just deal with it. Sometimes MIL has to nap in the day but she never complains.

EL8888 · 03/08/2019 09:58

They can share a bedroom due to the space available. If they want to pick and choose then they need a hotel. You are doing them a favour after all. But l know people forget this!

littlepaddypaws · 03/08/2019 10:01

one room or hotel, their sleeping arrangements at home aren't your problems.

NoSauce · 03/08/2019 10:02

Yanbu it’s ridiculous of them to expect two separate sleeping areas.

fiorentina · 03/08/2019 10:05

My sister and BIL have separate rooms at home for the same reason but share on holiday, they are being unreasonable.

Thehop · 03/08/2019 10:06

They are being unreasonable!

Isatis · 03/08/2019 10:06

If they insist on the camp bed in the living room, warn your brother that you will have to go in there if the baby wakes because it's just not manageable otherwise. And be prepared to dump the baby on him if he still insists. He'll either stop visiting or decide they can put up with sleeping together.

BuffaloCauliflower · 03/08/2019 10:11

Echoing everyone else - no you’re not being U. They’re lucky you’ve one spare room for them to have, I certainly wouldn’t want them spreading over the rest of the house. If they really can’t share they need to get a hotel. And your brother needs to see a doctor

PuzzledObserver · 03/08/2019 10:12

If his snoring is that bad he should see his GP and ask to be assessed for possible obstructive sleep apnea. My DH was diagnosed with this and now uses a CPAP machine. He has completely stopped snoring.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 03/08/2019 10:14

I think offer the camp bed in the living room but tell him you’ll be in there from 6am or whatever.

TheRLodger · 03/08/2019 10:15

They are bu and very precious. Why should your dc be uprooted from their bedroom because they want what they have at home

gonewiththepotter · 03/08/2019 10:16

You’re fine to put them in the same room as long as you give them warning!

‘Looking forward to your visit but just wanted to say we won’t be able to put up the camp bed this time as (baby’s name) isn’t sleeping well and we may need use of the living room. You and DB are more than welcome to share the spare room if that works for you?’

Settlersofcatan · 03/08/2019 10:17

We have an early waking toddler and make clear to guests that either they all pile into the spare room or the person in the living room will be woken up early. Guests have to fit into our house.

Jojowash · 03/08/2019 10:18

Put in same room and say you have a sofa if his snoring becomes unbearable lol

S1naidSucks · 03/08/2019 10:19

I can guarantee if they booked into a hotel, there’s no way in hell there’d pay for two separate rooms. Actually, ask them what they do on holiday and when you get their answer, tell them that it’s too inconvenient for you to organise separate sleeping next time you visit. Point out that you end up exhausted with baby in the room and sorting out the separate bunk on top of running a home and raising a baby.

icelollycraving · 03/08/2019 10:24

What do they do on holiday?

Drum2018 · 03/08/2019 10:31

YANBU. I wouldn't pander to them. Next time they visit have one room made up and if they ask for a second space just say it doesn't suit. Or forewarn them as @gonewiththepotter suggested.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 03/08/2019 10:33

I sleep in a king size bed. When I visit my parents, I sleep in a single because that’s what they’ve got in their spare room. I can hardly expect them to buy me a new bed because I can’t cope for a night or two.

Blondebakingmumma · 03/08/2019 10:34

Have they complained?

bluekitten7 · 03/08/2019 10:36

@SarahJenkins50

There is no way I can share a room with my husband. I love him, but OMG does he snore!!! I simply cannot sleep, and it's unfair on me to have a ruined holiday when we go away, so we book separate rooms, every time. No different to 2 single people booking separate rooms on a holiday. I get sleep, and he doesn't get me jabbing him in the ribs to stop snoring. Everyone wins.

However, if we were to go visit someone 100s of miles away, and we had to stay overnight, I would absolutely book 2 rooms in a hotel, I would not expect them to provide 2 rooms for us. Not in a million years. So YANBU, and they ARE being unreasonable!

As a few pps have said, tell them to get a hotel room!

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