AIBU to ask brother and sister in law to share a room?

[SarahJenkins50]

Im beginning to wonder if I’m being unreasonable, but when my brother and his wife come to visit they assume they will have separate rooms because they sleep separately at home due to his snoring. We are fortunate enough to have a spare room but not two! We either put the baby in with us, but she doesn’t sleep as well, or have to put a camp bed up in the living room for my brother which is inconvenient then for us in the morning with an early waking baby! I get that they sleep separately at home, but I would never dream of expecting people to put up two rooms for me, hubby and baby when we visit them even though we sleep in a different room to the baby at home. Is it me or are they being a bit too precious to expect us to put up two spare rooms for them (particularly as they now visit a lot more since we have the baby). Thanks all, have a great weekend!

Just put them in one room, and buy a pack of earplugs from Amazon. Around £5-7. If that doesn't suit them, tell them that you're sorry about that-then don't change your mind.

"I'm taking it you've never met a bad snorer then? Not all have sleep apnoea"

Not as bad as this, clearly, but tbh, someone who snored so bad someone can't sleep in same room as them, i can't imagine how that relationship would even get off the ground if the other partner is a light sleeper.
I mean some people can sleep through anything, and i imagine they could sleep through snoring in the same way that some people can sleep through babies crying, television or burglaries, but as i said, 1, its the brother who is related , so maybe if SIL cant sleep with him, she stays home, or 2, there are ear plugs and ear defenders for sleeping through loud noises, and 3, maybe he needs to go to doctors.
What you dont do, is frequently visit people, stay over, and demand half their bloody house be rearranged to accomodate your wife

The problem I think is while I love seeing my brother and SIL they want to visit now once a month, when it used to be once or twice a year at most but don’t seem to realise that is very much moving the goal posts.

Well, if you’ve not said anything-they may not know how annoying it is. What have you actually said?

My parents sleep separately for this reason but whenever they are guests at friends houses they just share a bed,its not a big deal.Yanbu they are cf

Put them in same room

If they say anything then say dd needs own room

They can have a night of less sleep or wear ear plugs

*@73Sunglasslover I think that’s a little unfair, (though I did ask for opinions so appreciate the honesty!) If you look at my posts I’ve never once mentioned suggesting, let alone demanding they go to a hotel, that is other posters who have done so. But on that topic yes they are absolutely loaded and buy two rooms on holiday in 5 hotels. I’m not insensitive to SILs sleeping, I am an incredibly light sleeper and know just how ill lack of sleep can make you. However no of course I don’t want to inflict that on my daughter by moving her out of her room. The problem I think is while I love seeing my brother and SIL they want to visit now once a month, when it used to be once or twice a year at most but don’t seem to realise that is very much moving the goal posts.

I didn't mean to offend you. I guess I was just pointing out that it looks like you do understand that this is not a real choice of your SIL and BIL. Despite what a number of people on this thread have said think you do understand that she can't get any real sleep when in a room with your DB, and alleged solutions like earplugs make no real difference when the snoring is really bad. A different solution to the one you used to use may be required if you feel like you really can't move your baby in with you (though in reality I would go with that option as I wanted our kids to be used to that for when we go away places). Moving the lounge around and your B sleeping in there until the baby is up and then moving his 'bed' up there when the baby is awake (and down again if necessary - i.e. if the baby needs to go back to sleep again) is an inconvenience but a pretty minor one really. It sounds like the issue is that your DB is actually keen to be a big part of your baby's life and is therefore wanting to visit more. But you're not so keen and are happy to just see him a couple of times a year (which will make it hard for him to have much of a bond with your baby). There is no right or wrong with family relationships and some people are happier with more distant relationships. But I guess it's something to think about as I don't think there is any way of saying 'I do really understand that 'sleeping' in the same room together is not a 'choice' but even so we think moving a coffee table is too much inconvenience' without it sounding like 'because we don't really want to see you that often' or 'we don't want to put ourselves out for you'. Maybe that's not how others would hear that, but I would and in this situation I would seriously distance myself from the person saying that as I'd not want to feel like I was imposing on someone who was not really interested in a relationship with me.

I think by allowing this since the baby has been born you have set a precedent so don't be surprised if they are annoyed. I would still point out that while you are looking forward to having them over you can only offer up one bedroom. That way if it doesn't meet their needs they can book into a hotel.